How to Stop Making Your Life Harder Than it Need Be

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making-life-harder

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. ~ Marcus Aurelius

Big changes are always afoot in life. And when change is hard, remember that even when things don’t seem to be getting any easier you are getting stronger.

We all have those days. The ones where everything is hard, where it seems as though we’re doing everything we should be doing and still nothing works. The ones where it’s easier just to hide under the covers.

If this is you, and you haven’t made it to where you wanted to, and progress seems slow or non-existent, remember when things are at their darkest, there’s only one thing to be done, look for the light. Get out there and don’t let anything stop you from shining.

It’s never too late

Huge changes aren’t easy and comfortable and they’re not always pretty. In fact it’s a chaotic, challenging, scary process.

But it’s never too late to start again. If you’re not happy with yesterday there’s nothing stopping you from doing something different today. If you’re not living a life you can be proud of…change it.

It’s never too late to be the one you’d love to be. The one you’re capable of being.

I’m right slap bang in the middle of big changes with this site, which means big changes in me too. Keep your eyes peeled for the slow transformation as we evolve, beginning with a new name!

Always look at where you’ve been and how far you’ve come, what you have rather than what you’ve lost, who you are compared with who you were. Because it’s not the struggle or the fear or the difficulties that count…it’s the attitude you have that determines how well everything turns out.

Here’s a few reminders to help get control of your life and cultivate attitudes that spark extraordinary results.

1. Attitude to love

Don’t seek to find someone to love you. Seek someone worthy of your love. Today, love yourself enough to expect the best in every relationship. This is the time to shape your relationships, to feel and believe you are the most blessed person in the whole world.

Set your standards high. Love, value, and respect yourself. Lose the mindset that allowed you to waste your precious life with the wrong person.  Remember that your attitude together with your choices are making your life. You deserve to be with someone who is kind, nurturing and loving. Don’t settle for anything less.

The heart of all great love stories is in their spirit based consciousness, which is a mindset that doesn’t need to hold on to past hurts, wounds, or hurt feelings but always moves forward toward growth and greater emotional connection. Keep in mind that you deserve the best and keep moving toward it.

2. Attitude to self

joyful

The caretaker of your joy and happiness is you. Stop putting your power into the hands of others. Be joyful, be happy because you choose to.

Don’t let anyone control the way you see yourself, or the attitude you have towards you or your life.

You don’t have to live within the confines of how others see you. It’s your job to live your life, not theirs.

Become passionate about your desires, your vision for your future. The most important relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. Decide to be the kind of self you’re happy to live with…always.

Commit yourself to growing, changing, living life with a zest that is all yours. Don’t be afraid of looking silly, or being disapproved of. Choose to thrive, choose to be kind, compassionate, generous of spirit and you’ll not only have a better life yourself, but you’ll be making our world a better place.

Create your own place in this world, that is perfectly you.

3. Attitude to money

Have you noticed that anyone who believes themselves to be lacking financially needs no help from anyone to experience it?

A lack of money is simply the result of all the beliefs you have about money and finances.

If you struggle to pay bills, and live from paycheck to paycheck it’s pretty clear your financial thermostat is set to low.

Don’t be stuck in scarcity. Break out. Get yourself an abundant money mentality with a shift in attitude, and change your money thermostat for good.

Create an automatic mantra. One of mine is that I send success, happiness and well being out with every dollar. Try it, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Get your money game together. Play cashflow – it’ll help change your view of money, spending and investing…plus it’s fun. I’m making it easy, I’ve added the link…now there’s nothing to stop you!

Try YNAB for a quick change in perspective and attitude. YNAB stands for ‘You need a budget’…you’ll be amazed at what can happen in only one month.

But remember, your most powerful asset is your mind, you can train it to view wealth as a good thing. You can be both happy and rich.

Focus on seeing money as energy. Playing cashflow is fun and useful, beginning with YNOB is a wonderful way to manage your current experiences, but they all pale into insignificance compared to the benefit that a rich spirit gives you. It supports you in living a rich life.

It’s time to realize that without you money is useless. You are the one with the power, you are the one who determines how money will be used. Take control of your money thermostat and turn it up a few notches.

Become more conscious of the good money can bring, and you’ll come to realize you’re richer than you think.

