[success]Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. ~ Joseph Campbell[/success]

We’re not always aware of our habits. Right?  But we all have them and it’s a good thing to clean house every now and then. We need to stop bad habits before they become second nature, before they run away with us and we no longer notice them. We need to let go of the things that create obstacles to happiness. Here’s a few reminders I use to make my life way happier.

The list is short, and if you find it useful, print it and post it where you can see it, or share these ideas with friends who might find them useful as well.

We all benefit when we encourage one another.

1. Stop saying nothing good ever happens

Look at all the times good things have come your way. It doesn’t mean good things have come in a flash of light and a heavenly chorus.  You might have been living under a dark cloud and someone quietly brought something good to you. Be awake. Be alert. Often wonderful things are hidden in seemingly insignificant moments.

Wallowing in the belief that nothing good ever happens traps you in a downward negative spiral making it less likely that good things have the space to come into your life. Don’t do that to yourself, you deserve to be way happier.

2. Stop allowing others to decide your dreams

It’s true that we can select our friends, but what about family? Oftentimes it’s a family member who can be less than supportive of your dreams. There’s a simple solution. Don’t share your dreams.small-minds-no-big-dreams

This doesn’t mean you have to keep everything away from your family…there might be some things they’d be happy to support. Use your instincts. If you’re pretty certain that a close family member would be envious or unsupportive of your dreams, keep them to yourself.

Negativity can be a big dream killer and your dreams deserve to thrive, but you need to be committed enough to your vision of life to stop allowing others to come between you and your dreams. They’re only leading you to a future that’s pretty much the same as your present.

3. Put an end to unhealthy attachments

Healthy relationships these days often begin with a healthy relationship with our various electronic devices. If you find yourself being owned by your cell phone, yet want to have better and more connected relationships put that phone away when spending time with loved ones. Same with that screen, turn away and look others in their eyes when they’re speaking to you.

You must tune your attention to what’s important in life. The worst days experienced by those who give their attention to their loved ones are better than the best days of those who do not.

If you truly want to develop and keep your relationships alive and well, nurture them with with some time and attention. Don’t sit idly by while they slip away leaving only memories and remorse and lots more cell phone and computer time…alone.

4. Stop seeking the approval of others

Don’t wait for approval or for the right time. Now is the time. Far too many are addicted to the approval of others. Believing you won’t be loved or accepted unless others approve of your behaviour; or valuing the opinions of others above your own is a sure fire way to be miserable.

Believe in yourself and stop trying to convince others. Take a chance on you and decide to no longer operate from fear. Ask yourself how would my life be different if I stopped worrying what everyone else thought and followed my heart. Remember you’re not responsible for the attitude or beliefs of others, they are. seeing-through-your-eyesThey can only see life through the lens of their own consciousness…and it’s not always a good match to your own.  Sure it’s more pleasant if everyone likes you and agrees with you, but if not, let it be okay.

Life becomes far happier and easier when you no longer live your life in bottom gear in fear of not being popular.

Take this little test.  Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest, how high is your need for approval from others.  Then ask your significant other or best friend to rate you. Compare answers.

5. Stop buying into fears that keep you stuck

Kids are often afraid of all kinds of things that really don’t threaten their wellbeing. Like ‘monsters’ under the bed or shadows that look scary.

And many people grow up with fears that equally don’t threaten their wellbeing, yet are powerful enough to put a damper on a happier, life. The fear of rejection, or public speaking, or success, or failure all are grown up versions of ‘monster’ fears that will keep you stuck.

It’s time to stop checking out of life and check into your fears. Be willing to confront your fears head on and ask yourself whether the threat is real or imagined.

Being afraid of an oncoming bus that might run you over is a real threat. That’s the sort of fear that could save your life. Being afraid because you might get embarrassed or not have the right words to speak is a made up threat in your mind. One that prevents you from stepping out and taking a chance and discovering the incredibly powerful you underneath your ‘monster’ fears.

Keep your dominant thoughts on the vision for your future happier life and pursue it fearlessly.

Over to you. I’d love to hear in the comments below the things you need to stop doing to have a way happier life.

