If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true is really true, there would be little hope of advance. ~ Orville Wright
There are times when I’m reminded that I really do live in my own little world. And sometimes when I hear or see the worlds that some other people live in…the worlds where being focused on what you don’t want is normal and choosing the very thing you don’t want is just the way it is, I’m totally taken by surprise. I can’t imagine living like that anymore. One thing I know for sure, it isn’t going to improve life as we currently know it. And since it’s been a little while since I’ve told a story, here’s a little travellers tale for you. I was chatting to Louisa yesterday, and she was telling me she’d been delayed at the airport. Hmmm that sounds too familiar…must be time for me to not accept more airport delays in my world. I’m paying attention to reflections here. Difference is that Louisa was actually sitting on the plane when the pilot announced there was a light flashing in the cockpit, that should really not be there and they were waiting to have it seen to before taking off. Sounds sensible to me. Who want’s their plane plummeting to earth for want of fixing a flashing light. Not her. She told me that on hearing that announcement everyone assumed they’d miss their connecting flight. We wouldn’t do that now would we? We’d never assume something we didn’t want. All the people around her were on their phones calling the airline, trying madly to get other flights, because of course, they were going to miss their connection. The woman sitting next to Louisa began complaining how this always happened to her. And Lousa asked, What always happens to you?I miss connecting flights.Why do you think you’ll miss your flight? Louisa asked…all the while mentally saying, I know I made mine. Well something’s wrong in the cockpit, lady seat companion said. So that means you’ll miss your flight? Louisa was flabbergasted…she inhabits the same world we do. You know, the one where we expect good things to happen for us, regardless of the current situation. Why would you want to believe that Louisa asked. You and I have no clue what the outcome is going to be, so why would we assume it’ll be what we don’t want. Why not assume it’ll work out just fine in the end? We can pick any assumption we want right now.
Twenty five minutes go by and fellow passengers become more and more agitated…arguing over the phone about what other flights were acceptable…or not. And then…whoopee a miracle. Everything’s great, they’re next in line for take-off and away they go. The first leg is short, but Louisa now has twenty five minutes to catch her next flight. She checks online and discovers her next terminal is only one train ride away. Great. All is as she imagined. Meanwhile lady companion is still bemoaning her fate. She can’t get to her flight in time she complained. Louisa asks what time her flight leaves and it turned out she had forty five minutes to catch it. But dollars to doughnuts, it’ll be at the other side of the airport and I’ll get stuck and…. No, no don’t do that to yourself thought Louisa. She looked up the terminal for fellow passenger’s next flight and it turned out she too was only one terminal away from the landing gate. If Louisa planned on making her flight with twenty five minutes to spare…well enough said. All was well that ended well.
Louisa told me that she spent most of the short trip simply imagining everyone being peaceful and things turning out well for them. Did she ever have a doubt in her mind that her next flight of five hours might actually leave without her? Yes. Did she spend her time focused on that? No. Let’s face it, we none of us spend every waking minute focused on what we want. Not that we can’t. Just that we haven’t trained ourselves to do that yet. And negative feelings in and of themselves don’t need to be judged, they just are. Look for the value in it all and you’ll find it. The experiences they draw to us simply reveal that we have negative thoughts and feelings swirling in our consciousness and if we don’t like the experience we can change the feeling and voila, the experience changes. Pretty cool stuff. And knowing that our consciousness is the maker and builder of our world, we get that it’s important in our life to focus as much as possible on happy outcomes. And let’s face it, doesn’t that feel better anyway? What’s your predominant belief? Is that that wonderful things are always happening for you. Or is it more like, things always go wrong for me. Whatever it is, we don’t focus on it one hundred per cent of the time. So we get a mish mash of stuff; some we like and some we don’t. We simply tip the scales in our favour if we can stay tuned into what we want at least fifty one per cent of the time. Feel good about those happy outcomes. We’re forever interpreting our reality as good or bad or heck this is happening to me again. And as we focus on those very things we’ve labeled bad, we maintain the status quo and every now and then get ourselves into a downward spiral, going from bad to worse. Staying focused on our current reality, be it in a plane or on the ground just perpetuates it. Which is pretty cool if it’s what we want. But ultimately it’s all just consciousness, we’re little vibrations of energy and we know that positive vibes attract positive things and vice versa. And all I have to say to any naysayers is that if Viktor Frankl can use his imagination to create a reality that was far, far removed from living in a concentration camp, then we can do likewise when we find ourselves in a situation that looks as though it might very well not be going the way we’d choose. Just think if he had simply accepted his fate and focused on that, we might never have had logotherapy or Man’s Search For Meaning, or this:
“Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. The salvation of man is through love and in love.”
There he was, being brutally treated and still had a great aha. Which in a nutshell was ~ never mind if there’s nothing left in our life, we can still know bliss by contemplation of love, of someone beloved. Even if currently, our only achievement is to endure suffering, through loving contemplation we can still achieve fulfillment. In other words focus on something that feels good, that makes you happy. That sort of puts a little problem with a plane ride, or an unhappy moment, or hour, in a day into some perspective don’t you think?
