Moving Beyond Discomfort.

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[success]Comfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort. ~ Peter McWilliams[/success]

Have ever found yourself in a state of discomfort?

I’m not talking about physical discomfort, more the kind that swells from deep within and reaches into every aspect of your life.  Where you feel odd.  You’re not yourself.  You feel squiggly.  Something doesn’t fit.  You don’t feel like you.

Have you ever been there and wondered what the heck…or words even stronger.  Not being a cursing woman myself I don’t quite have the vocabulary.  Not that I’ve anything against cursing…it sounds great coming from someone else.  But for some reason any time I’ve tried it, people snort with laughter, apparently it doesn’t sound right. Oh well.

It lasted two weeks.  Not the cursing state, the state of discomfort.

It didn’t even begin slowly.  It just arrived one day.

At first I didn’t know what was happening.  I wasn’t depressed, I still laughed and had fun, but somewhere deep within was this sense of…something.  I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Couldn’t even give it a name.

I tried.  Hard.

Was I scared, or worried, or upset, or insecure?.  Didn’t think so…but I supposed I could be.

What had I been thinking.  No idea.  And anyway, I wasn’t thinking the same thought for two whole weeks.  I’m pretty good at monitoring where I am and if I’m off track, getting myself right back to focusing on what I want.

Not this time.  It didn’t much matter what I was thinking…the discomfort just sat there.  Like some bump on a log…sitting…doing nothing…but being.

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I know what it feels like to be standing on the edge of a huge chasm, wondering if today’s the day I leap.  And it wasn’t that.  I know what it’s like to be in the void, waiting…waiting for a new state of consciousness to be birthed.  And it wasn’t that.

I was flummoxed.

I didn’t like it.  It didn’t feel good.  It was different and I wasn’t embracing it.

Try as I might to experience something different, I was held captive by discomfort.  My understanding of the laws of life were colliding with what was happening within.  Whatever the heck it was.

One week led into the other, with discomfort my constant companion.  There we were, the unlikely couple, Pollyanna herself and this bullying, discomfort.

And then I read this:

“When we surrender, we allow the universe to work its magic; we say yes to infinite possibilities; we trust that things will work out as they are meant to; and we give our self permission to let go of the outcome. This can be liberating, intimidating, blissful, scary, and a swirl of so many other emotions. But in the end, if we are true to our heart, life unfolds with magnificence… and we get to celebrate.” ~ David Ji

And I knew I’d been in the universal dance of development, of expansion and I most definitely hadn’t been in harmony with the process.

And I let go.

I let go of wanting to change the feeling of discomfort.  And it simply dissolved, melting away into nothingness.

I entered a bright sunshiny day and I saw that I was going to change whether I wanted to or not.  Life likes change – life is change – we cannot and will not stay the same – even she who who’s perfectly happy with tried and true and even boring, I’m just not going to be staying there for long.

We live in a realm of constant change and like it or not, it’s happening; sometimes in small increments where we hardly notice it, sometimes in incredibly huge leaps. And it ploughs on through all our resistance.  No amount of foot stomping or pouting is going to make any difference.

Some smart someone once said change is the only constant and boy did they hit the nail on the head.

Just paying attention to nature gives us a clue.  The seasons change, the tides ebb and flow, the moon waxes and wanes.  We’re living in a sea of change.  Our very cells are changing right now.  Everything is in constant flux.

Best to give up all thoughts of stability you who enter here.  It isn’t real anyway, stability that is.

So for those who might find themselves in a state of discomfort today or maybe tomorrow, take it from me.

Don’t question it.

Don’t bother fighting it. You’re interfering with the very power that is leading you into a greater expression of your very self.  Spirit is always for expansion.

Don’t avoid it.

Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away, honest.

Instead embrace it.  Jump into the flow of life with as big a splash as possible and then go with the current.  It’s a heck of a lot easier to go with the flow of life than against it…trust me.  And if you simply remember you’re heading for where life unfolds magnificently you’ll end up celebrating your newest expansion.

You’ll discover new successes, new heart warming experiences, new stepping out as you, in a bigger, bolder way.  And I can say this with hand on heart because that’s just what’s happening to me.

More evidence of this to follow soon.  Watch this space.

What about you?  Been unhappy, or feeling discomfort lately?  What did you discover?

We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle
xoxo

ElleSommer
Elle Sommer is the author and founder of Live Purposefully Now, a website focused on sharing the insights and ancient wisdom that have collectively changed her life, in the desire to make a meaningful impact on yours. Trained at Coach U and having completed a year long training with Bob Proctor, her mission is to encourage and inspire others to build the business, relationships and life they want. You can also find her on Healthy Natural Oils her new website for helping you get started with essential oils for more natural health, well-being happiness and success in your life!

