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How To Stay On Track When Things Are Falling Apart
There have been pivotal moments throughout my life when I’ve had to stop and ask myself, what next.
Sometimes the life we had planned slips away, and all the dreams we dreamed vanish into thin air.
I’ve wanted to ask, why me…haven’t we all? But what next is a much better question.
Why me won’t help us in moving ahead, the answer doesn’t matter much anyway; we can’t face down adversity while we’re asking, why me. Just the opposite, chances are we stay put and I doubt that any of us want to sit mourning dead dreams when we could be planting the seeds of new ones.
So we find ourselves at a crossroads, truth be told it can be more like one of those incredibly complicated super interchanges, like spaghetti junction in Birmingham, with it’s massively intertwined roads. Oh yes, that would be Birmingham in England. And yes I’ve been there, and yes it can be complicated.
We want to negotiate these tricky and maybe complex new paths before us with as much ease and grace as we can muster, so here’s a few ways to know we’re on the right track during those major upheavals when everything seems to be falling apart.
You know you’re on track when you can:
1. Ignore the naysayers
There’s always someone who lives with blinkers on, someone who’s placed limitations on their life and their perspective and are perfectly happy for you to join their club. You don’t have to pay attention.
Instead of planting new seeds for new dreams, they’d rather be focused on everything that’s gone wrong, that’s going wrong, and still could go wrong. They’re simply not open to the idea that life expands, that spirit grows and they’re often experiencing lack of love, of joy, of fun and abundance. No need to let their limiting beliefs have any influence on your reality.
As Steve Maraboli says: Don’t think that just because you made it to the next level that the haters and naysayers disappear. Remember, new levels bring new devils.
We stay on track when we can still:
2. Appreciate life
You know that life is the most beautiful thing that ever happened, even when you’re in the doldrums, or awaiting an answer to the question, what next.
You don’t have to wait for the answer to appear before you appreciate what you have right now.
Feeling appreciation is a high vibrational frequency that elevates our spirit. There’s much to be thankful for.
Even in our darkest days, if we look for light we can be sure to find it. And I know what I’m talking about because I’ve been there. Deep in darkness, following a tiny glimmer of light that shimmered way ahead of me.
Being in an appreciative state means we’re giving more attention to what’s great in life. What keeps people stuck on tracks that lead nowhere, is being so busy looking at what’s missing, what they’ve lost, or what was taken away from them that they miss what’s right here, now.
Abundance is built on appreciation. If you want abundance in all things, first of all appreciate life.
We’re definitely on the right track when we:
3. Insist on having fun
If we knew that anything and everything was possible what would we choose to do? We’d probably live a monumental, magnetically brilliant, fun filled life. So why wait. How much fun are you having in your day, this day?
You have unlimited power available to you. Write this down and look at it each day, as a reminder.
What will you do with this unlimited power this very day? Don’t focus on what you can do, focus on what you intend to do. Focus on finding fun and joy in your daily tasks.
So you have a job you don’t like much, find something in it that can become fun. Lighten up your relationships with a little fun. Don’t work so hard, hard isn’t fun. Work smart instead.
Drink deeply from what lifts your heart and spirit and practice enjoying each day.
Create enjoyment in the things you do and the places you go; have a fun filled journey and you’re going to like your destination a whole lot more.
We stay on track when we can honestly say:
4. We’re not concerned with fitting in
We often find ourselves trying to live up to other people’s expectations. We know we’re on the right track when we spend more time cultivating our own way of being in the world than how other’s think we should live our lives.
After my late husband passed away I had to put a few thousand miles between me and those who knew what I should do with the rest of my life. You don’t have to go to such extremes, once you learn your life is exactly that, yours to build in the way you think is best.
Fish don’t fly and chickens don’t usually climb trees and there’s enough diversity and room in this world for us all to live in our own marvellous uniqueness. We’re all expressions of the divine and it doesn’t do for us to express in ways that don’t resonate with our own hearts and souls.
Trying to live up to what another expects of us can mean losing sight of who we truly are and, once that happens, life is no longer in harmony with us. And that never feels good.
Be compassionate and kind with others, but be good to you too.
[Tweet “You matter. Just as you are right now.”]You’re precious and don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.
Knowing you’re on the right track is living mindfully in the knowledge that you’re honouring yourself. And even in the midst of life’s storms you can still make it to your bright future.
[Tweet “It’s always the essence of what we desire that fulfills, rather than the thing itself.”]And by keeping in our mind’s eye the ideas and beliefs that are genuine and heartfelt and paying as little attention as possible to those who would waylay us, or judge us, or determine who we should be, we’ll find ourselves walking a path to a full, rich and happy life.
Sounds like the right track to me.
Check in every now and then just to be sure you’re still on track for fulfilling your dreams, heck just to be sure you still have a dream, especially when the one that was so dear to you is dead and gone.
And we can’t ever, ever, allow the gap between where we are, and where we dream of being, to stop us. Ever.
Your insights and perspectives encourage us all and support us to lead the best life we can imagine so what would you add that speaks to you and lets you know you’re on the right track?