4. Attitude to success

attitude

Rewrite your agreement with reality.

An empowered perspective helps you see that the world isn’t always what you think it is.

Your past experiences might have entirely different meanings than the ones you’ve given them. Remember, success depends much more on attitude than your capabilities.

When you act and feel successful and behave as though it were so you’ll discover that soon it becomes so. But first define what successful means to you. Whatever your definition, at the end of the day the greatest success you’ll ever experience is being successful as a human being.

Don’t ever worry what others are doing, you’re not competing with them, you’re being better than you were yesterday. Free yourself from judgement and comparisons. Seek to follow nature. The most beautiful things in nature aren’t concerned with whether something else is blooming better than they, they just bloom the best they can where they are.

Decide to shine as brightly as possible, there can never be too much light in our world and if you keep your eyes open you’ll find inspiration and motivation in other people’s ideas through articles, books and seminars that can help you put your whole heart into who you are. You’ll do better than most, there’s so little competition for living wholeheartedly.

One last thought

If you’re stuck in the process, turning your accidental attitudes into intentional ones will help you feel more positive and confident about all the possibilities that lie ahead. Your attitude to the circumstances of life will make your experiences much worse or much better than at first it might have seemed.

Embrace a new attitude to ensure you’ll reach the end result you desire.

Don’t stay stuck. We can all do better.

Are you struggling with the need for an attitude shift?   Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights with us. You know we love to hear your perspectives.

Thanks in advance for sharing with compassion and kindness. Your perspective may be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.

Encourage one another.

With love and appreciation,

Elle.

P.S If you enjoyed this and think others would benefit Spread the Word and share on facebook, twitter, google plus –  your favourite social network . I’m counting on you. You know that, right?

ElleSommer
Elle Sommer is the author and founder of Live Purposefully Now, a website focused on sharing the insights and ancient wisdom that have collectively changed her life, in the desire to make a meaningful impact on yours. Trained at Coach U and having completed a year long training with Bob Proctor, her mission is to encourage and inspire others to build the business, relationships and life they want. You can also find her on Healthy Natural Oils her new website for helping you get started with essential oils for more natural health, well-being happiness and success in your life!

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41 Comments

  • I am turning 25 on this 14th… I so needed this. Thank you very much Elle like always…. You made my day… 🙂 :* I am going to remember this one.

  • Hi Elle; I will have to try your suggestions about money. the idea of seeing each dollar going out in a positive way could help. i do know i feel better when the money going out is to an investment in me or my business rather than when it is going to pay bills. Of course, bills are for things i have decided are required or wanted by me. each represents a choice, and this post reminds me to make better choices in the future. I do know I have no trouble separating professional or personal success from financial success. I know i am improving and moving forward just not fast enough for my liking. I recently finished writing a short ebook and I’m finding the process of going from writing to editing and publishing maddeningly slow. Of course, I’d be further along if i hadn’t let fear keep me from pressing the button to send the book to my editor several weeks earlier. thanks for sharing this my friend. take care, max

    • Hi Max, nice to hear from you. Please do try the suggestions on money. I speak from experience…I know they work.

      Ah that old impatience bug…we all have it – I read recently we simply have to let life unfold before us…we can’t force it. Something many of us need to remember methinks, this person included! 🙂

      • hi elle; yes we all struggle with impatience. but you notice we never struggle with it when it has to do with drudge work tasks. its only when we are on the trail of something new exciting challenging and a bit scary that we really get impatient. and i like the image of a book. a really good book you don’t just skip to the ending. You read it a page at a time and let the story unfold. but you know if i am in the middle of a truly great story i will often find myself sitting up all night reading to see what happens next. 🙂 for my story I have settled on a price for the book and have selected a cover image. I have decided to offer the ebook for free to my mailing list and certain communities I’m a member of with the hopes they will review it and push it to the top of amazon’s best sellers so those people who want to buy will see it. am also going to offer a package with an hour of coaching just not sure how big a discount to offer on that yet. and i have two radio interviews and a podcast coming up in november so several opportunities to promote the book. thanks for your support my friend. xoxo max

        • Hello there Max, what a great story you have my friend. I can imagine it happening just as you say. It’s amazing how uncomplicated it is to simply to use our imagination and then allow the actions that follow, bring everything about. I think you’ve got this game of life nailed. 🙂

