Losers fix the blame; winners fix what caused the problem ~ Denis Waitley

Nothing is as painful as the thought and feelings of thinking we’re a loser. Most people experience that stage in life when they lose all hope and faith to keep going.

Who are the losers?  Here’s my definition.

Losers are those who have given up on life. They no longer want to explore ways to make things better. They’re often filled with self-dislike and need to make others feel small, because that’s how they feel…small. 

Not long ago, I was that person. Filled with lack of vision and purpose to move forward I ‘d lost my self-confidence and even though I was able to visualize how to make things better, I simply wasn’t able to access the mindset to take action.

And I can tell you it hurt. Depression is real, and isn’t a feeling you want to carry for the rest of your life, the thoughts of regrets and things you could have done better but you refused to because of fear and negativity. So, believe me; I know what it’s like to start feeling like a loser.

If you’re going through something similar or know someone who’s feeling like a loser, the purpose of this post is to inspire you not to give up and help you discover how you can turn your situation around.

If you haven’t fallen into that ditch yet, this post will help you avoid teetering on the edge!

How are losers created?

I believe everyone has the potential to attain success in life. However, losers are created when someone accepts failure as final.

This can be passed to generations to come and then before you know it, a whole generation is patterned and conditioned to accept defeat and live like a loser.

The truth is, you don’t have to let the mistakes of your past generations determine who you’ll become in life. In the same way don’t leave a legacy of a loser behind.

Here are the things you can do if you want to avoid or stop feeling like a loser.

Losers compare their failures to others success


Social media and fake living have misled so many and gotten so many into a state of depression.

Most people compare themselves to others thinking thoughts like: Others are ahead of me, others are richer than me, I am miserable because I can’t buy that stuff.

If you want to stop feeling like a loser, you need to stop comparing yourself to others, believe in yourself, your own ability to make things better, and when things are not working, don’t compare your failure to another’s success.

If you just keep working at it, your time will come, As many as the birds in the sky, flying freely without blocking each others path, your time to fly will come. Just keep hustling without comparing yourself to anyone out there.

Shut out the bad news

Wherever your attention goes, your energy flows: when you pay too much attention to the negative news going around, you can find yourself drawn in, and before you know it, you start to think things are bad, the economy is not booming and how this is going to affect every aspect of your life. 

Sometimes you have to shut out the bad news and choose to focus on your confidence and not on your fear.

Stand firm on your decisions

We often can’t decide because of self-criticism and our perspectives of how things are.

The question is when things go wrong, who will you blame? Who will you hold accountable? To reduce the blame of failure, which can really make you start feeling like a loser, you need to trust your own instinct and stand firm on your decisions no matter what happens.

Focus on the solution, not the problem

Most of the time, losers focus on the problem and all that is negative so much so  that they lose sight of what’s possible and what can be done. When you’re going through challenges, first acknowledge it, and let your focus shift to the solution, and away from the problem.

Gambling instead of investing

What most people put their money on is an unstable gimmick.

Many go to the casino to trade their hard-earned money for luck; others invest it in a get rich quick scheme. That is a wrong way to invest, placing your money on what you can’t control won’t likely yield a positive result, and the thought of losing money can bite so deep.

Don’t invest money on luck, you can buy a land, or start your own business, those are the things you can control. The question you should be asking yourself before investing your money in anything is that if anything goes wrong, do I have control?

Don’t waste your time and money on things that will create bad memories and make you feel like a loser, invest your money creating good comforting memories.

I believe we can create the changes we want in our life, so instead of blaming others for whatever goes wrong, let’s look deep within.

We can fix the situation; we can stop feeling like a loser if we choose to.

Instead of blame let’s choose responsibility.

Responsibility for the choices we make going forward.


Cephas Tope is the author of The Road Map to Your Extraordinary Life. He writes at highachievers.me, where he shares self improvement and business tips. you can join his free newsletter to learn how to make unshakeable progress and how to create extraordinary super life.


  1. Tony Sloane

    Been working for 45 years and my time never came. This sounds good but the reality is for someone to win someone has to lose. Even when you come close to digging out something happens to put you right back in. Sorry but this message you are saying just isn’t true. Some people just always lose.

    • Hi Tony – I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your views. I’m sorry you keep experiencing this. Have you read my book The Power of Consciousness? It might help. You can find it here. https://amzn.to/3lkUQjx

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