Join in the conversation by leaving a comment and share your brilliance, because you know you rock.
As always bless you for reading and sharing and participating with your comments.
Encourage one another.
Love Elle
xo
After almost a week home sick with laryngitis and a cold, I’ve been terribly challenged to stay positive. It’s so easy to forget what I know and take things personally when I’m not feeling well, and I’m very much appreciating the timing of this post dear Elle.
Thank you!
So sorry you still feeling lousy Sandi and you are so right, when we just aren’t ourselves and our bodies feel dreadful we tend to resist and for myself, it makes me feel worse. I’ve recently learned to just say, okay got the lurgy, feeling lousy, it’s okay, how best can I take care of myself today. And I would put money on it miss Sandi that even feeling less than positive right now, you’re still heading in the direction you’ve chosen. Maybe a little slower than usual, but that can be a good thing too, as I know you know, ‘cos you’re really good at this stuff.
It’s probably the time, that we all need, and seldom take, to recharge, fill yourself with love, safe in the knowledge that at the heart of things, all is well in your world.
Here’s some from me. I’m sending you hugs and love and light for your spirit. Seeing you as your vibrant self dear one 🙂
Perfect timing, because I am in a stage where external is shifting and lots is falling apart. I notice this happens in cycles as I continue to center into practices of presence; that awareness doesn’t make it less painful but, the understanding allows for the experience to be more peaceful than in the past.
I concentrate on allowing the pieces to fall away…to neither cling nor react by pushing something away, but to allow it to fall…and my new practice is not to immediately “fix anything” either, but to allow it to be. To see what arises and/or unfolds naturally. Because sometimes within that pause, there is new possibility…that I couldn’t see or experience if I had rushed through.
Because I believe in manifesting, and the ‘best manifesting energy’ is joy, I find something to be grateful for, and to celebrate, in the moment – even the painful ones. Gratitude and joy shift the energy and open doors…Sometimes people looking in criticize that; I am learning to keep celebrating anyway, because when my heart is happy, life feels good, regardless of external.
Hi Joy and I’m so grateful that you shared your process with us. It’s just beautiful…no surprise really, you’re such a beautiful soul. I totally get the space you’re in and how cyclical it is…the wonderful thing about it is that through experience we know now it’s a leap in consciousness that we’re taking.
And your comment that it’s more peaceful than in the past resonates completely.
I’m glad that you’re just staying on your path regardless of people looking in with critical eyes and your insights that staying in joy and gratitude feels good regardless of what’s going on around you is spot on.
Wonderful comment Joy. I appreciate you. 🙂
Yes “Why Me” long while since I have uttered those words, not even when i had my health trials these past 2 years along with some other challenges. i know there are days when i do hope for a faster change and on the whole I feel blessed by the abundance that surrounds me. If I do get the blues i do appreciate my life and all the magic i do enjoy and do something that as you say is fun or that my heart will whisper thanks Suzie too. ♡
You know how much I admire you Suzie. Your spirit is amazing so it’s no surprise that you pay attention to the abundance in your life even through serious illness. You are a great and wonderful role model for us all. 🙂
Dear Elle,
For me the kernel of this post is ..”Be compassionate and kind with others, but be good to you too. You matter. Just as you are right now. You’re precious and don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.”
Superbly conceived, and phrased.
That’s so true Elle.I’m so glad that there are people like you ,who actually believe what i do too.Yes,each one of us is unique in our existence;and we deserve to be valued for the grandeur we bring to this space and time through us.
The Divine is actually throbbing in our blood vessels every moment,and yet we are preoccupied with trifles that merit no more than a passing glance,at best.
It’s only when we read stuff like your great post here that the awareness deepens.
Thanks for the beauty of your words Elle
Regards
Mona
Hi Mona, you always have such a wonderfully special and uniquely ‘Mona’ take on life and I’m so happy that you share it with the rest of us. Love the concept of trifles meriting no more than a passing glance. Now that is a priceless phrase and oh so true. I’d like to say I never get caught up in trifles, but there are times when I do. The good news is that I leave them behind more quickly than before and now I can laugh at myself for allowing the distractions in.
Theres so much we can learn from each other Mona…another and unique perspective is always valuable and yes, grand. Thank you. 🙂
Powerful thoughts here Elle. Thank you for sharing it. So needed it today…
Hi Vinma, thanks for stopping by and I’m truly happy if my words go a little way in helping your day be as beautiful as you deserve. 😀
It is so easy to get bogged down in negativity when things go wrong. I do try and look at other areas of my life that are good when something bad happens. It helps tremendously.
Hi Poppy, appreciate you taking time to say hello and I’m looking forward to seeing more of you here later this month! Focusing on what is right in life, just ‘feels’ so flipping much better doesn’t it? 😀
Wow! So inspiring! I find as I get older it is much easier to ignore the naysayers and to live my life for me!
