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Let’s talk about that fear that we never talk about…or at least not very much. It’s the fear of being rejected.
And it’s one of the most limiting beliefs you can have.
Yet, sadly, it’s one we all share to some degree or another.
It keeps you from asking for help, asking someone to go out with you, asking for a raise and gets in the way of you living the best life possible.
You might be yearning for something, but the fear that going after it will end in you being rejected, will trigger the belief that there’s something deeply wrong with you.
This is so not true and I’m calling bullshit on this fear right now and am offering you a different perspective.
1. So what if you’re told no!
You asked for something. And the response was “no”. So flipping what? Why would this hurt you so much? And believe me, I know that it does…I’ve felt it myself.
It hurts because it reminds us that we actually don’t believe we were worthy of getting what we wanted. This, dear ones, is a truly ugly and undeserving truth.
Turn it around, use these powerful emotions as fuel to inspire you to open the next chapter of your life story.
2. That’s all well and good…but
I still didn’t get what I wanted.
Sometimes we are so focused on how we’ll get something, or who can bring it into our lives that we entirely miss the point. It’s our state of consciousness that determines what flows into or out of our life.
Other people and events are just the conduits through which our desires flow, and the fact that one person said “No” doesn’t mean that you’ll never get what you truly want. Because every desire we have is ultimately about being happy and maybe the happiness in store for you is even greater than what you were asking for.
Stop making other people responsible for what comes into your life and you’ll discover that your feeling of being rejected starts to lose it’s power.
3. Give up end of the world thinking
Even if it feels like the end of the world is nigh when someone says “No” or doesn’t respond at all, or events conspire against us. It really isn’t.
Yet by rehashing things over and over in our minds we can easily magnify our irrational fear of the outcome. And by so doing put our happiness in the hands of external stimuli.
Remember that no-one and no-thing has the ability to create discontent and frustration within us. We manage that very nicely by ourselves!
One thing is for certain, if you give too much power to someone or something other than yourself, you become their prisoner.
So never allow anything outside of you to steal your joy of life.
4. Fear of being rejected depends solely on one thing
Most of the time most of us don’t need the naysayers or those who reject us to mess up our life. We do a pretty good job of it for ourselves.
Ever noticed how often people tell you how they don’t want to feel and what they don’t want to happen? But at some point we need to put our attention on what we do want to feel, and what we do want to happen.
Whether you get what you want or not, whether you climb that highest mountain or not, at the very least you deserve a life of happiness.
And if you were naturally happy from within, then being rejected would hardly matter.
That’s the shift that needs to happen to stop allowing rejection to get the best of you.
5. Check your tendencies
Because the very thing we fear is often the thing we experience, look carefully at your expectations and beliefs.
Sometimes we get fixated on the ideas that certain people will reject us so we become defensive beforehand, to protect ourselves from what we fear.
But all you’re doing is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy which, eventually brings about the feared rejection, that might never have been there in the first place. And then of course you get to believe you were ‘right’ all along.
When you feel rejected its far too easy to assume that it’s YOU that’s being rejected. Your character, your values, your very being.
Take a look at how this might be working in your life and how your reactions and fears might be influencing your behavior. And then take a stand and practice rejecting your beliefs. Notice I said your beliefs, not YOU.
Bear in mind that the whole Universe is set up on the premise that you deserve to live an incredibly beautiful and happy life. And it wants to give it to you. So are you ready to say yes?
This is going to be so brilliant. Fear of rejection? What rejection?
Encourage one another.