spending-time-aloneLet’s start with a simple question. How happy can you be?  Because that’s the goal in life isn’t it?

Everything you do, everything I do, is ultimately for us to feel happy.

But what if you’re going about it all wrong?  What if you’re totally missing the very thing that allows you to experience everything you desire in this lifetime?

That would be tragic and really not necessary, there’s a way to get you what you need in life; to become more, to have more…more love, joy, peace, success or money.

Spending time alone!

This might be a new idea for you but the richness of life doesn’t come from sticking with the old and familiar.

And spending time alone might be what you need, but…you could be like the millions of people on this planet who hate even the thought.  The fear of being by ourselves, without our friends or family or partners to keep us distracted or feeling safe can be terrifying.

But spending time alone isn’t about being lonely.

When my husband passed away, many years ago now, I soon found how fearful I was about taking on life without a shoulder to lean on, or a hand held out when I stumbled and fell.  It’s natural.  And I felt truly alone.

Alone time, on the other hand, is about rejuvenation, about giving your body and your mind space and nourishment and it turns out it be amazingly rewarding.

So what do you stand to gain? 

Here’s 9 reasons spending time alone is just what you need.

1. Space

Space is needed for those ‘eureka’ or ‘aha’ moments.  Have you noticed that you only get them when you stop being so busy?  When you give yourself the gift of spending time by yourself?

They’re important because:

[socialpug_tweet tweet=”A moment’s aha is worth a lifetime of experiences. ” display_tweet=”A moment’s aha is worth a lifetime of experiences. “]

Your alone time creates a doorway for miracles to walk through and it’s something to be nurtured and cherished.

2. Energy increase


increasing energyYou’ve dealt with so much and done the best that you could. Sometimes life is amazing and sometimes it’s awful.

Spending time alone is an opportunity to notice who and what your energy increases and decreases around. The most challenging thing in life isn’t being aware of those who don’t understand you, it’s recognizing where you don’t understand yourself.

Your awareness of your energy increasing or decreasing is a huge universal hint that it’s time to shut some things and some people out.

3. Access to the magic

The magic that makes things better is in you; hidden behind all the noise and distractions of daily living. 

Underneath the ongoing text or email messages, the incessant ringing of the phone or people needing your attention lies your inner magic.  It’s in your thinking, in your creativity, in your peacefulness.  Within it lies the key to your more wonderful future.  I challenge you to take the necessary alone time and re-connect with your inner magic.

4. True listening

Within you is a voice that doesn’t use words.

Your body responds to food and drink, but your heart and soul need nourishment and when you truly lose yourself in the act of deep listening you will eventually find you no longer allow the reality of your current life to interfere with what your inner self tells you is possible.

As you become more skilled at listening you’ll find it easier to stop letting the opinions and noise from others drown out the real you. This is one of the paths to deep inner peace, well-being and success.

5. The quickest cure to overwhelm


overwhelmIt would be ridiculous if your body was to do it’s own thing without your consent: without your decision to move it and yet we allow our minds to do their own thing…sometimes seething with thoughts of anger, worrying about something that may never happen or even running through a laundry list of resentments. 

No-one else can choose the thoughts you think, no-one else occupies a space in your head unless you allow it. Don’t allow it.  You desire happiness – who doesn’t? So make sure your body and your mind take instructions from you naturally and you’ll create happiness for yourself.

Start now, so you’ll never have to live a life you didn’t want.

6. A fully fledged life

The true value of life is its beauty, its intensity, its vitality, and a basic requirement for being connected to a fully fledged life is feeling peaceful and knowing joy. 

But far too often we don’t have the time.  So busy are we with the expectations of others, or their opinions of who we are and what we’ve done that we simply aren’t able to take the steps we need to take to fulfill our destinies. 

You deserve to be happy. Turn off the outside voices that distract you from your heartfelt desires and turn on your inner voice, the one that leads you to living life to the full and enjoying every moment.

7. Boost to your happiness

Sometimes I think truly happy people are often born that way.  But I’ve also noticed that happy people allow themselves to be happy and unhappy people keep on doing the same things that upset them every time. 

