Everyone can find themselves feeling deflated, crushed, discouraged and disillusioned.

You’re not a machine.

Sometimes the wind just gets knocked right out of your sails. It can happen to us all, leaving every strategy for living the best life possible out of reach as we struggle to get it back together.

Anyone can give up and people do. Anyone can feel lost and wonder how to get back on the path they’ve chosen. And the mentally strong among us have discovered that along with a resolute determination, the following traits help to get them back on track.

1.Take responsibility

Be responsible for the things you do and the outcomes you experience. This doesn’t mean blame. Blame is not another name for responsibility. Blame is self-destructive nonsense and has no place in an empowered life.

Being responsible simply means you are self-aware. You recognize your destiny lies in your hands. When situations arise that are trying, you understand they’re simple reflections of some inner beliefs you hold and you are in control of what you choose to believe.

Taking responsibility makes it easier to get back on track when we falter.

2.Give up complaining

It’s a waste of time and effort to complain about situations like terrible drivers or traffic or airport delays, forgotten promises, and especially other people.  In the moment of experience it becomes just that, an experience and not one that we can control.


What we can do is use these experiences as reminders to expect something better and by doing so we empower ourselves. The one thing you have control of in every situation is your response and attitude. The mentally strong use their attitudes to their best advantage and a great attitude helps you get back on track more easily.

3.Non acceptance

Don’t accept negativity. Be cautious around those who spread negativity and gloom and avoid the people who are deliberately difficult.

Eliminating negativity from life paves the way for more positive and uplifting experiences. And as you fill yourself with life affirming ideas you are fueling tomorrow’s actions towards the fulfillment of your dreams.

Use your mental strength to imagine yourself surrounded by encouraging and happy people; as this occurs in your world you’ll have discovered one of the pathways to greater inner peace and contentment.

4.Let go of the past

Those who can’t remove their mental gaze from past experiences are likely to be as unable to move forward as Lot’s wife, who was turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back.

Don’t let the mistakes or problems from the past interfere with your life today.

Don’t condemn yourself to stand forever looking over your shoulder at previous disappointments.

Don’t allow the past to have mastery over you.

Commit yourself today to investing your mental energy in creating and living your best, most fulfilled life. A sense of commitment becomes a beacon of light when you’re floundering in the dark.

5.Rise above criticism

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Most of us don’t experience immediate results with anything we undertake. A workout plan, a change of diet, a new perspective on life have one thing in common. They all require persistence.

Don’t allow resistance, or criticism to sway you. When the critics appear, be they inner or outer, keep your mental energy applied in regular doses towards your dream and away from the criticism. Remember to celebrate each small step along the way, it’s the little steps that keep you on course.

Commitment is the antidote to criticism and is your aid and ally in ignoring the naysayers and keeping you connected to the vision of your life. Remember, it’s what you do on a daily basis that will be the measure of your mental strength.

how to have a better life

6.Celebrate success

Be happy for the success of others. Your willingness to celebrate the success of others, to feel their joy and be glad for them indicates your strength of character and will serve you well on your path.

Being envious or jealous of others is poor fuel for your own journey to success. Instead be grateful for where you are and the blessings you have without comparing them to those of others.

As you write the script for your life be the hero, be mindful in the choices you make throughout the day. Your choice to think kindly and compassionately, to see others as they would wish to be seen and to encourage the down-hearted activates your own inner power and leads to as yet unimaginable success.

Do you have some traits that are great pick-me-up supports? How do you get back on track?   I want to hear how you deal with this so please leave a comment below.

I’m grateful for you being here and participating in the encouragement of us all. And a great big hug and thanks to those who happily share across their social networks.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle

Photo credit:


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Never give up – one of my mottos. (or is that mottoes?) One of my uncles would irritate me – saying that there is nothing so bad that cannot be worse. I chose to understand just the opposite in a twisted way – I believed that everything would be alright…sometimes it was just a matter of time.

    Very inspiring post, Elle! Your words always encourage!

    • Elle

      Hi Vidya, of course you would have a positive spin on Uncle’s saying cos you’re a little miss sunshine, brightening up our blogosphere. πŸ™‚

  2. I love these tips, Elle! I think focusing on the positive and being mindful really help me. Being mindful, in particular, helps me stay in the moment and not dwell so much on the past.

