You know how to use a computer, a smartphone, programme your tv. Maybe you know something about the universe that the rest of us don’t.

You could be a dentist, a lawyer, an author, teacher, scientist, engineer, or a researcher in some field…BUT… if you don’t know how to expand love, contentment and happiness then all your degrees, all your skills and knowledge don’t matter much at all. You’re probably still messing up your life.

1.Missing the important lessons

Sometimes the hardest part of our journey is overcoming the false beliefs we’ve been fed about what makes a successful, happy life.

Most of us learned that the more money, more ‘stuff’ or fame and recognition we had, the more successful we were. 

Money is necessary….we all need it to survive…but surviving is barely living…we need more, we need to thrive.

So what about those other areas of life?  The ones that bring love, joy peace and fulfillment? The ones that help us thrive.

Where were those lessons?   The important ones that teach us how the thoughts we think and the feelings we feel affect every minute of our lives? 

2.Giving up the sheep state of mind

The lessons we all took to heart were to be afraid of being judged and found wanting, or worse totally rejected.  We learned to be more concerned with what ‘they’ think about us than how we feel about ourselves.  Everything we need to truly thrive in this world became dependent on the approval of someone else.

Our beliefs in ourselves, our confidence, or our self-worth tend to remain in the hands of others to this day.

You don’t have to follow these rules  You’re not a sheep.  It’s messing up your life.

The truth is that every second you spend needing validation from others, and doubting your own worth is a tragedy. Time thrown away.  Make today a fresh start and don’t be scared to choose new happier ideas and thoughts. 

[Tweet “Those who experience the most positive feelings each day are the ones who know true happiness. “]

3.Stepping into your discomfort zone and out of the messing up your life zone

It’s time to learn who you really are.  Right now you only know what they’ve told you about who you are.

Challenges are part of what makes life interesting and overcoming them makes life rewarding and as you take responsibility for your life and set new priorities you’re giving yourself a gift. The gift of positive changes.

It’s not always comfortable facing any kind of challenge, but this one will be so worth it. This challenge washes away the ashes of the past, that keep messing up your life. 

Riding the emotional waves of change is never easy…but as you become more aware of who you really are…your strength and belief in yourself will grow. And your tendency to keep messing up your life will diminish.

4.New priorities

We all need peace of mind and contentment; inner happiness and joy, but how many of us make them a priority? 

The best part of your life begins on the day you decide to set goals or invest in learning to achieve these.  If you want your life to mean anything then please don’t put all your focus on your career or financial goals. This isn’t the path to being truly fulfilled or fully successful.

Are you ready to love yourself enough to set a new priority? Because the biggest struggle in life is the struggle to overcome conditioned thinking, to let go of the past and to accept and embrace yourself just as you are. And then you can stop discrediting yourself for who you haven’t yet become.

Because while you’re carrying all that mental baggage you’re an unwitting participant in sabotaging your true success and happiness.

Believe with all your heart that you can…

[Tweet “Stop letting the past pollute the present.”]

And push through those barriers that keep messing up your life.  Learn to be your best friend and choose what’s best for you, not what others tell you is best.

It’s time to know how truly spectacular you are.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Great post Elle – I especially like the point ‘give up the sheep state of mind’. It’s been something I’ve been thinking about this very week, on conscious choices that we do – and don’t make. Thanks for sharing <3

    • Hi Ellen…how lovely to hear from you and thank you for your kind words. May you exist the ‘sheep state of mind’ pronto dear heart! 🙂

  2. “Our beliefs in ourselves, our confidence, or our self-worth tend to remain in the hands of others to this day.” – this is something I have been working really hard on lately. It’s really hard to detach yourself from what others think, especially with Facebook and Instagram and Twitter.

    Thank you for this post, you have made me feel like I am not alone.

    • Hello Zoey…oh my lovely you are so not alone. We are all struggling with one thing or another in life…some things more than others. But it’s all part and parcel of that wonderful experience it is to be alive. And since the sun comes up every morning…and we still get to be here…that’s a blessing in and of itself. Stay strong dear heart. 🙂

      • Thank you for your kind words 🙂 I have just recently found your site and have binge read about 20 articles by now. So much wisdom, positivity, and love. Thank you <3

        • Hi Zoey…I’m so happy you’re enjoying the site and thank you for being kind enough to let me know. I love when we encourage one another…it’s really special. Thank you. 🙂

  3. I think this is so true, Elle > “We all need peace of mind and contentment; inner happiness and joy, but how many of us make them a priority?” We could all feel more joy, but we don’t put our intention and attention on joy. It’s not so difficult once we decide to focus on joy.

    • You make a great point Sandra…awareness of what is needed and focus on that and our world will do a backflip in recognition of our joining the community of joy. 🙂

  4. Love this post. My favorite point is “Stepping into your discomfort zone and out of the messing up your life zone.” Boy, I used to live in the “messing up your life” zone. Consciously choosing not to do that to myself anymore does grow my belief and trust in myself. I like it much better this way.

    • Your comment made me laugh so much Debbie…cos who hasn’t lived in that zone. And true confession…there are times when I found myself back in it…but with a quick shake of the head I’m out again! As you say life is so much better in the discomfort zone, though so many do everything in their power to avoid it maybe because messing up their life is ‘normal’. Even though the discomfort zone brings with it the opportunity for living the life of our dreams. We are a funny bunch on this planet! 🙂

  5. Yes to pushing through, I am doing a shift project this week and letting go of what no longer lights up my life 🙂 Great post and good reminders xx

    • Hi Suzie…love the sound of your ‘shift project’. Would love to know the tools you use for letting go. 🙂

  6. HI Elle, it’s always very enlightening to read your post. Very relevant, sometimes we do mess up our lives and true indeed that we have to let go of the past and to accept and embrace yourself just as you are. Thanks for sharing a beautiful post.

    • Hello Noah…I’m so glad you enjoyed the post…it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do…letting go of who we were told we were, especially because sometimes we don’t even know who we truly are. But it is an exciting journey. 🙂

  7. Ha! Love ‘giving up the sheep state of mind’ – off to do a little bleating – had to share:)

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