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[success]If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started. ~ Cicero[/success]

Think for a moment what you might do differently if you were someone else. Someone with supreme confidence in their abilities. Someone who had a set of attitudes and beliefs and feelings and mental conditioning that ensured an abundance of enthusiasm, self-belief and success.

If you’ve ever let doubts and insecurities run your life, and I know I certainly have…know this…

You are powerful beyond measure. Look beyond who you currently see in the mirror…remember, your eyes only show you what you believe.

You are phenomenally glorious when you determinedly decide to cultivate greater confidence.

You are unstoppable when you become aware that your mind simply believes what you tell it the most and you discover the power is yours to change this.

Here’s 5 ways to build the confidence in yourself that allow you to move far beyond your fears, doubts and insecurities.

Believe in your capacity for change

Life is a series of evolutions. You’re destined to grow into the greatest you possible. Life doesn’t stop for any of us, it keeps rolling along and you are capable of rolling along with it. Don’t allow life to knock you over and leave you floundering.

Your world is a process of your thinking and your thinking can be changed, said Einstein. Believe him.

Surround yourself with encouraging, inspiring people

To boost your confidence it’s important that you have people in your world to encourage and support you.  Sometimes you just have to let go of the negative nellies, whilst remembering that they’re only messengers reminding you of the way you view yourself.

Changing the way you see yourself might take a little time. And there’s an easy way to spend a little of that time with those who uplift. If you currently can’t find it in your friends or family seek out a video of someone with an inspiring message, someone who encourages and lightens your spirit. It’s a fun way to boost your confidence.

Be your own best friend

Never put yourself at the bottom of the heap after you’ve encouraged your partner, your kids, your friends or your students.

When the chips are down best friends are there, cheering you up, cheering you on. Become your number one cheerleader. Be determined to see yourself differently, see the value you bring to our world.

Create your own vision for your life and cheer for your own success. No-one can take away your ability and freedom to believe in yourself. But you have to choose to see it for yourself.

Remind yourself of your awesomeness, your specialness, the fact that you are good at things that other people are not, that you have gifts and talents that the rest of us might not possess. You rock. Embrace it. Give yourself messages that instill confidence…the power lies in you.

Be determined

Don’t wait for good things to happen, get out and make them happen. If you begin to convince your mind, to condition it with confidence you’ll be in a position to create opportunities.

Be like Napoleon who, when told by his generals the circumstances weren’t right for a battle said, to hell with circumstances, I make my own.

That’s confidence.

Your greatness lies in your ability to recognize the power of your mind, value it, embrace it, use it.

Picture a successful image of yourself

What often messes up our life is the picture in our head of the way things are…the way we are. You can train yourself to paint new pictures, to seek the joy and appreciation in life instead of waiting for it to come. You can only see and have what you’re looking for and you get, not what you want, but what you think you can have.

The only thing that limits you is your imagination. Don’t just wish for things to be different use the power of your mind, see yourself as being the confident you, the one with unquestioning belief in your ability to carve out a life of your choosing.

Mentally applaud your successes. Only you have the power and ability to bring your dreams to life. You are the originator of your reality.

Choose a good attitude

If you think of yourself as usually lucky you’ll tend to find this to be your truth, just as focusing on your faults and failures and bad luck tends to make these your experiences.

Think of your attitude of mind as a force to be reckoned with and create the habit of seeing yourself as fortunate to be here on this beautiful planet. Feeling grateful at how far you’ve come instead of thinking of how far you have to go puts you into a state of confidence. Someone capable of producing happy and glorious experiences.

Aim high. Don’t measure your future by your past. A new day is dawning, setting up a new pattern of confidence in you. Be willing to experience a new realization of your own power. Your imagination is your greatest asset don’t neglect to use it to produce an abundance of enthusiasm, success and above all the confidence to create.

What aspect of confidence are you struggling with the most right now? We’re all in the same mind tries to feed me the same BS as yours, which is why I come up with fun ways to get around it and create new habits.

Got your own methods to increase your confidence? Leave a comment and let me know. Remember to share this with your friends.

As always thanks for reading and sharing and commenting. You’re the greatest.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Hi Elle; The part about mirrors and seeing what you believe in them got me thinking. I recently read a post by someone who helps people with their body image. She advised that people remove, cover or turn mirrors the other direction. And I wonder that if being blind makes seeing myself positively any easier or not. I know i couldn’t lose the weight until I accepted needing the help of having the surgery. I am very positive and love to encourage others. I also am good at being my own best friend as you suggested. If anyone here needs a cheerleader just get in touch. And I hope its okay to mention that lorraine reguly and i have an interview with me coming out on her site wording well on tuesday. She has been a good friend, and I am trying to help her. Thanks for all the great posts and take care my friend. xoxo max

    • Elle

      Hi Max, I’m totally in awe of the life you are shaping for yourself. You are amazing. 🙂

  2. This article really hit close to home for me, and it’s just beautifully written.
    Though I couldn’t agree more that we are all powerful beyond measure (and especially in changing and sculpting ourselves), I tend to completely forget about this, especially when I need it the most.
    Thank you so much for writing this, it was a great read and for me it’s also a wonderful reminder that in order to love ourselves, we must first get to know and accept ourselves.