    • Elle

      Hi Jessica, staying in the moment is where all the good things are, happiness, love, joy, success, and the rest. It’s a great place to be. πŸ™‚

  3. Sometimes it’s hard not getting upset with those stupid drivers πŸ™‚ But I try not to let them get to the long term of my soul…just for a minute or two…

    • Elle

      I know what you mean Linda. Thankfully we can be in and out in the blink of eye these days. We are human after all. πŸ™‚

  4. In all honesty, I’ve been feeling a bit discouraged lately… I know that it is only temporary because good things are around the corner!

    • Elle

      Isn’t great to know that this too shall pass Cher? It’s just about finding a new perspective and it’s amazing how we often find just what we’re looking for, negative or positive. πŸ™‚

  5. It’s okay to feel discouraged. We’ve all been there. Just don’t let it get to you and try to focus on the positive side.

    • Elle

      Hi Shaun, like that, staying focused on the positive. πŸ™‚

  6. Hello Elle,

    Great article. I loved it. The “celebrate success” part was one that I particularly enjoyed, because it’s a great reminder. I usually celebrate the successes of other people, but for me personally, because I am usually thinking about the “next thing” for myself, I sometimes forget to stop and celebrate my own successes. Thank you for the great reminder in that regard. It resonated with me.

    Have a great weekend!

    • Elle

      We’re all guilty of it Victor, it’s almost like being ungrateful isn’t it. And yet it only takes a minute to have a moment of appreciation for ourselves. πŸ™‚

  7. Lovely post Elle. Focus and determination help me get through those challenging times. I think it helps to have the mindset that you can do it, rather than focus on all that you cannot do! Thanks for the inspiration!

    • Elle

      Hi Cathy, it makes perfect sense that focus and determination support the mindset you want. Thanks for sharing your tips. πŸ™‚

  8. You’ve made a great list of positive approaches here Elle, all very valuable. I have been contemplating this a lot recently and I realised that there is actually great value in the ‘down’ times, perhaps it’s time to just take a break, or slow down, or simply let go and be for a while.
    What I learnt was sometimes, pushing against the grain doesn’t always work, and actually whatever negative emotion we feel (be it discouragement or fear or worry) has it’s place too – it encourages us to look forward to the ups. Embracing the discouragement, and being gentle with yourself, believing that whatever you feel, it is fine to feel that way too – and all in good time, the valleys will give way once again to the peaks.
    I real revelation was that, we would never know or enjoy the good if we never experience the bad. So if attempting to work through discouragement positively does not work – sit with it for a while, and thank the emotion for the lessons it brings.
    (Sorry this is such a long comment – looks like i got carried away πŸ™‚
    Take care Elle and keep sharing your light.

    • Elle

      Hi Li-ling your comment is great. Full of inspired thoughts and ideas that can benefit us all. Thanks for being willing to share. πŸ™‚

  9. Hi Elle; Thanks for continuing to encourage us. I think a good thing is to take a few minutes every day to think of the good things in your life. some days it may be hard, but if you can find one thing; then you can find more. I think that we need to avoid taking in negative emotions from news talk radio and those toxic friends everyone has in their lives. My dad always said that if i had to watch tv i should watch something funny educational or inspirational. his favorite when things were tough was the animal channels. I read a lot, and lately I am finding there is just as much good in a great novel as there is in an inspirational or self help book. Thanks again for keeping us moving forward. take care, max

    • Elle

      Hi Max, wow you’ve hit the nail on the head with those emotions we pick up from the tv. I noticed it myself recently. Not that we’re big tv watchers compared with many…but you’re so right. Think of how many hours a week we spend in negative feelings that we’re picking up from our favourite tv show. Unless as you say it’s something amusing, uplifting or inspirational. πŸ™‚

      • Hi elle; i have always been more of a reader anyway. I am also a big fan of old time radio. but i read in one of joel osteen’s books that he recommended no more than an hour a day on tv news. He refers to CNN as D&GNN doom and gloom news network. of course he pointed out that you can say that about any of the 24 hour news channels. and it is especially true of the negative influence of listening to hours of talk radio every day. I often wonder if our country’s political problems would ease if people didn’t spend hours in traffic every day listening to a liberal or conservative talking head telling them how bad the other side is and how the other party is leading the country to destruction. I sort of took osteen’s advice and applied it to all my entertainment. I do still sometimes watch or listen to a show that is in the area of a guilty pleasure. Hey i don’t claim to be perfect. smile I will admit to the occasional episode of family guy or the simpsons. but just like with toxic people we need to be mindful for toxic books, newspapers, magazines, tv shows, and radio broadcasts. Thanks for the great posts. Keep them coming, max

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