          • hi elle; thanks for the complement. but thinking you have it figured out is dangerous. because there are always going to be people or situations or objectives that activate the old fear responses. it happened to me with the book. and this is in spite of the fact that I am a good writer and people have always told me so. it took several encouraging emails from friends to get me to send the document to my editor. now a cover image has been chosen. so any time now i will be uploading to amazon and posting to my website. thanks again elle. your words mean a lot to me. xoxo max

          • I think figuring it out, doesn’t mean we’re brilliant operators of our life Max. It simply means we know how it works at our current level of understanding. Awareness is always the key to living life at our greatest level. And it’s true that we still have fears and doubts that pop up. We’re human after all. But I think it’s important to acknowledge where you were, and how far you’ve come in your understanding and awareness. I’ve watched you grow and bloom during the time we’ve been ‘friends’ and I celebrate that for you. 🙂

  • Love this Ell – rewrite your agreement with reality! Brilliantly put 🙂 Our attitude and perspective are key to changing the way we experience life. We can’t change the circumstances that come our way, but we can definitely empower ourselves by changing the way we see circumstances. Love the changes you’re making on the site and looking forward to everything else that’s changing around here:)

    • Hi Vishnu, nice to see you my friend. Changing attitudes seems like a huge thing to many I know, but as you and I have come to experience it really just takes a little determination and practice. So well worth it for the rewards we experience, especially watching those old circumstances have less and less influence. Gotta love that. Blessings. 🙂

  • I’m definitely into making changes, right now and I certainly don’t want them to be harder than they have to be. I love these financial links and the idea we can give a positive money attitude a try – it won’t hurt and it could help tremendously!

    • Change is definitely in the air in a big way Sandra. I think I stopped accepting that change really does have to be hard when I woke up one day and realized that I had a choice as to how I viewed it!

      I’ve seen great success from those using those two simple financial practices…nothing complicated at all, and it’s totally about something that shifts an attitude easily. Blessings to you for all your upcoming changes. 🙂

  • Change must be in the air, I wrote on change , then Angela and more here, love the synchronicity and yes the more we embrace and love change then more we will love ourselves and create ripples of change acroos the world
    Love the links xxoo

    • I saw that when I read your post this morning Suzie. Woohoo, we’re all in this together. And I totally accept and believe that we can support the world in making great and wonderful changes, one of us at a time! 🙂

  • Hi Elle,
    Your post hits the nail on the head squarely about the need for attitude changes.
    You are right about shifting attitudes,even though that initially looks scary.
    We are actually a sum of our own attitudes and intentions for the world we inhabit.
    Essentially the most significant part of our life is about how we view ourselves
    in relation to others.
    You are absolutely right about not allowing others to dictate how we must perceive
    ourselves.Because that is their life…….and their life is,well,their business.
    Self love is not only gauged by how our intimate relations pan out,but also by how our usual social relations
    unfold during our ordinary days.
    Interestingly our social and workplace relationships,and our attitudes towards them ,influence a huge portion of our intimate relations as well.

    Thanks Elle for urging us to make this attitude shift……for some shifts actually appear tectonic!
    Mona

    • Speaking for myself Mona, I need to keep an eye on the attitudes I have as events unfold in my world. Having awareness is both the good and bad news, as you say. Everything is so interconnected…so keeping great attitudes on life is sure to permeate every area and as you put so well, we’re the sum total of our attitudes and intentions. Always appreciate your words Mona and thank you for sharing. You help create a wonderful community of encouragers. 🙂

  • Hi Elle. I enjoyed reading your post. The following comment – ” .. . . . .we’re the sum total of our attitudes and intentions.” – jumped out from the page at me. Changed attitudes can come from something as simple as a GRATITUDE ATTITUDE. In the morning, before I start my day, I say 5 things I’m grateful for. It puts me in a happy frame of mind for the day. This practice seems to change my attitude to whatever happens during the day. Thanks for your post and I hope you and your readers have a great day.

    • Hello Jenna…what a lovely way to start your day…I’m sure wonderful things follow you around because of your gratitude attitude. Thinking great thoughts really does increase our happiness quotient and I’m happy you stopped by to share your thoughts with our community. It’s so encouraging. 🙂

  • Very true! The perspective we have on life is based on our attitudes towards life. I know that when I have a positive mentality, more positive things start happening. It’s a domino effect. Enjoyed this post!

