[success]A genius is simply one who has taken full possession of his own mind and directed it toward objectives of his own choosing, without permitting outside influences to discourage or mislead him. ~ Napoleon Hill[/success]

How would life be different if you had an unshakeable belief in yourself?

How would life be different if you accepted each new day as a fresh start and stopped telling yourself the same limiting story you told yourself yesterday?

Life gives you second chances with each new day, but your addiction to reality will always get in your way. If you’re willing to look at where you are versus where you want to be, you can begin to live a richer, more full and expansive life.

How to know if you’re addicted to reality

You’re addicted to reality if you’re unable to direct your focus on what you want because all your attention is focused on what you don’t want.

The evidence of the reality of the world can be overwhelming.  No matter.  Let go.  Stop being in a permanent state of readiness for what ‘might’ come next. Stop being afraid that if you take your eye off the ball something might hit you from left field.

It’s your birthright to be happy and it is your obligation to believe in yourself, to express yourself in a way that brings you joy; by doing so you are making an indispensable contribution to the world we live in.

Until you see yourself and the world in a different light, it’s certain that you’ll keep missing the target.

As Einstein said, ‘reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one.’ 

Your current reality is dependent on you to keep it alive…be willing to suspend disbelief for long enough to create space for something new to appear. You’re either a participant in your dreams or a bystander, the choice is yours.

Begin here, begin now, it’s the only starting point you have.

Take an inventory

Are you happy?

Do you experience joy in your days?

Are you fulfilling your desires, easily and having fun?

Do you feel good about who you are?

Is your life experience mostly great?

Do you have balance, beauty and love?

Are you healthy and fit?

Can you handle challenges easily, with equanimity?

Are you confident in your capabilities?

Have you taken the time to decide what you’re here to do?

Goals as growth

You are an ever evolving work in progress.

You won’t always be right and not everyone will love you. Many won’t agree with the path you choose or the desires that fill your heart. Don’t waste your time trying to change their minds.

Unless they reflect you at your best, they’re wrong. You are designed for greatness, to live your purpose, to shine your light and reveal the magnificence within. You must believe in yourself and allow the rest to fall into place.

By investing your time in growing you, in cultivating an unshakeable belief in yourself, you connect to the invincible power that created the world and the grip of your current reality is loosened. Become addicted to your personal growth.

To become better at anything we have to practice

Before Tiger Woods won his first championship at the age of 18, he’d already practiced for sixteen years.

Athletes of all stripes, musicians, or great chess players, need much more than theory to become great. They have to practice. To make the most of life and reveal our greatness, we have to continually upgrade our habits and practice new ways to operate in the world.

Your shelves might be filled with books that tell you ‘how’ to accomplish anything, but without your participation and application, nothing changes.  You can read a book on how to fly a plane, but it doesn’t make you a pilot.

You absolutely can develop new beliefs, a different self image, and heal the wounds from the past, but as with all things of value, it takes time, awareness and practice.

All those attempts to change your body, your relationships, your experiences with money or success are never going to work until you learn to change the shape of your thoughts.

Regardless of how high we might fly in any given moment, our success setting will always drag us back to earth unless and until we create a new one. And that takes practice.

Using affirmations

The purpose of affirmations is to create a habit of thought. And just in case you think using affirmations might not come naturally to you, just notice how often you tell yourself something is ‘hard’ or ‘it’s just the way things are‘ or ‘I can’t do this‘ or ‘this is never going to work‘.

And how many times have those affirmations become your reality?

You’re a natural.

Because affirmations are self-fulfilling prophecies, you have to practice affirming uplifting, encouraging words.

Using the power to affirm whatever it is that you choose, puts you in conscious control of your thoughts. Having belief in yourself stems from one thing, thinking you are worthwhile and valuable. And then mentally repeating this idea to yourself as often as possible in your daily inner chatter until it’s become a part of your belief system.

When you repeat phrases to yourself over and over, your subconscious eventually accepts them as true…be they positive or negative. You’re focusing the creative power of the universe. It’s a relatively simply way to reprogramme your setting for success, love, health, or wealth.

