Do you wake up each day with an optimistic heart and an expectant soul?
Does a day filled with richness, happiness and even a high sense of anticipation await?
Or do you have a lifestyle that is nothing to write home about, a job you tolerate and a relationship that’s going nowhere?
Hand on heart, what’s really going on in your life, because it’s sending you a message.
When you’re alone who are being? Do you often feel like a victim?
Are you always on the look out for who’s doing you wrong, or who’s doing right by you?
Be honest. Do you have a bit of a victim mentality. Where life is more about what someone said to you, or about you, then it is about you and how awesome you are.
Life is all about choices. If you’re not experiencing that optimistic heart and expectant soul, look no further than the image you hold of yourself.
Your self-concept is the foundation of your life experiences. And it’s set like a thermostat.
Your experience of Life
We experience life at the setting of our self-concept and if happier, bigger things happen…never fear…before too long you’ll be back where you started, if a victim mentality is running your view of life.
Of course you don’t want to be back where you started…who does?
So maybe, just maybe it’s time you took a look at how to shatter a victim mentality and reclaim your power.
Your self-image works like this:
If you think like a leader you act like one and you have experiences that reflect that belief. If you’re less than certain of your capabilities, your results mirror your doubts right back to you.
Ever noticed that? Of course you have, we all have.
I don’t know if this is still the way of things, but back in the day, most British kids would take a year off before going to University. They’d usually travel, sometimes as far afield as India, sometimes a hop, skip and a jump across the English Channel to France or somewhere in Europe.
The intent was to ‘find themselves.’
Who the heck are you?
It’s been said so much better than I can say it, that we need to know ourselves. And this is a life truth for us all.
But we don’t need to take a year off to find out who we are, we can see it oh so clearly in our life experiences.
It’s not easy to hear I know, but Life with a capital L is always, always all about us.
Now might be a good time to begin to discover the uniqueness of you. Take a look at your gifts and talents, your qualities, your passions, the things you enjoy. Even take a look at your weaknesses. You and you alone have this particular mix of qualities.
Your individual make up is how you were created to be of service to the world.
You and you alone can enrich humanity in your own unique way. No one else can ever bring what you do to the world. How great is that?
You were never meant to live life as a victim of every untoward happening and you don’t have to, once you find a way to alter your self-concept.
Awareness of how you see yourself is the starting point.
If you’re not waking up full of the joys of spring, well for most mornings, but you slouch out of bed with a heavy heart and head out to a life you simply tolerate, then it’s time to alter your concept of self, since it’s the master creator of your current life experience. We’re not victims in life, we’re power brokers.
Self-worth v self-esteem
The concept we have of ourselves is about the value we place on ourselves, about our sense of self-worth rather than self-esteem, even though both are powerful tools for living a life filled with joy and love and wisdom.
Self esteem tends to be based on something we’ve done, rather than someone we are. It’s an outer recognition of some skill or prowess we have. Lose the skill or prowess and what happens to that esteem?
Self-worth on the other hand is an inside job without which we’re never truly capable of believing in our abilities, in our very selves.
And without a sense of our own worth, the esteem of others is a hard thing to receive.
Why? Because we can’t believe we’re actually worthy of anyone’s esteem. Isn’t that sad?
The ultimate goal for shattering a victim mentality is:
To believe in yourself.
To believe that you have the ability to contribute to your life, your world, your society, however seemingly insignificant you think your contribution might be.
The principle of contributing is what counts here, not the size of it. We can never know the ripple effect we create from one tiny gesture.
So many of us waste our time reflecting on the things that aren’t going well, or one of my least favourite things, the lessons we had to learn. Ugh. Not in my world missy.
What does this ‘failure review’ do for us. Oh great, it continues to condition our subconscious with defeat, or guilt, or sadness or lack. Not exactly helpful for assuming a different self-concept.
Don’t let life be like this for you.
Just as you can condition your subconscious for more defeats and victimhood, you can equally condition it into any habit you choose by the awareness and practice of these four basic laws:
1. You are and become what you focus on.
2. What you focus on appears real because it’s reflected back to you via your experiences.
3. What you focus on grows.
4. You always see and find what you focus on.
Okay I said four basic laws but I added an extra one:
Choose to assume your brilliance dear ones. Enjoy feeling good about yourself, focus on how fabulous you are and you’ll be vibrating with the energy of self-worth.
Open your eyes. See yourself as the great and magnificent being you truly are and you help all of us.
Reclaim the gift you’ve been given to create a wonderful life. What’s the use of getting a gift and not opening it.
Let your light SHINE.
We often learn best by sharing our own life experiences. Have you replaced your victim mentality, or are there times when it manages to pull you back in?
Join us in the comments, I’m excited to hear your views.
As always thank you soooo much for reading and sharing, little light givers you.
Encourage one another.