[success] Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way. ~ Viktor Frankl [/success]
Encourage one another. Love Elle xoxo
19 Comments
What a nice post, Elle! Really enjoy your comfortable, straightforward writing style, as well as this idea of expecting what we want. If we keep our eyes and ears open, I’m sure we can see many examples like yours of how this attitude plays out in the routine comings and goings of daily life. Saludos.
Welcome Jeffrey and thanks for your kind words. You speak truth my friend, keeping our eyes and ears open and suddenly we move into this great space called ‘awareness’ and therein lies our power. Keep us posted on what you find! 🙂
Great story! It really illustrates how our thoughts can rule how we spend our day. Spend time worrying and complaining and you’ll have a miserable day, whether or not you miss a flight. Spend it thinking happy thoughts and you’ll have a nice day, whether or not you miss a flight.
Like Louisa, I love to use visualization to help with situations like this. I often do this when I think I may be coming into a stressful situation, and it really helps.
Isn’t that great Eric, you visualizing the outcomes you want for you and others. I think of it as mediating God for our fellow man. It’s a pretty cool thing to do my friend. You’re making my world a better place and I thank you. 🙂
Boy, Elle isn’t this the true. Our life depends on how we see it. This is a little story that is happening to me and hubby right now.
We bought a new TV and stand for it. The first stand they brought out was damaged. The second stand was damaged even worse. Saturaday they are to bring out a third stand. I do have to let you know that when it comes to hubby being and engineer you can not just buy a TV. You have to have the surround sound, Amp and all, which can be a big job in itself to connect. The second time the stand was delivered we did have the Geek squad come out and connect everything. Now when this 3rd stand is to be delivered the Geek squard will bring the stand out themselves and reconnect everything.
I told hubby the third time is charm, he says 3 strikes and your out. i just laugh because will if it is 3 strikes, there is Sooner or later things have to work out right. This morning the company we got it from called to let me know they were going to take the stand out of the box first to make sure there was no damage to it.
When it comes to flying and you miss a connection before getting to upset, there may be a reason for missing that connection. Like you say things always work out, sometimes we may need a little more patience,s but they work out, i like to fall back on a little humor when they take time to work out.
Aaah Debbie patience, now there’s a word that we don’t seem to have much time for these days and yet, as you say each outcome arrives at it’s appointed hour and it will be just perfect, if we let it. 🙂
Hopefully your tv saga came to a happy conclusion too.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In response lies our growth and our freedom. “~ Viktor Frankl
Well didn’t that just resonate like the Tower of London, followed by questions:
How do we slow down enough to become present to the space.?
What are some ways to empower our choices?
How do we shift from resisting to choosing, even embracing the act of choosing?
More please Elle 🙂
Love that Sandi – resonate like the Tower of London. Fascinating questions – looks like more posts expounding Viktor Frankl are required. 🙂
Life happens and it is our reaction to it that can make the difference. For some staying in the positive is easy, for others it takes more work, but the benefits are worth the effort. Nothing better than gliding through life with a smile on your face.
Thanks for a great post, as always. Funny … I was accused of living in my own little world just last week when I was talking to my boyfriend about his perpetual negative thinking about being unemployed, having a car that always needed repairs, having inconsiderate people sit next to him at concerts, etc. He also said my alternate reality was going to bite me in the arse someday. Well, I don’t think of it that way and am really happy to have received this post. He is now my ex-boyfriend (and not just because of the above issue, but many) and I’m planning to meet someone who loves me just as much and understands how much we can create with our thoughts.
Wow Debi, much kudos to you…you go girl. 🙂
I’m learning every day the truth of what you express in this post. I thoroughly agree with everything written here.
Welcome Claire and good for you kiddo. Once awareness arrives, all that’s left is practice and then more practice and then…well you get the picture. But believe me it’s really a fun game, this life stuff. 🙂
My lesson lately is choosing my response in that space. I’ve not been doing well. Sigh. I’m going to shift my perception;)
Hi Tess…nice to see you.
As you and I know, its an on-going process. We start, we stop, we do great, we don’t. I learned when I had a challenge saying NO to people to take a breath before I spoke…just to give myself some space between reacting and responding, and I use it with everything now. Although I’m here to confess there are times when the reaction is sooo quick I hardly have time to take a breath…and that’s altogether another story. Like you, I keep focusing on that new perception of myself. 🙂
What a perfect read to start my day! Thanks, Elle!
Marjorie
Welcome Marjorie and thanks for taking the time to say so. It’s very much appreciated. 🙂 Hope to see you here again soon.
Elle,
I loved how this story illustrates how each of create our own reality. The person sitting next to you see it their way and you see it your way.
I’ve long come to treasure my pink tinted glasses!
xoxo,
Angela
Hello Angela, I too love your pink tinted glasses…you live in such a beautiful world. 🙂