An amazing thing happens when you begin paying attention to your relationship with yourself you breathe life into it. Love and respect yourself and others will do the same.

You’re in control of your thinking, in the choices you make.  Dare to believe you have something inside of you that’s infinitely more powerful than any experience. Dare to believe in you.

In the comments below tell us the one thing you’re willing to do to to change the way you see yourself. Is there a shift in attitude you need to have or a new practice you’re ready to put in place?

As always thank you for reading and commenting and if this post was helpful for you, share it with your friends.  I’d really appreciate it.

Encourage one another

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Dear Elle, As soon as I read this headline (brilliant, as yours always are), I thought, “absolutely.” I even pass the inventory quite well, even though I know I have plenty of space to still grow. My aspiration is to spend more time in the present moment, letting go of any self-doubt that comes my way. Thanks for the encouragement, Elle.

    • Elle

      Thank you Sandra…and how cool that you own inventory section. Kudos to you. Being present is key isn’t it. I’ve been practicing gratitude in each moment, for each task or experience…it somehow helps me to practice. 🙂

  2. We never stop growing Elle, it’s a choice we make to continue to grow each day and to make the choice to change. Why do we hold our self back? Your title of this post says it all. . What I am willing to do is to truly share my gifts with the world , to create change for my life and others. Big trust issue that what I am putting out is Dare I say it “Good enough”. Well that is what your post brought up for me. Now back to the execution thanks xx

    • Elle

      And Suzie what brilliant gifts you have. Your art speaks to my soul, it’s so very beautiful. I definitely have an unshakeable belief in you…you might as well join me! 🙂

  3. Ah, glad I saw this tonight, Elle – so timely. Although I’ve been using affirmations for years and have found them powerful, your post is a great reminder that it’s time to create new ones that reflect my life as it is today. I’m facing new and exciting challenges, and with that, self-doubt can come creeping in. Time to reinforce what I DO want to bring about rather than focus on old limiting beliefs.

    Thanks so much, Elle!

    • Elle

      Hi Christine, nice to see you. Funny how we’re so unaware that we’re affirming things to ourselves all day long. Now it’s just about getting back to being conscious affirmers. What is it do you suppose that stops us? You’ve been doing affirmations and presumable having great success with them and then what? Did you stop? And if you did, do you know why? I’m really trying to get a handle on what it is that moves us away from a successful way of living. 🙂

      • Hmmm… what stops us? Good question. My original affirmation, which was inspired by Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life” years ago, was “I love and approve of myself exactly as I am.” I repeated it so often that it still beautifully (and automatically) pops up when my inner critic starts to get a bit nasty. It was transformational for me and helped me realize that I CAN shape my thoughts. For me, I guess it’s not so much that I’ve stopped doing affirmations, it’s more that I haven’t focused lately on creating new ones to reflect the life I’m growing into. And that’s something I intend to do sooner rather than later, so that I continue to grow and stretch myself while feeling empowered rather than fearful.

        How about you? Do you often “refresh” your affirmations? Would love to hear your thoughts. 🙂

        • Elle

          I remember that affirmation Christine. I used it myself for a long time. How interesting to hear your insights and the idea that we need to keep updating them as we evolve and grow. It’s so true. And yes, I do refresh my affirmations. I haven’t used the Louise Hay one for a long time, though as you say it’s a great standby. With each growth spurt my focus and desires shift a little, so new affirmations are always making their way into my world. It’s a powerful tool for me. 🙂

  4. Your current reality is dependent on you to keep it alive…be willing to suspend disbelief for long enough to create space for something new to appear. You’re either a participant in your dreams or a bystander, the choice is yours.

    This is so true. We are who we think ourselves into being.

    • Elle

      Hi Damyanti, thanks for stopping by and sharing your insights. Most of the great philosophers over the centuries have tried to tell us that we are what we think about, and still we go about our business as though our thoughts are totally disconnected from our reality. Why do you think that is? 🙂

  5. Thanks Elle for your very insightful and uplifting article. The main reason, why so many people (especially in the western world) find themselves in an almost constant state of unhappiness, agitation, frustration, lack of confidence… is, because they look at their life and ALWAYS find something that is wrong with it.