  • I love this line – “It’s never too late to be the one you’d love to be.” That seems to be my mantra not only for myself but to pass along to others who may be struggling at the moment. I do believe having confidence in yourself is the key. It is that little tweak in attitude that can make all the difference! Lovely post!!

    • Love what you say Cathy about passing the ideas on to those who struggle. We get so caught up in our hardships and it’s easy to forget that it’s never too late…for any of us. As always, you know how much we appreciate hearing from you. 🙂

  • I felt so inspired while reading this post! About a third of the way through I felt myself take a deep breath, and it felt really good. Thanks so much for so freely sharing such useful advice!

    • Hi Annie, so nice to have you here. And it’s lovely of you to take the time to let me know the post was meaningful to you. You made my day. 🙂

  • Hi Elle,

    I love this post, it summarizes everything about life, making it uncomplicated. The part I like most is the – Attitude to self and when you said “The caretaker of your joy and happiness is you.”

    I believe that joy is not just a feeling, but a very magnetic state of being that we can access no matter what is going on around us. I met people who seems to radiate joy, even when in the most trying of circumstances. We have the power to experience joy, we just have to let ourselves be happy.

    Thanks for posting this awesome article Elle, I learned a lot!

    • Hi Patricia and welcome to the community. I so agree with you that joy or any feeling is a magnetic state attracting into our lives the physical experiences that match our feelings. How wonderful to know people who are so full of joy that, regardless of their current circumstances it still radiates from them. Amazing state of live in. 🙂

  • Elle, thanks for this great article. Surely a message in there for each reader. My biggest attitude adjustment needs to be with my self. Usually do OK but get really aggravated when I catch myself with a big gap between what I know and what I do. Eating junk, skipping exercise, veggin in front of the TV are all things I know are not wise but somehow allow from time to time. (Thankfully not all at once) I ‘m going to try to be a little more patient with myself and accept that becoming mindful is a journey over time. I am on the road to the me I want to be and life is good! Thanks again!

    • Hello Mary and welcome to the community. I’m so happy that you’re going to be kind to yourself. It totally is a journey, we’re all a work in progress and sometimes it’s too steps forward, one step back. Your awareness is key to your success and it seems you have it in spades. Good job you we we say across the pond. 🙂

  • Hi Elle,

    It is indeed very hard sometimes to get into action and leave your comfort zone behind. All the uncertainties, fears as well as others’ disapproval seems too much to overcome. But if we want to live the life of our dreams and be great, we need to have the courage to go through it all..

    We are very easily influenced by the negative influence of others and get scared if others won’t agree with us. But in order to grow, we need to look beyond others’ opinions and just work on getting what is right for us.

    All in all, to live a life that we are proud of, we need to work on our ideas and get past all the obstacles. We also need a healthy balance of relationships, material and non material success, and a clear idea of what we are and where we want to be.

    Thanks for sharing!

    • Hello Atiba, what wise words you bring to us dear One. Everything you say I totally and wholeheartedly support. You speak truth. 🙂

      • Hello Elle,

        Thank you for your appreciation of my few humble words of wisdom! But they are just a fraction of the great things that you know and share with us all. Thank you again for sharing such an amazing article.

        • Awww thanks Atiba. I’m a perpetual student of life. Always studying, practicing and choosing to grow and evolve and I suspect, from the words I hear from you it’s pretty important to you too! 🙂

  • Hi, another great post. Life is full of ups and downs, and change is the only thing permanent in this world, so let’s all change for the better, not to make life harder than it should be. True indeed ” Don’t stay stuck. We can all do better”. Thanks for always sharing a very encouraging post.

    • Hello Sherill, it’s amazing that when we actually reach out to help someone else, or support someone else, we are supporting ourselves. We can all do so much better together and you’re right the one thing we can count on is change. Good to hear from you as always. 🙂

    • Hello Anne and welcome to the party! You seem to have it down pat…kudos to you. That’s very inspiring. 🙂

  • Hi Elle, i find this so true, we need to stop making life harder, do not live our lives base on the opinion of others, We are unique in our own ways. Be happy and live a life full of blessings and gratitude. Thanks so much for sharing a very motivating post.

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