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34 Comments

  • What keeps me going is knowing that my state of discomfort today is temporary and will be passing soon. As you mentioned nothing stays the same. “This too shall pass” is what I remind myself when these situations come up. That is the bittersweet of life – the state of comfort or joy keeps moving and well as the discomfort. Sometimes I’m just off and like you can’t quite put my finger on why. The great news is that we are all human and can share these experiences. Thanks for sharing your great post!

    • Thanks for stopping by Cathy…I like ‘this too shall pass’ because it always does, doesn’t it. We just need to keep out of the way. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Elle,
    Embracing discomfort is very difficult! As Cathy says above, “This too shall pass.” Trust is the most important thing. When you know discomfort you will appreciate the good times. Love the David Ji quote, too.
    Thanks for a great post!
    xoxo
    Betsy

    • Embracing discomfort…what a great phrase Betsy…and that’s totally at the heart of it all. The more we resist the more it persists…as they say. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • It can be so hard to move out of our comfort zone even if that zone isn’t benefiting us. I’m thinking of being an addict and knowing the damage that I was doing to myself, but having to move from what I knew to the unknown was terrifying. Having been through that and come out the other side, change and moving out of my zone doesn’t scare me nearly as much now.
    Thank you Elle!

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts Carolyn…I can’t say often enough how much I respect and admire anyone who’s been challenged with addiction…of any kind. Getting up every day and choosing to say no…is simply mind-blowing. You are full of grace and power. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Elle, cursing is very therapeutic. I confess to having an excellent vocabulary – once one drives on Indian roads, it is inevitable.

    I can never stay with a feeling of discomfort for long. I prefer to disperse it with physical activity – usually housework (neverending, seemingly!) – and I consider it therapy with benefits. One memorable event that stemmed from that feeling was years ago – 2004 in fact, when I squirmed in my job, having outgrown it – and took the dramatic decision to quit and work from home. Challenges notwithstanding, when I reflect, that moment I made the change always feels glorious!

    ๐Ÿ™‚ I also sing loudly to shake off minor issues. ๐Ÿ˜€ I rather like being perpetually happy. If I am not, I just become ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Hugs, Elle!

    • I hear you Vidya…but you might change your mind if you heard me cursing. ๐Ÿ™‚ I like the way you deal with discomfort too…just think of all the benefits of you being in discomfort…I bet you get tons and tons done and your house must sparkle (a lot like you dear Vidya). And singing isn’t that a great thing for shifting vibrations. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Very true and words to live by. This is great advice, especially for those going through difficult/uncomfortable moments right now. It can be very tough when you are right in the thick of things to realize that “this will pass” and that your life is unfolding at it should, but having the knowledge of the process ahead of time can certainly help! Thanks for sharing.

    • Welcome Jessie and thanks for sharing your perspective. I think you’re absolutely right…once we’ve experienced this level of discomfort we can recognize it next time and know that it’s just moving us into higher levels of living…nothing to resist here. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • You know, there is a strange kind of comfort in the feeling of discomfort. It settles in and almost has a comfort zone of it’s own. Because we aren’t sure which direction to go with the discomfort, it becomes safe to do nothing … to just exist in the state of discomfort. Yet when we settle into it and then let go, the universe nudges us to move and the fear of the unknown tries to hold us back. The courage to take the step has to come from deep within yet is hard to pull forth. Off to “let go” in my discomfort so I can find direction and allow myself to be nudged forward into action.

    • Exactly Debi, it’s amazing how simply stopping resisting the feeling and letting it go creates such a huge space for us to take that leap of faith onto the next rung of the ladder of expansion. It doesn’t always feel like it at the time perhaps, but it’s a pretty cool system. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I so needed to hear this today Elle (you knew!). I think this is the third post in a row that I’ve been drawn to with the same message.

    I’ve had an odd feeling of depression for the past week or two that I haven’t been able to shake. I can think of reasons for it and have to laugh at them. I remind myself that I write about how to get past these states often and I’m trying all my own medicine to change my current state. And that’s the problem. I’m not accepting things as they are (the basis of mindfulness). Normally this is very easy for me to do.

    Change isn’t the problem. I actually want large amounts of change that aren’t happening fast enough for me – hence my frustration, anxiety and depression. I’ve realized how attached I’ve become to certain outcomes that I can’t control. I’ve realized that depression is basically the anticipation of a negative future.

    Let go. Accept this state, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Do my best and act from my values. Don’t get attached to any outcome.

