Early on in my childhood I somehow developed an inability to say “No”. Didn’t seem to matter if it was something I wanted to do or not…the word no, got stuck somewhere between not wanting to annoy someone and wanting to be popular. Pitiful, I know. But there you are and there I was. Stuck.
Wouldn’t it be great if I told you, that it didn’t take me too long to get over this. Yep, but it wouldn’t be true…and you know how I have to keep things real.
The important thing isn’t so much how long it took before I took a very deep breath and said “No” and discovered, like Chicken Little, that the sky didn’t fall after all ~ the important thing is that I did it.
I discovered that our ability to walk away is a powerful tool. It’s empowering to know that there’s almost nothing you can’t say no to. Or put another way, there’s nothing where you can’t choose to say yes to something else.
It isn’t about being against something…which just creates a negative vibration within us…it’s really about saying yes. Yes to who you are and honouring that.
[success] You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha[/success]
My Darling One negotiates for a living and I’ve learned from him that those who are willing to walk away from the negotiation —genuinely being willing to say, no thanks, not just pretending — are in the strongest position. Being convinced you need to make a deal puts you at a disadvantage. Your happiness and success suddenly exist outside of you.
Being willing to walk away when making a huge purchase like a home and not being emotionally attached to the outcome, or asking that you be treated with respect at work, or school, or in a relationship all come down to the same thing. Be willing to say no thanks. Be willing to walk away. Be willing to say yes to something else.
If you convince yourself you have to have something…be it anything, big or small from your daily latte to a new car you’ll be willing to give up precious time and money to get it…and more precious you might even be willing to give up a part of yourself.
Someone who knows that those things aren’t absolutely necessary can just say no thanks, not today.
Maybe they’ll say yes tomorrow, but for today they’re saying yes to something else.
Whatever you’re convinced you need, makes it essential to your happiness. It isn’t. Even if you do feel happy about acquiring something, it’s fleeting. Deep down, we all know that.
Being willing and able to say “No” to the relationship where you’re not valued and respected, but you stuck with it because…well you love them…and you know they’ll change one day and that deep down they really love you…is a way of saying “Yes” to your value, to your self worth, saying yes to you.
Saying “No” is a powerful tool, because once you know that there’s almost nothing you can’t walk away from, you’ll save yourself beaucoup headaches, heartaches and money and you’ll be placing a value on yourself that’s priceless. Believe me, when I say I’m speaking from experience.
Being able to say “No” doesn’t mean you have to…it just means you can…when you want to. And now your power and happiness are back in your hands, not out there. It wasn’t an easy lesson to learn, but boy am I glad I did.
Encourage one another.
*Well worth a read