Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power. ~ Seneca

It was cold and icy, with small snow flurries and the roads were treacherous and the traffic slow.  I was eighteen and had just got my driver’s licence.

Across the pond, we don’t get to drive at sixteen.  Who’d have thunk it.

And then it happened.

Sitting, minding my own business in a traffic jam, wham, bang, I was hit from behind, propelling me into the car in front and the next car piled into the next…the domino effect took over.

There were twelve of us in this particular melee.  Thankfully no-one was hurt, mainly because we were mostly stationary or creeping along.  But when it was all over, my car was dented and I went home to vent about stupid, idiot drivers.

The cure-all

My Mum made me a nice cup of tea.  It’s what we do, tea and sympathy.  You know the drill, feeling sick…let’s have a nice cup of tea. Had a row with BF…let’s have a nice cup of tea.  It’s the overall panacea for what ails you.  Plus the sympathy and support of course.

Only this time I was to learn that support didn’t always mean agreement.

“Well dear, what’s going on with you?” Mum asked.

“Some fool banged into the back of me, that’s what.”  I was still feeling resentful towards said idiot who put that dent in my car.


“Hmm.”  When my Mum said hmm like that it usually wasn’t to agree.  We sat quietly drinking our tea, while I pondered.

It’s not my fault syndrome

“If someone hits me, when I’m sitting there minding my own business I’m not to blame.  Right?”

“There’s a difference between being to blame and being responsible.”  Mum said in her quiet Scottish brogue.

I didn’t get it.

I didn’t get it because I didn’t get one of the most important laws of life and I probably should confess, I didn’t get it even when Mum explained it to me.

I am the cause of everything that happens to me.  Once you get this law of life you’re liberated from the idea that something else caused your experience.  You stop blaming life and begin looking within.

If someone hits me from behind, I am the cause.  If I get robbed, I am the cause.  Not to blame, just the cause.  Big, big difference. And before everyone is ready to tell me what an idiot I am, let me explain.

Vibration is the answer

Life works according to our vibration of energy and we are all an accumulation, a conglomerate of every thought, event, fear, worry, emotion and reaction.

Life simply responds to our vibration and our reality is created.  So some of my thoughts must have been of a lowly vibration…I knew this to be true.

My Mum knew how life worked, she always tried to guide and encourage me to be aware that I would always get circumstances and events according to the vibration of energy created by my thinking.

Not her exact words, but the gist of what she tried to teach me.  She wanted me to have the immense personal power that comes with that realization.  That personal power also belongs to you.  Might I suggest you not wait as long as I did to use it.

As I say…it took me a while.

Encourage each other.

Love Elle





Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Joseph Appaloosa

    Ah yes, a nice cup of tea does help to soothe all discomforts…
    If I am getting the gist of this article; by shifting from blaming outside factors for our experiences to accepting that it’s our inner-self (the amalgamation of all our thoughts/beliefs/assumptions) that is responsible for our experiences, we are recognizing and choosing to accept our personal power. This will take some pondering but I find it fascinating. Thank you.
    Write on, Elle !

    • Elle

      You certainly did get it Joseph. As I said in the post, it took a long time and a lot of pondering for me to get this. And also to not transfer blame from outside factors to myself. It’s not about blame at all, it’s about recognizing that it’s simply my consciousness that makes my world. You know how the saying goes, change your mind, change your world.

  2. It took me 40 years to realize that I’m the creator of my own life experience, that my experiences are determined by my consciousness, not by the circumstances of my life. Even though I`m monitoring the words I`m saying, the thoughts I`m thinking and the feelings I`m feeling (at least I`m trying) sure I have challenges in my life. (There is a reason why I do not use the “problem” word) With taking responsibility and as you beautifully said “stop blaming life and begin looking within” I realized that there is no one to change but self. Well…it is easy to say…right? With practice it becomes easier and easier. Honestly I take it as a game, the game of my life and now I already know that it is up to me how this game is going. Joy, bliss, harmony, financial freedom or worry, discouragement, fear, poverty? We can always choose..

    Thank you so much for encouraging us!
    Love, E 🙂

    • Elle

      This is a wonderful story E. I love the idea of you playing the game of life. So cool.

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