No doubt you know them.
Those who seem to glide through life balancing homes and families, horrendous work hours, fitting in the gym, tai chi and meditation all the while walking on a high wire hundreds of feet above the ground.
Or so it seems from a distance and meanwhile your eyes glaze over at everything on your plate, your jaw dropping open at the mountain of things that need your attention.
And all you want to do is cry, or have a stiff drink, or dive into the doughnut shop and forget it all.
So what do these incredible people have that you don’t?
They’ve learned to control the things they can in life and let the rest go. And it all begins with these steps.
When you believe you are in control of events; when you no longer allow events to be in control, you step into a place of empowerment. Nothing can overcome you without your permission.
You can control the way you think about things. You can control your attitude. You can choose to respond and not react. You can limit your bad habits.
Whatever you choose to believe, life will turn that belief into a fact. And you’ll discover more about who you really are, making life and success easier. Use that mindset. Affirm your belief. It’s the key that unlocks your power to keep control of your life.
2. Creating habits
The more you can create a useful habit the less you have to worry or think about.
Create a pre-paving habit, for actions that lead to making life less stressful. Choose ahead of time how you plan on responding to unexpected crises. Falling back on outworn reactions is not an option.
Create a habit of finishing. Determine that you won’t start on the next project until you’ve completed this one. Your life is created by the habits you have and it will never change if you don’t change something you do every day. And it might not be easy. It can be painful to let go of things that used to work.
But changing your daily routine, giving up the old to create the new, is how you begin to get more control of your life.
3. Energy renewal
Our world today celebrates doing and ignores renewing.
To keep you in control of your life, you need both.
Your most important resource is the energy you bring to life. Yet every day we deplete our energy resources through worry, fear, unhappiness and stress. There has to be a different way.
Watch how and what you eat, it’s affecting your energy. Renewing or depleting it.
Not getting enough sleep can leave you feeling sluggish, even if you’re a ‘morning person’. Negative thinking…feelings of guilt or self-pity all leak away your energy resources.
Increase your life force energy by including fun and joy in your day. Make sure you laugh a lot. It’s an energy boosting practice. Nourish your body, mind and spirit through this sitting meditation, from The Chopra Center or try this beginners Qi Gong. Or just plain step back and do something that raises your energy levels. You know how that feels!
4. Putting down the burdens
You might have a heavy burden to carry at the end of the day. Put it down when the day is done. You can pick it up tomorrow if you must. But after a good night’s sleep you might have come up with a solution to any problem that’s weighing on you.
And don’t accept the burdens that others want you to carry for them. Whenever you hear the code words ‘I’d like to clear the air’ or ‘get things out in the open’ there’s a good chance someone wants to hand the burden of their own negative energy to you.
Their mission is not one of support. Be kind, but don’t allow yourself to be used. Consistently carrying burdens be they yours or those of someone else will not only wear you out, but you’ll never be able to fly.
5. Embracing discomfort
I needed to practice this myself over the past couple of weeks. Events I didn’t care for, people behaving like…well people…coming from fear and their own stressors managed to show up in droves.
I can’t lie. It wasn’t comfortable, but instead of pushing back, instead of trying to squish my feelings, I left it all alone. I let it play out. I didn’t interfere or meddle in the middle. And as if by magic…it all turned out better than before. Lesson learned.
One of the most liberating things in life is when we come to appreciate discomfort as a gift. The gift of our growth and expansion. So stop thinking how hard it is to do things differently, because once you step into it you’ll discover the rewards are greater than the discomfort.
6. Being open
Keep your mind open…give yourself room for something new. Nothing will change if you keep operating from the same mindset.
Mindset switches aren’t easy…but once you begin to see life with a fresh pair of eyes, you’ll discover amazing things and people that were there all the time, but you didn’t have the mindset to notice, nor eyes to see. As within so without, holds true in every aspect of living. Having the right mindset can be amazingly powerful.
Honestly, you have so much that you can control in life, that focusing on all the things you can’t doesn’t make any sense.
Don’t burn yourself out trying to control the uncontrollable. Select those things you can control and fill your life force bucket as often as possible. And most important of all choose your mindset which determines pretty much everything else.
Encourage one another.