    There could be a bit more success, maybe more money, a slimmer body, a prettier face, more appreciation, a more loving relationship… And, of course, they constantly compare themselves with others who are on a completely different journey (and who are surely facing their own challenges)…

    Right now – IF you let go of all those limiting beliefs and expectations of “a better life”, there is joy and happiness, there is the possibility to feel really great – no matter what your current circumstances may be.

    Jut dive into this natural feeling of joy, allow it to be without distorting it with all kinds of limiting beliefs and life unfolds in its most magnificent way – completely on its own.

    Like a balloon naturally and effortlessly reaches new heights if you let go of it, so will life constantly pull you towards new highs and wonders – if you let go of those limiting beliefs, simply enjoy your Beingness in the now and keep on acting what excites you most.

    • Elle

      Wise words indeed Robert. Living in the here and now in joy without the distractions of what everyone else is doing or has would make all the differences to our life experience. You are very poetic Robert…I really enjoy the way you put your phrases together and thanks for sharing them and bringing more light to us all. 🙂

    • Hi Robert,
      I definitely agree with you there ;we all are too willing to “deflate ” our balloon and stop it from flying high.We compare ourselves too much with others and miss out on living our lives .We are too engrossed with searching out things that are not right in our lives.
      Thanks for the insight

  6. Hi Elle,

    Lovely post. I particularly like the idea of Using affirmations to create the world that you want. The inventory is interesting and I feel that I’m doing well in more areas. For me when I try something new is where I need to buckle up and believe in myself! Thanks for the wonderful post!

    • Elle

      I think you’re speaking for me too Cathy! Did you read my mind? Maybe if we started each new venture with the thought, ‘what if everything was easy’ instead of whatever fear thoughts we bring to the project, we might find belief a lot easier. It’s worth a try. It’s a great affirmation to use. 🙂

  7. The point that most resonated with me in this post is using affirmations. I used to think this is corny when I was a kid, but I’m now seeing the benefits. Plus, many successful people condone doing so.

    I don’t tell myself every day, but I write them down in my book where I can see all the time. Affirmations are a great way of utilizing the power of the subconscious.

    I love this one by Napoleon Hill.
    “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

    • Elle

      Funny Jeremy I know there are a lot of folk out there who see affirmations as a complete waste of time. But as you say, they’ve been a very useful component in successful experiences. And since we learned so much via affirmations that have now become a solid part of our belief system, it makes sense to me. Not only that, but I find them to work really well in my own life. Napoleon Hill was brilliant. 🙂

  8. Hi Elle,

    What a wonderful post! You really are such an inspirational writer, my friend. I just love the messages you share.

    I really needed to read this post. Soon, I’m going to be moving from coaching to training groups of people. Overall, I’ve been confident and am looking forward to the new experience. However, a part of me is a little nervous. I’m going to remember what you’ve wrote in your post about the importance of practice and use these training experiences as opportunities to develop my skills in this area.

    Many thanks, Elle.

    • Elle

      Thanks Hiten, I’m truly glad you enjoy the posts. It sounds as though you’re headed for a wonderful life adventure,kudos to you dear friend. It’s always great to hear about growth in any form and if you didn’t feel a little nervous then the change wouldn’t be big enough for you…it’s usually the sign you need that you’re stretching yourself. Many congrats. 🙂

  9. Hi elle; while reading this i was thinking of how there are things i tell other people that i haven’t really believed in my hart and how i need to change that. I often tell potential clients about the size of my network and how i believe i can help them sell their items or find that one specific piece of equipment they are looking for. well today i sent out an email asking for help with a question about the cost of relocating a roller coaster I’m working to sell. I didn’t think i would actually find a buyer, but behold i have had a total of three people from my email or my social media posts show interest in buying the ride. People like me and they often want to help me. I work hard and deal honestly. But i need to have more appreciation for what i have built so far and how much i am able to help people because of all the past efforts at building relationships and growing my email list and social network followings. Thanks for reminding me its not just actions but you have to do all three think speak and do like you are that beautiful creation God intended you to be. thanks so much and take care, max

