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Peace of mind can be elusive.

For some it’s a constant chase.  How to find it?  

It must lie somewhere between the busy demands of life: work, home, family and the many obligations we shoulder on a daily basis. 

Right?

Wrong

Peace of mind isn’t an end result. It’s a state of being.  

A state of being that’s always available, though it might require a little effort to choose it over the noise and bedlam of the world in which we live.

Your circumstances can’’t control your mental state unless you allow it.

And yes, it’s not easy to choose peace of mind when going through hard times.  But grandma was right when she said “Focus on your blessings and your burdens won’t be so hard to carry.”

This is how you can get more peace of mind and reduce anxiety and no you don’t have to fight monsters (like negative thoughts, or your internal critic) to win peace of mind. 

Stress and worry aren’t the only available options to life experiences. 

There are plenty of things we can do to create peace of mind in response to events in our life and apply them to everyday living.

What we need to do is:

Don’t  always assume the worst

It’s extremely likely that some troubles will happen in life.  

Who am I kidding.  We all know it’s pretty darn certain.

But if they haven’t happened yet then they’re not to be considered by you right now.

Why suffer ahead of time, when you’ll suffer enough should those challenges arrive. So in the meantime follow grandma’s advice and focus on your current blessings.

Lots of things will happen in life between now and your assumption that the worst is on its way.  

Things that could chart an entirely new course in your life, leaving your worst expectations in the dust.

How to make it easier on yourself:

Defuse and contradict

It just isn’t possible to have two conflicting ideas and feelings held in your mind at the same time.  

This is another area that can prevent peace of mind from being part of your everyday life.

So if thoughts of difficulties or obstacles, fear or worry are flooding your mind they need to be defused. 

And contradicted.

Because your subconscious mind accepts these feelings as your request and before you know it you will experience events that are an energetic match.

Okay I know this is Jedi-level stuff.

But seriously, there is an unbroken link between your thoughts and feelings and the events in your world. 

Try and remember what’s truly important to you and use that energy to keep your focus on that whenever you can. As I say we can’t focus on two things at the same time.

Buy a notebook

And no it doesn’t need to have a pretty picture on the front or say “Secret.”

This is your ‘Looking Forward’ notebook.

journalling

Write down all the things you’re looking forward to.  It might be something as simple as watching a movie.  Studies show even this has raised people’s endorphin levels by 27%.

What does that mean for us? More peace of mind. Yay.

Write down your progress and your expectations. It’s a great way to keep track of where you were versus where you are and it could become your ‘Little Personal Guide to Myself.’

And make sure you keep a note of all the good in your day.  Earthshaking events not required, but awesome if you had any.

Martin E. P. Seligman explains why this is a good thing and promises we’ll be happier because generally we’re pretty rotten at dwelling on the good events in life.

Read: Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being:

And what does that mean for us?  You hit the nail on the head.  More peace of mind and less anxiety. 

Give it a shot, it only takes five minutes.

Contribute

It’s amazing how helping someone else helps us too.  Sorry to tell you what I know you already know.

Do something kind for someone without any expectations of a returned favor. Think Benjamin Franklin.

The problem we run into these days is how can that work?

Use the leverage of your skills or talents to help someone else.  If you’re a Pinterest wizard create a design for someone. If you have awesome web skills, help someone with their website.

Keep an eye open for where you can lend a hand.  If it’s something you love to do anyway, it’s a win/win all around.

And you’ll feel great about yourself and others will feel grateful.  Both peace of mind feelings.

Okay you’ve got the big picture stuff:

– Not assuming the worst

– Writing things down

– Paying attention to Grandma

Now we have to get into the weeds. And yes…do obey this next one!

Stuff that can help the process.

Disregard appearances

To woo-woo for you?

Let me bring it down to earth.

Disregard appearances and see things as you wish them to be, has been my go-to-phrase for months now, and I’ve been pretty good at putting it into practice, except when I haven’t!

A couple of months ago I had a flareup of trigemninal neuralgia.  I had it once years ago, but this time it was a doozy.  

For those who have no idea what this means you can thank your lucky stars, because it means you’ve never had it, and may you never experience it.

I ended up needing medication to try to calm the facial nerves and diminish the pain.

Here’s what it is for the curious ones among you.

Recently I had some really good pain free days, not even a twinge. (Thank you thank you).  I’m out of the woods.  Or so I thought.

Until I wasn’t.

 Mini pains returned. I must have had 40 in the course of one day.  But it wasn’t until the end of the day that I realized that I had disregarded them.

Yes they were painful for a minute or two at a time, though not those jolting electric shocks that would stop me in my tracks and take my breath away. And I found a blessing in that.

So I simply disregarded or ignored them and in my mind’s eye jumped to an image of how I wanted my face to feel.

I paid little attention to those shocks of pain and carried on with what I was doing. And I didn’t have to make it so. It just was so.

I know that it can usually take a bit more of an effort to disregard appearances in your life when unexpected shocks shake you, but if you seek joy and look for the blessings you’ll be building a protective circle around you that will give you more peace of mind and reduce your anxiety.

I promise.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle

xox

Elle Sommer
Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.

6 Comments

  1. Dear Elle, I appreciate the synchronicity of this post for me! I’ve been feeling delicious random moments of joy lately. But the tarot card I received yesterday said there were dark thoughts too. So I decided to look to see what I am quietly anxious about and stuff was there. I’m not going to focus on it though, as you suggest. It was good to acknowledge it but none of it needs to be front and center in my life. So I love these ideas as they will make this even more so!

    I’m so sorry about your pain bout, and inspired to see how you’re working with it! Hugs!

    • Hi Sandra, I love the idea of ‘delicious random moments of joy’ sounds so inspiring. And congratulations on choosing to not allow your darker thoughts to be front and center. I know it’s not the easiest thing in the world, but random moments of joy is such a wonderful place to dwell in, that it probably makes kicking the ‘other stuff’ to the curb so much easier. 🙂

  2. Thank you for these helpful suggestions, Elle. I have learned that working with my mind and thoughts, whether through writing, as you suggest, or thought reframing, my favorite, always eases my anxiety. I am quick to bring myself into the present and notice any assumptions I might be making. I used to always assume the worst. Thankfully, not anymore. 🙂

    • Hi Debbie…that’s brilliant that you no longer assume the worst. I’ve been there too. In fact believe it or not I would assume the worst on purpose, so I could feel better when the worst didn’t happen. Not kidding. What a backward way to live life. Lol. And like you I’m happy to be doing life a lot differently now.

  3. Johnny Angelo Reply

    Well written.
    What caught my attention was the connection between your “disregard appearances” and your “don’t always assume the worst”.
    As a young golfer I frequented a municipal course and one day ended up paired with one of the older better golfers. And the best bit of advice he gave me was “forget that last shot and let this next shot be your best one of the day”. The odd thing is that he told me that after I hit a ball that even he said “good shot” about. It confused me for more than a little while until I understood – as you have so succinctly stated – ” disregard appearances” to accept even greater results and “don’t always assume the worst” because you limit yourself to endless greater possibilities.
    Thank you for that wonderful advice and for bringing back that memory. Cheers !

    • Hi Johnny, love your story about golf. And it’s so true disregarding appearances stops your limiting mind in its tracks and allows you to accept greater results.

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