How many times have you heard the phrase, you can’t see the forest for the trees? Umpteen, I suspect. But have you ever heard the phrase “It’s more difficult to see the forest when you’re running through the trees?”
Probably never. It was a phrase my Mum used when trying to get me to pause…just for a moment. She was trying to get me define my life not by what I did, but by who I was. Not for many years did I understand the value of her words…as in most of the wisdom that she tried to impart…it used to fall on stony ground.
I was like the White Rabbit. What is it with me and Alice in Wonderland? I’m late, I’m late for a very important date…was my motto. It wasn’t that I was really late for anything, this was my attitude to life. Had to get things done. Had to keep moving. Living life at such a fast pace that it was mostly a blur. Certainly no time to stop and smell the roses.
It didn’t matter how quickly I moved, how much I did, I still fell further and further behind. I always had another project, another task to be accomplished. There were those who whispered type A personality. What? Rubbish and I rushed on to my next project. Overachiever? Me? Really?
It was exhausting. I was drained, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I became ill. Then I had to slow down. Boy, was I sick. But the good news was that I didn’t care. It didn’t matter two hoots whether I accomplished something or nothing. Actually accomplishing nothing felt better. I was relieved. I now had permission to do nothing. To pause and just breathe.
What an eye opener. I began to understand the quote “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”
I was working life from the outside in and surprise, surprise, it didn’t turn out very well. I began to learn…hey I was a little slow on the uptake I know…but I did begin. I was awakening. Awakening to the fact that who I was determined what I did. Not the other way around. My life mirrored back to me perfectly that I believed I had to do much to be worthy. I had to do much to measure up.
I started to learn about the creative process in life and understand my role in it. I had first to decide that I was worthy and all my ‘doing’ would stem from that belief. I began to realize, in just a small way, that it was my thoughts and feelings that created my actions and from there came my results. I looked around and saw that life was beautiful.
It was scarey to do things differently, but it was also a blessed relief. My feet were sore from all that running. And life is so much easier when there’s time to breathe.
Encourage each other.