Thank you for stopping by, reading and joining in the conversation. You’re the best.

My appreciation for being cool and kind. Please share this post and spread the love.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. I totally dislike it when I’m out with people who keep their eyes glued to their cellphone. We should put in more effort in nurturing real genuine relationships with the people around us.

    • Elle

      Totally agree with you Jeremy. I will confess I often lol when I see whole families out to dinner and every one of them is on their cell phone, even grandma! Just hits my funny bone somehow. 🙂

  2. Have you heard of the new, out with friends game? You all put ur phones face down in the middle of your table when out to dinner.mthe first one to pick up their phone to check it pays the bill for the table.

    • Elle

      Haven’t hear that one Michelle, but I like the incentive. Someone out there is flipping brilliant. 🙂

  3. I love point 3 and 4.

    “3. Put an end to unhealthy attachments” – We really should reduce our usage of smart phones or any form of technology. They are giving us many benefits but as you said, we can become too attached to it to the point that we feel restless if we don’t use them.

    “4. Stop seeking the approval of others”
    Something that I need to improve in myself. I’m aware of myself doing them but it’s not easy to be more aware of it everyday.

    • Elle

      Hi Wan, you’re so right, we see it all the time, where people are more connected to their technology than they are to the people around them. And we’re all at choice. Mostly I think it’s a lack of awareness of the disharmony that it can cause. And as for the seeking approval…to some degree or another most of us do it…it’s about recognizing when we go overboard to such a degree that we’re no longer living a life that’s best for us. Your comments are so appreciated. 🙂

  4. “And as for the seeking approval…to some degree or another most of us do it…it’s about recognizing when we go overboard to such a degree that we’re no longer living a life that’s best for us. ”

    That’s comforting. Thanks for that, Elle.

  5. Stop seeking approval of others.
    How do I look? Am I incompetent? ……….are some of the oft asked questions to others but seek positive answers from others. this has to stop.

    • Elle

      Hi Kalpana…interesting that this one resonates with most of us. We’re often not even conscious that we seek approval, but once we become aware of it then we can decide to let go of it. It’s funny with social media that there are those I see who need approval of what they think from virtual strangers. If we could get hold of the idea that everyone simply won’t, can’t see the world as we do, it would make for much happier lives all around. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and share your thoughts. 🙂

  6. Thank you Elle!

    My Biggest issue is with number 4: needing other’s approval about whatever I do. I did make a big progress in that, but I still have a lot to do. I used to need everybody’s approval, now it’s only the approval of the people I care about most.

    • Elle

      Hi Nikky, I hope you give yourself a big pat on the back for the progress you’ve made. I’ve experienced those moments when others have said my perspective is complete B.S. And I remember when that would have bothered me no end…today it’s okay because I learned along the way that they don’t have to view the world the way that I do or approve of the choices I make and we can all still be happy. Props to you for you success in this. 🙂

  7. Hi Elle,
    You make a good point about approval seeking there.
    I think,a lot of us devote an inordinate amount of time on approval seeking in life.Without even thinking about it ,we mechanically conform to subconscious dictats to toe the line.
    I’m not saying we become societal rebels.But seriously,sometime soon, we need to sit down calmly and examine our proclivities.
    Why must we always be on “show”?Who are these people from whom we seek constant applause?How important is it really?What if we don’t get that approval and praise?What if we do,then what?Where is our genuine self hidden?How is this mindset contributing to our,or anyone else’s progress?

    An entire lifetime flits by,and we don’t comprehend,we don’t realise what we have been doing.It’s good to wake up early.
    Thanks for reminding

    • Elle

      Hi Mona, as always great wisdom from you. Just love the questions. What indeed? Will the sun still shine tomorrow? Will we have another wonderful day to live? Sure it’s nice to have others agree with us, but ultimately if they don’t validate our choices should we change our path, find new dreams that they’ll like, do things the way that others will agree with? I think not. As you say an entire lifetime can flit by and our life has been lived through someone else’s beliefs and views. They’re here to express those in the world; good for them; and we’re here to express us. And all of us are expressing our beautifully imperfect perfection. And all is well. 🙂

  8. “Healthy relationships these days often begin with a healthy relationship with our various electronic devices.” Have truer words been said? That is such a crucial point, Elle.

