how can I transform my life

It’s like trying to solve that 32,256 piece jigsaw puzzle.   Life that is.

We get advice from every corner.

How to motivate yourself. How to be more successful. How to stop procrastinating.

Try loving yourself more. Take better care of yourself. Everywhere we look there’s an endless stream of how-to’s.

And all the while you feel like you’re doing everything you can, and it still feels like a struggle.

And struggling isn’t a joyful state of mind…it just gives you a giant headache.

Truth be told, all you really want is to be happy.

I have good news; some pieces of life’s puzzle that will finally transform your life as you know it.

1.Fighting for happiness

Growing up you had happiness defined for you. You didn’t know any better. You were a kid.

Even today, as an adult, happiness is often still being determined by the perspective of someone else.

It’s reached the point that where we live, the sort of clothes we wear, the career we have, or the money we make have become the determining factors in how we feel about ourselves.  And the biggest measurement of our happiness.  

It’s fine and dandy to have all those things, but they shouldn’t be the deciding factors for happiness in your life.

Then process has become more important than the real thing.

And worse, we continually seek to have bigger and better, because we’ve learned that’s where our happiness lies.


[Tweet “Happiness isn’t counted by what we have in our hands, only by what we have in our hearts.”]

2.Get a grip

let go

It’s never too late or too soon to be the person you are capable of being.

Begin by seeing things you’ve never seen before.

Like taking a fresh look at your mind.   The most important faculty in your life.   Which, right now is out of control.

Doing it’s own thing all the time, because you’d never choose thoughts that keep you awake in the early hours? Would you?

You, me, us, we identify ourselves with our thoughts and ideas. Your mind isn’t YOU. It’s simply an accumulation of all you’ve ingested over the years.

Stop identifying yourself with things that you’re not!

We’re enslaved by ideas and beliefs that began with someone else.

Don’t do this any more.

Get a grip and become more conscious, more responsible for the thoughts and beliefs that you act upon.  This will truly transform your life.

3.Situational stepping stones

We get stuck in this maze of repetition. And like little gerbils run round and around…experiencing the same events, having the same reactions and following the same path that leads us right back to where we started.

You can get out of this maze by seeing all of life as filled with stepping stones for larger possibilities. And every situation you find yourself in is one you can use for your greater well being and happiness.

It’s easy to imagine those awesome experiences you have as stepping stones to the wonderful.  But it’s when you choose to see the experiences that don’t turn out so well as the same stepping stones to greater well being that misery becomes magic.

Then, whatever the situation, you know beforehand that it will be something very, very useful to you.

That is the path to genuine transformation. That’s the road to your natural happy state.

4.Transform your life with distance

freedomThe simple tweak of distancing yourself from your mind creates the space for you to simply ‘BE’.

Imagine sitting in a traffic jam…horns honking…triggering irritation, frustration or even downright explosive anger.

You are being controlled by your experience. What to think, what to feel is being determined because of your identification with the situation. Grrr traffic!

Now take yourself up in the air…you’re in a helicopter or a hot air balloon and down below is a traffic jam. You can’t hear anything, you’re far removed from the experience. You’re simply an observer. Huh a traffic jam!

That’s the mental  space you can choose to occupy in all and every experience.. That’s freedom. That’s transforming your life.

5.Take control

One tiny thought in your head, or one feeling you have, far too often decides the outcome of your experience right now. 

Why do you allow your thoughts and feelings to work against you?  Because, like most of us, no one ever told you it was possible to do it differently.

With your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs under your control, you can have as much as the richest person on the planet. Be as peaceful as a Buddhist monk, and experience the happiness that is your true nature.

But only you can give yourself this inner freedom, or take it away. Nobody else can.

6.Release yourself

One of our greatest challenges is to release ourself from the grasp that our senses have upon us. That physical reality that distracts from our source of power.

Your level of happiness stems from how focused your mind is.

There’s nothing stopping you from having ‘more’ nor is there anything stopping you from being happy, however much you ‘have.’ . But to have more, first you must become more.

Make sure you’re making the most of every moment we call life, by making happiness a conscious choice and not a reaction.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Thanks for this, Elle. My favorite is No. 4 – Distance. I will never forget my brother telling me once when I was having a hard time. “Pull back,” he said, “Pull back further.” He was trying to get me to put space between myself and the difficult circumstance. It brings such peace when you’re able to do it, and I’ve found that, most of the time, I AM able to do it. 🙂

    • Hi Linda…that’s awesome advice from your brother. Putting space between who we really are and our minds, or even our bodies, does lead to peace. Love your I AM understanding. 🙂

  2. I love the idea of situational stepping stones. Often when I am overwhelmed or feel like I am not making progress, it helps to break things down and look at the little pieces, which are much more manageable. Even the negative things are sometimes little pieces helping me to know what the right direction is.

    • Hello Michele…I so agree with you…taking things down to small increments, be they what we might think of as good or bad, gives us the opportunity to deal with life in smaller pieces…just as you say. Wise words dear heart. 🙂

  3. I really appreciate these points about how the mind works, Elle. I know I’m not my thoughts and emotions and when I don’t invest in them strongly, life is so much sweeter.

    • Isn’t that the truth Sandra…life is so much sweeter when we’re not being distracted by our mind…when we get to pick and choose where our mind will go. 🙂

  4. I love this post, Elle. I especially agree with #6 and the statement “Your level of happiness stems from how focused your mind is.” That is so true.

    I don’t mean to imply that depression isn’t a real biological condition, but our bodies physically react to our minds – both positive and negative. That is our power to change our lives.

    • Hi Debbie…your point about depression is well taken. Our thinking/feeling affects our bodies on a chemical level, since we are basically a bunch of chemicals in a bag! It’s no surprise then to understand there’s a link between them. I appreciate you bringing this point to the fore. 🙂

    • Hi Allanah, glad you enjoyed the post and thank you for taking the time to stop by. 🙂

  5. Wonderful suggestions here, Elle. I also love this line – “You can get out of this maze by seeing all of life as filled with stepping stones for larger possibilities.”

    Stepping back and taking a look at my reactions to situations is always helpful.

    • Hi Cathy…thank you for your kind words I appreciate them. As you say, keeping an eye on our reactions to life allows us to choose a sometimes better response! 🙂

  6. Love the stepping stones in no 3, speaks to me and I love when I come here today i am seeing all my artwork in your ads that are on your page Thank you for you inspiration xx

    • Hi Suzie…I’m so happy you are seeing all your artwork in the ads…they’re truly beautiful. 🙂

  7. Hi Elle, another beautiful post. No. 6 is good for me, Do not let our thoughts and feelings work against us. We are the ones that should take control of our emotions, in order for us to always have a good perspective in life. Thanks for sharing.

    • Hi there…I think I should say Sherill and not Noah…if so…I apologise for all the Noah’s you’re received! 🙂 #6 is one I have to pay attention to also…it’s far too easy to get caught up in ‘experiences’ or ‘events.’ lol.

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