    Thanks so much for all the reminders! Big Hugs!!

    • Paige, believe me when I tell you that I know just what you mean. And you are spot on when you say let go, accept and I would add that I like to expect happy outcomes for everyone…it seems to work for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I like this line of yours: “We live in a realm of constant change and like it or not, itโ€™s happening; sometimes in small increments where we hardly notice it, sometimes in incredibly huge leaps.” This resonated with me.

    When i feel discomfort I always remind myself that – Sometimes discovering my purpose becomes a catalyst for change, and change is not always easy. I need to be willing to experience temporary discomfort as I build the life of my dreams.

    Thanks for this great post!

    • Hi there Patricia, I love that you’re building the life of your dreams and as you say some discomfort along the way is okay…’cos we’re moving into higher levels of life…and that’s worth a little discomfort. I’m such a nosey parker, I just like to know what it’s all about. Mind you, there are times when I just have to say, to heck with it, who cares what it’s about, so long as I’m expanding and growing in more noble ways.

  • This is just what I needed to hear today Elle:)
    Being a Interior Designer for over twenty years and now transitioning into a new ground breaking business of Design Psychology has been uncomfortable. It has been easy being of service to others transitioning through life stages but, not as much when it has been myself:) Your words of encouragement helps me pause. I needed to remember for myself how change, shifts and vulnerability is the birthplace of joy!
    Smiles with Love,
    Laurel

    • Love your words Laurel…change, shifts and vulnerability are the birthplace of joy…now that’s really cool. Isn’t it funny how we can serve others often better than ourselves…but your awareness of this can make a huge difference…as I know you already know! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • It might be because I took a certain someone’s course about being more bold lately…Hmmm that would, of course, be you Tess. Had wonderful time and learned so much. But most important of all, encouraged to put it into practice. For which I thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Thank you Elle – this is just what I needed to hear today. Now, I understand more of what I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve wondered why I’ve felt “blah”, no inspiration or effort to write. I couldn’t put my finger on it but sounds real similar to what you’ve described.

    I like what you said, “No amount of foot stomping or pouting is going to make any difference” and “Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away”.

    Now, thanks to you for addressing this, I can start to just let go and trust.

    • It looks like there’s a few of us rowing in the same boat here Pat…welcome to the club. Letting go was so great…once I woke up to it…duh. Hopefully you have the same sense of peace and relaxation. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Yes Elle – it does seem like a lot of us are in the same boat and feeling the same things. I like Dr. Wayne Dyer’s reference to letting go and that’s to “stop interferring”. Thanks for the read and keeping me on my toes. ๐Ÿ˜†

  • Hi Elle,
    I have lots of that kind of feeling of insecurity but whenever I gets that kind of feeling I have comes out of it with great fighting spirit but when some time I have larger feeling I have loose some confidence. thanks for the great post Elle

  • This post spoke volumes to me. After having my first child at the age of 43 (not conceived with any type of fertility medicine, just God’s timing and totally unexpected), I’ve had a strong dose of baby blues. I’m not crying at everything, but I’m not happy as I once was before. I’ve been told to take anti-depressants, but I don’t want to mask the issue. I think I can work through this without medicine and I’m coming to terms with sleep deprivation and learning to ask for help. This is life changing, having a baby, especially when it wasn’t planned and at my age when I thought I was going through menopause. As you wrote, life is about changes. Life likes changes. I have to keep repeating that to myself. And it’s ok to not feel a part of it at first. I never was one who adapted to changes quickly. My husband adapts well, but it takes time for me. I’m giving myself the time right now.

    • Hello Aleta and thanks for sharing your story. Congratulations on your bundle of joy and you are so right, that sleep deprivation gets us every time. The good news is that like all things…this too shall pass. I’m so happy to hear you say you’re giving yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling and allowing yourself time to catch up to where you want to be. And you will Aleta, you will. Imagine yourself, rested and happy and enjoying your baby and your life and you’re planting the seeds of your next experience. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • So glad I came upon this post today. I’m flying across the world in 7 days and oh how the discomfort gets stronger, even though this is a decision I made. This is change that I put in motion, but I still feel nervous. I suppose that is the way of adventure and the unknown. Thank you for this bit of courage!

    • Hello Cassandra…I hope you have an absolutely amazing trip…and I know how you feel. I remember when I came to the states, something I too put in motion…and it turned out to be a most wonderful adventure indeed. Enjoy the experience. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Its easy to stay in your comfort zone and watch the world go by. And it takes a lot of effort to step outside of it. But once you do, it is liberation and you will never regret it. Thanks for reminding me that once again…

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