    I also resonated especially with the section on our “made-up” fears. They really seem to rule our life but they’re really flimsy when you get right down to it.

    I would add being unkind to self and others as another way not to go!

    • Elle

      Too true Sandra. Being kind and compassionate with everyone draws so much more happiness into our world. 🙂

  9. Great advice as usual Elle! I always leave your blog posts feeling inspired and happier. Thanks!

    • Elle

      So glad you feel inspired and happier Betsy…that’s my secret plan…everyone who steps into this space with me recognizes the value they are and give to our world. 🙂

  10. In the past, I have been guilty of those five very things and occasionally fall back on them but have decided that looking forward and being happy for me is best! Thank you, Elle!

    • Elle

      I like your outlook Cher. Looking forward and deciding to be happy is definitely the way to go. 🙂

  11. I always find happiness, well, almost always, in what happens each and every day…they call that finding the silver lining? But I agree that we have to understand what is a real threat, and what we turn into an I can’t go forward from fear moment. Again Elle, you take me beyond.

    • Elle

      Hi Linda, it’s amazing the power our mind has over us isn’t it? And even more amazing that we continue to fall for it. Putting a little light on the subject can remind us that there’s always another point of view, another perspective we can use to see our world. 🙂

  12. Some excellent points here, Elle. For a long time, the need to seek approval of others crippled me. It rears its head now and then, but I’m more aware of it.

    • Elle

      I’ve been there Corinne, and sometimes find myself with that old tiger by the tail even today…but it’s much easier to spot and shift, as you say once you’re aware. Awareness is our key, right? 🙂

  13. Hi Elle,

    Great suggestions here! I think seeking the approval of others is a trap that so many of us fall into from time to time. It is important to let go of that, be yourself and follow your dreams. This is one to reread often, as it is a needed reminder!

    • Elle

      So true Cathy, as I said to Corinne its one I can find myself in even having practiced these principles for as long as I have. The good news of course is that the better practiced we are, the less time we spend in places that are sure to bring things other than happiness into our world. 🙂

  14. As I grew up, I realized how much we allowed the environment in which we grew up dictate our thoughts, reactions and (gasp!) feelings. In theory, we are taught all the right things, but practice is a whole different matter. Conservative families enjoy the idealism but fear putting it into action. I grew up in one. Perhaps I was lucky to rebel when I was 24 and break free from the family to follow my heart. 🙂 Four solid points. When we take care of the first four, the fifth one diminishes. We all need that positive encourager in our lives, and I am glad I had mine in the form of my Mom. Hugs and thank you for such a valuable post, Elle.

  15. Wow! I love this post, particularly number two. I think it took me so long to follow this rule. It was only after timeless disappointments that I decided to be more guarded in sharing my dreams with others.

    • Elle

      Glad you enjoyed it Jessica. It’s always great to hear that others made new choices in how to live their best life. Kudos to you. 🙂

  16. Awesome Elle and i just wrote in response to the question do you fear aging : No, why put that negativity out into the world, I love my life 🙂
    Those five points if one takes them on board make sure your life will not be full of love, fun, joy and abundance

    • Elle

      Hi Suzie, you are such a bright, shining star in our world…leaving a trail of your positive energy everywhere you go. I thank you for stopping by and leaving some here. 🙂

  17. Hi Elle, great article as always! I love reading your post, people can easily relate to this things and if we just try to see the good in every situation, we will end up with happy, satisfying results. I’ll be sharing this with my colleagues. Thanks.

    • Elle

      Hi Lynne, I’m so happy you stopped by to leave your thoughts and am thrilled you’re sharing my posts with your colleagues. I do hope something resonates and encourages them. 🙂

  18. Get up in the morning, walk to the mirror in the bathroom, look yourself directly in the eye….pause 10 seconds and say a big loud YES!!!!

    • Elle

      Hi Aidan, most definitely like your perspective on the world. I say a big YES to you. 🙂

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