    • Elle

      Hi Max, I’m glad that you’re beginning to acknowledge your accomplishments. It’s all too easy to just move on without awareness of what we’ve done and we’re leaking success when we do that. Imagine if someone gave you a gift and you opened it up and put it away with no acknowledgement. How many more gifts do you think you’d be given? And yes, you’re a beautiful creation my friend. 🙂

      • hi elle; It helps to think of God as a loving parent. And whether its our parents friends spouse boss etc; no one wants to give a gift and have you go awe well thanks and then put it away. so yes i need to be more grateful and acknowledge my gifts more often and more whole heartedly. Lorraine reguly and i have a post coming out soon on her new site. I think you are going to love it. I promised not to share it, so all i can say is its very honest maybe even a little too honest but that’s who i am and that’s what I’m going to keep going with. thanks for being such a beautiful reminder of who we are and what we were put here to be. take care, max

        • Elle

          Hi Max, you always have some super insight and perspective to offer and I’m grateful to you. Thanks as always. 🙂

  10. I love that quote and didn’t even know it existed, thanks.

    Elle, I’m so with you about trying to change people’s mind. If it makes you happy that’s all you should be concerned with. Not everyone is going to understand and you should be okay with that. You have to in order to be truly happy.

    I used to undermind myself but since acknowledging and changing my self-talk. Now not only do performing better but I have more energy. I was draining myself mentally and physically.


    • Elle

      How wonderful Lea that you’ve moved into the state where your inner chatter is more encouraging…isn’t it amazing the benefits it brings. 🙂

  11. Hi Ellie,

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with this post. I enjoyed reading it.

    Having experienced negativity for so long, it has been a gradual process for me in shedding old patterns that no longer serve me. I have been learning to step up more and more. You are right. Regular affirmation work is very helpful! And so is practice!

    • Elle

      One of the things I love about the comments I get Evelyn is to hear how so many have moved from a state that didn’t serve them very well, to one of more positivity. Well done you. I know it isn’t achieved without effort. And as you say affirmations are a great tool to change those negative ways of being. Wonderful you. 🙂

  12. Hi Elle,
    You are truly gifted Elle.Reading your posts has become serious business for me lately.Because i always come away feeling uplifted,enlightened and brighter.This one is par excellence.This phrase is magnificent “An amazing thing happens when you begin paying attention to your relationship with yourself you breathe life into it.”
    I agree with Hiten above.You are really a very inspiring writer.The way you sequence your thoughts makes very good impact on thirsty minds.
    Thanks a lot

    • Elle

      Hi Mona, I’m falling a bit behind in responding to comments, to my shame! Thank you for taking the time to stop by and leave a comment, and I’m touched by your kind words. It’s so gratifying to write words that uplift in some small way. Thank you. 🙂

  13. Elle,

    I absolutely love the “addicted to reality” aspect of this piece! You are so right — are we focusing on what we really want — what we really desire? Or, are we yearning for something to the point where all we can really focus on is what it is that we lack or don’t have. It’s really difficult to pick through it and make that distinction sometimes. Excellent as usual! Thanks for the wisdom!

    • Elle

      Hi Victor, you make a good point Victor, sometimes it’s a challenge to pick through what’s happening. I find if I focus on something else for a while with the intention of having clarity when I return to the topic, it helps a lot. 🙂

  14. Oh…how different our lives would be if we only knew that we could never fail. 😀
    I recently came to the realisation that what I needed to affirm was that ‘I am worthy of all the best that life has to offer me’

    • Elle

      What a great affirmation Li-ling. Anything that we repeat to ourselves with feeling gets a response from our subconscious mind and before too long it moves into action bringing those very best things to you. Gotta love the way life works. 🙂

Pin It