At thirteen I was smitten…not in the usual sense with some handsome, but still pimply schoolboy. I was smitten with a girl! Jill was all the things I wasn’t, amusing, confident, gregarious and most of all she had the best shoes and clothes I’d ever seen. Yep, that’s teenage me…shallow.
I wanted to be Jill. I was painfully shy, hadn’t learned the laws of life my Mum kept patiently repeating to me, and I didn’t have a funny bone in my body.
One day Jill let me borrow a pair of her oh so cool shoes. Heaven had knocked on my door. I never wanted to give them back because I looked more like Jill when I wore them. Oh deary, deary me.
I’m not certain if I thought wearing Jill’s shoes would suddenly turn me into an outgoing, funny girl…but it didn’t. I remained Elle, wearing someone else’s shoes.
If I’d been able to hear what my Mum was trying to tell me, I’d have realized that attempting to look like Jill in order to become like her was a bit like putting racing silks on a donkey and expecting to win the Grand National. The laws of consciousness can only work with the material they have, and I didn’t get to use someone else’s material by borrowing their clothes.
Living in two worlds as we do, we think we can become like those we admire by doing what they do. We can’t…it won’t work for us because our inner world of cause is arranged in an entirely different way. If our core beliefs are in conflict with what we want to happen, or who we want to be, we can never get the results we want.
And we stick to those old beliefs like glue…but this is what’s happening in my life…how do I make myself believe something that’s not true?
Wail, wail, and gnashing of teeth. Would you hear me if I said, ever so quietly…they’re just beliefs. Maybe not right now?. Not ready to let them go? They’ve been such good friends for so long, nurturing and comforting and seeing you through all the tough times. Not quite. They’re responsible for a bunch of those not so good times. And yet, hang on to them we do.
Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t become so entrenched in your old beliefs that you continue to let them hold you back.
Everything is possible for you. You have a partner in your success. Your sub-conscious mind is designed to follow your lead. Whatever you tell it, whatever you believe…it happily accepts, and brings to you a powerful new you, or the successful new experience you desire.
But just as you can’t use a new computer programme until you install it, nor can you use a consciousness you haven’t yet installed. Everything exists in our world as a mere possibility, until we hit that install button.
The ability to install new beliefs into the sub-conscious mind is all we need. And for that, we just require a little time and a little persistence. Well okay, sometimes a lot of persistence.
Encourage one another.
Love Elle.
xoxo
More great reads on the world wide web:
Alex Blackwell ~ A Simple Path To Showing Love in Every Language
Tess Marshall ~ 10 Things to do When You Can’t Calm Down
10 Comments
Thank you Elle-I needed to hear this
And I needed to hear your comment. Thank you Miriam.
As humans, I think we have a tendency to follow the pack. Even though we have the potential to go our own way, the fears that have been haunting us since the beginning of time are difficult to face, conquer, and toss to the side.
Dear Elle,
Thank you for your wisdom. A few moments before coming on to your site I signed an online petition sent by a friend regarding the NY Federal Reserve Board and Jamie Dimon.
For a brief moment I considered refraining from signing as I could not be sure if I would be safe in doing this.
But life has taught me to be authentic, and so I had to stick my neck out and do it. In my adolescence I do not think I would have done this, but life has made me into a “Jill” so I must now do what is right by myself — regardless of the consequences.
What a beautiful blog you gave us today. Thank you.
— Allan
I’ve grown into the realisation Allan that if we always choose *love* and not *fear* then all is well in our world. So as I fill myself with love each and every day guess what happens…it’s odd I know…but more things to love appear in my world. 🙂
This is a great schoolroom for that Glynis and I turn to where I always turn, to love. Love for you, love for me, love for all.
Elle…
How I can identify with you wearing your friends shoes and thinking doing so would make you more like her (did you read the Jennifer Weiner book about sisters, shoes, and love?)
How many times I wore certain designer clothes because someone I thought was beautiful/successful/etc. wore them. Thank goodness, I was able to ‘catch myself’ and outgrow it. (most of the time).
Thanks for a fun and thoughtful post. 🙂 Fran
Isn’t that funny Fran. I laughed out loud to hear your story – it’s all the same stuff. And no, I haven’t even heard of Jennifer Weiner’s book, but now I’ve got to go and read it…sounds like funny experiences of this sort abound. And having a sister myself, I bet I can relate. Thank you for the tip.
And thanks for sharing your story with us. Sounds like we’re definitely not alone. 🙂
That was pretty thought provoking especially considering I thought it was just going to be an article about shoes. It’s true that most of us want to be like successful people we see around us. We can’t simply imitate the things on the outside that we see though. This won’t lead to any true success. We must change our mindset and what we fundamentally believe about our own worth and value in the world.
Thanks for stopping by Gipsy. I totally agree with what you say, if we’re going to imitate anyone, it should be their mindset not the actions they take. 🙂