Hi Cher and welcome…I absolutely agree with you. We’re so conditioned to fit in, but as we mature, we discover there’s a liberation in being able to choose to express who we are, whilst being mindful of the feelings of others. Great point and thanks for stopping by and sharing your point of view. 🙂
I think it’s very easy to say, “I don’t care about fitting in,” but the fact is that deep down, most of us do. It’s hard to march to your own drummer if you’re the only one marching. It takes guts to go it alone. That said, I think you’re right — if you can find your path and follow it, you’ll be better for it.
Hi Tammy and thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I’ve found that becoming aware of how my life works and how I can make the best of it might be simple…but not always the most comfortable thing in the world. Choosing to be different is probably easier for some than the rest of us. I’ve found the more trust I’ve built and confidence and faith in how I believe life works has made it easier.
And I will confess…I’m far from perfect at this…I have my moments of doubt and fear, even when I’m on the path, but for me, that is part of the path.
It’s always great to hear another perspective, we’re all learning from each other. 🙂
Another article well done, Elle ! Thank you !
You encourage us to “Appreciate life”. That is so incrementally important ! As we slow our worlds to “appreciate life”, our awareness expands and allows us to feel/see/experience the almost overwhelming beauty and abundance that we are immersed in.
You encourage us not to be concerned with “fitting in”. That is so vitally necessary to our further growth and greater expression. My Aunt always told us we were molded by God and not by man. It took me many a year to understand that she meant that we are already perfect in “cultivating of our Being in the world” in contrast to how others think we should Be.
Write on, Elle !
Wow Joseph, love what your aunt said. What a great view of life she must have had. You always bring such interesting concepts to the conversation…love having you stop by. 🙂
Wonderful message here today, Elle. I’ve had times in my life where I’ve had to step back, reevaluate and point myself in a new direction, despite all the helpful suggestions from others. I love your suggestions. We do need to find what works for us and do what it takes to get our lives back on track! Lovely post!!
Hi Cathy and thanks for stopping by. You are spot on, we do need to find what works for us as individuals. And as to your point about stepping back and reevaluating where we are, I’m hopeful this happens to me a lot, because it signifies I’m ready to expand and grow and as you know from your own experiences, we’re all at choice as to how this looks. Even though sometimes we might forget that! 🙂
I am definitely writing down on a post it that I have unlimited power available. I really do prefer to ask what’s next over why me. Why me is a time waster when I can moving on to magnificent things. Everything happens for a reason, right? To get rid of the unnecessary, to make way for the new. Brilliant post Elle.
Hi Rae, just love your attitude here. It’s so easy for us to get caught up in the spiral of events happening around us. If only we’d take a step back and breathe and remember who we are…unlimited beings…with the gift of creating our own little world. Not to say I’m totally brilliant at it yet…but heck I can shift things around sooo much quicker than before, especially negative feelings. 🙂
well heck sis, seems i’ve got this one covered! even today i stopped in the midst of the craziness to have a bit of fun. that along with not needing to fit in, appreciating life and ignoring the naysayers…i’m feeling quite brilliant at the moment. 😀 affirmation that you’re on the right track does good things for the spirit.
Hi Vanita, good for you. One of my friends insists on having fun every single day and it seems to work really well for her. And I think you’re brilliant whatever your doing. 😀
Hi Elle; Thanks so much for sharing what you learned from your struggles. You are right it is often hard to find that little glimmer of light and hope. So sometimes you just have to look longer and harder. You know a lot of people talk about how when God closes a door he opens another one or maybe he opens a window. I think this is a little off. I think it should say that he unlocks a door or window. You still have to be willing to walk up to it and turn the handle and push it open. And i think if you have trouble finding the positive then get a pet or go to a park area and watch the furry critters. When i go outside to the garage to exercise and hear my sweet doggie penny following me to make sure i get there i know at least one person loves me and is showing me they love me. We laugh at her all the time. and scientific studies show that not only is having a pet good but the more depressed or uncertain a person is the greater the physical and emotional health benefits that will be received. And a good novel is just as healthy as a self help book. smile Trust me getting hooked on a good story by a great story teller does wonders. At least it does for me. I don’t stay up all night working on the website any more but I did the other day listening to a stuart woods novel. thanks again for the great posts and take care, max
Hi Max, yet again more wise words from you. I’m so glad Penny takes such good care of you…I remember when I volunteered at hospice they would have a doggy day, with dogs trained to be around those who were ill and it most definitely lifted everyone’s spirit. 🙂
I hardly ever say “why me” because I figure I put myself in the position I’m in, or life just is as life just is. I only have control over so much, and so little. Getting over a negative mood can be difficult, but if you reflect on the good, then you can shift the bad to the backseat, let it ride a while, deal with it, make a plan, then kick it to the curb. Great write up Elle. Timely.
Hi Linda…like the way you put that. Reflecting on the good, and there’s always some, somewhere to be found, most definitely shifts our perspective on life. Love the car analogy. 🙂
“Fish don’t fly and chickens don’t usually climb trees and there’s enough diversity and room in this world for us all to live in our own marvellous uniqueness. We’re all expressions of the divine and it doesn’t do for us to express in ways that don’t resonate with our own hearts and souls.” – Yes. I love this line and your soul!
Hi Jessica, thank you so much for your lovely words. You touch my heart. 🙂