It’s far to easy to have your mind so full of what’s happening around you in this moment, that there’s no room for the things that really matter to you.

When you take a step back and free yourself from the dictates of life you give yourself an opportunity to think about the pleasant things in your life…because you choose too.

Then some day you’ll be able to say “I lived joyfully, with moments of self-discovery and turned work into play.  I learned to live MY life.”

8. An awesome reality check

When you sit down and think about where you started you can then begin to appreciate what you’ve accomplished.

Most of us will never become satisfied with our life, even when we accomplish our goals, because we soon forget every success we’ve had. 

[socialpug_tweet tweet=”Some people never see the victories only the losses in life” display_tweet=”Some people never see the victories only the losses in life”]

Taking the time to be aware, truly aware, that the negative image you’ve created in your mind about who you are isn’t the reality is a boon to your future success and happiness.

9. Searchlight of contemplation

“What we plan in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action.” So said Meister Eckhart a German philosopher. 

Having the time to contemplate opens up a whole new world.

Your perspective on life grows stronger as you use contemplation like a searchlight to discover more of what is meaningful to you. 

Contemplation can be as little as 5 minutes or up to 10.  Discipline your mind to focus on anything that inspires you and you’ll discover a deep understanding of what’s working in your life and what isn’t, so that you can make the changes to discover more of life’s wonders in this lifetime.

Final Thoughts

As Master Oogway in Kung Fu Panda said:  “Your mind is like the water. When it is agitated it becomes difficult to see, but when you let it settle, the answer becomes clear.”

This is a vital life lesson for us all!  Spending time alone gives you this chance.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle




Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. I love my alone time. I totally agree with using the searchlight to discover more in the space of contemplation. Master Oogway is certainly very wise!

    • Hi Evelyn…I will say I had to learn to love it…but now…I cherish it and nurture it and make it a high priority in my life because I love the rewards it brings. 🙂

  2. Love this Elle especially making magic- Yes it does raise you happiness quota as long as you have learned to fully love you- 🙂

    • Hi Suzie…maybe alone time can serve as a catalyst to love oneself. Simply the energy of focusing on what feels good and the happy side of life is such an incredible energy that our bodies, minds and spirits get dosed in love of the highest kind. 🙂

  3. “Your mind is like the water. When it is agitated it becomes difficult to see, but when you let it settle, the answer becomes clear.”

    So true. The keys to calm and happy are in our minds. Got to love advice from a cartoon panda!

    • Cartoon characters sometimes say the most profound things. Gotta love it. It’s always about the mind Debbie and what we’re doing with it. 🙂

  4. Dear Elle, I find all of these are true for me. Alone time is like food to me. I feel like I’m entering into a period of more solid right now and look forward to all these benefits.

    • That’s so lovely Sandra…alone time is like food. I know just what you mean…it nourishes the soul. May your soul be filled with love and peace and harmony this year. 🙂

  5. Ah, alone time is such a great restorative and is so energizing. For me, it’s definitely the lack of input, I’ll paint, draw, build something out of wood or garden in those precious hours or even minutes but feel like I’ve just woken from a 12 hour uninterrupted sleep. You’re so right Elle, our inner voice doesn’t use words, that’s why it’s so important to find the time to let it ‘speak’ to us. I’ve added this post to my bookmarks bar to come back and back to, thank you.

    • Hi Laura…I love the way you restore and renew yourself. The very idea of gardens fill me with joy…I’d love to see your art or woodwork one of these days. You sound extremely talented. As always thanks for stopping by. We always appreciate your thoughts. 🙂

  6. Hi Elle,

    I have just returned from Gibraltar Airport where my wife has just flown back to UK for a couple of days work and visiting her girlfriends. I kidded her that she was leaving me all on my own.

    You see we spend most of the summer on our boat exploring the European coast and most of the winter hear in Spain hibernating from the UK cold winter. So we spend a lot of time together.

    However,I do enjoy the time on my own, just doing what I want to do, when I want to do it and how I want to spend it.

    I write about Time on my blog and in my book “The Myth of TIme Management” and in this modern world we rarely get a chance to spend time on ourselves.

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