    • Elle

      Hi Sandra so nice to have you join in the conversation. Believe me you’re not alone in forgetting about how powerful we are. I’ve been studying and practicing this philosophy for many years now and there are still times when I get ‘caught up’ in ‘stuff’. I’m always here if you ever need a little encouragement. 🙂

  3. I so appreciate how you recognize that we are all in the same boat, some of us have just been learning to steer a bit longer. The point that especially resonates for me is being our own best friend and not putting ourselves down. I also make it a point to be around encouraging and inspiring people; the very reason I visit your blog!

    I think I’ve improved greatly on the confidence front. My main challenge now is being skillful in how I use my time.

    • Elle

      Thanks for the kind words Sandra. I’ve discovered that we grow in different areas at different times. So I totally get that your confidence is up and now you’d like to manage yourself at the same level. Hmmmmm that sounds familiar to me. Oh yes, I’ve been experiencing something similar. Seems like we’re soul sisters in some ways. 🙂

  4. Oh, I just so enjoyed this message. Thank you again, for sharing from your heart….I always feel connected after reading you.

    • Elle

      Hi Annie, I’m so grateful to have you take the time to leave a comment. What a lovely thing to hear about your connection. It warms my heart. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  5. Hi Elle,
    Totally agree with you there.I also beleive in the powerof small steps to increase your confidence.
    Whatever you might say,succeeding and moving ahead does require a lot of digression from routine;changing lanes from the “comfortable track”.
    The bigger the stakes the bigger the change and detour.And hence the bigger the doubts,the bigger the question marks,the longer the deliberations,the more likely the paralysis .We exaggerate our problems,in tiny steps,instead of exaggerating our capabilities,and possibilities.
    Yet this need never be the case.All we need to do is focus on the tiny steps;the smaller building blocks of any achievement,any success story.
    Remember nothing big and worthwhile ever attained its gargantuan proportions suddenly,at the snap of a finger.It always took finite time,and finite addition of smaller sub-parts to lead up to the whole.

    • Elle

      Thanks for sharing your insights and perspectives Mona…it’s always good to hear from you. 🙂

  6. Self-love is at the heart of confidence for me. I dwell on that feeling of being Love. I dwell on gratitude for all my blessings. I choose to focus on encouragement and loving friends. I focus on my next steps. I don’t take the detours of self-doubt or get caught in others’ confusion. I love all your steps for building confidence Elle! These are so important.

    • Elle

      How great Martine that you are in such a wonderful state…no doubt the most amazing things are happening in your world…how could they not. Sadly so many have such an unhappy concept of themselves that life isn’t as beautiful as it could be. 🙂

  7. Hi Elle,

    Love the inspiration in this post. Choose a good attitude is such an overall great suggestion. Our attitude can make all the difference in how we look at our life, whether it be the ups or the downs. Keeping positive has helped me through the years. Take care!

    • Elle

      Hi Cathy, you are such an inspiration. No doubt you had to practice keeping the attitude you wanted to have over the years and my heart is always filled with joy when I read your posts so ripe with encouragement and support. Thanks for the great light you shine in our world dear friend. 🙂

  8. Really beautifully written and great points, Elle.

    One thing I’d like to do when I’m feeling less confident in any situation is just to look confident. If I can successfully trick people into thinking I’m confident, somehow that increases my confidence level.

    • Elle

      Thanks Jeremy, I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Great idea about looking confident. I read recently that if we put out bodies into confident positions, the way we stand and walk for example, our confidence level rises. Makes sense to me. 🙂

      • Definitely! It works. Our minds and bodies are sort of like connected. You read about it, but I watched a video about it. 🙂 By Amy Cuddy on Ted.

  9. I loved this Elle! Not putting yourself at the bottom of the heap is such great advice… It reminds me of what the flight attendance tell you before take off. Put that mask on yourself first! You can’t take care of anyone else if you are out of commission. Thanks for sharing I really enjoyed this post 😉

    • Elle

      Hi Melissa glad you enjoyed the post. It’s so true isn’t it about the flight attendant and their wise words. 🙂

  10. Another great thought provoking article Elle. Confidence is a great thing to have, over-confidence maybe not so much. Just ask Napoleon. It didn’t work out so well with him 🙂

    • Elle

      I had to laugh about Napoleon, he did eventually become way too cocky in us use of confidence. 🙂

  11. I especially like what you said about choosing a good attitude. A good attitude certainly goes a long way and really helps in those discouraging moments. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Elle!

  12. This is another amazing post, Elle! I especially like the line about your eyes only showing what you believe. So true!

    • Elle

      Hi Jessica…we get to see what’s in our consciousness which is sort of a good plan, because when we see things we don’t care for, we know to get to the source – us – to make whatever changes we desire. Great system. 🙂

  13. If we won’t be our best friend, Elle, who will be then? Why do we go out of our way to please others, make others happy, be kind to others without doing so to ourselves. That negative Nelly within us always tries to get the upper hand and take advantage of a perfectly good place we are in. Why don’t we treat ourselves like our own best friend, as you ask. We do feel confident when our best friends are around us so why not cultivate those feelings within ourselves? I like that tip and the others you provide.

    One more I could add to build confidence is to practice. Do more of what you’re fearful of or that scares you. Repeatedly trying to do something to improve and get better, like public speaking let’s say, helps us get better and believe in ourselves more.

    • Elle

      Hi Vishnu, practicing new habits is always going to make things easier as you say. Always grateful for your insights my friend. 🙂

  14. I totally agree with this dear that we have to be our best friend. That will really work. Your post is really so inspiring to me!

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