You genuinely want to let go of the hurts of the past, to put them behind you, and make a more awesome future.

The problem is the past keeps calling you. 

You’ve bumped up against one of the hardest lessons in life. Letting go.

What happened yesterday is of no consequence. Your memory is crippling your future and it’s stopping you from leaving the past behind so you can make room for the present.

Whether it’s loss, anger, guilt, or negative memories, letting go isn’t easy. 

That doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It just means you’re not engineering your life enough to shake things up.

If you take the right approach you’ll find letting go  is easier than you imagined…

1.Take charge

You can’t just let life happen to you.

Every moment we’re relentlessly bombarded by those wanting us to do something.

Buy the latest gadget, read the next best, greatest article. And we’re even promised that if we get that new app it will make our life better, easier, happier.

Except it won’t. Because it can’t.  That’s in your hands.

Your job is to steadfastly refuse to be persuaded into doing any of the above.

Don’t react every time you see something fun or interesting; you’re letting your environment dictate your choices and that’s a warning sign that you’re not in charge.take charge of your life

Take charge of your mind, your actions, and your feelings. Tell yourself who you are, what you want and only do the things that will get you there.

And whatever you do, don’t react every time a memory of the past pops into your head. No matter how many times you re-visit it, analyze it, regret it…it’s over…it has no place in your life today.

(For more ways to move beyond a painful past click here)

2.What am I grateful for?

Seek things that you’re grateful for.

By seeking gratitude you’re activating the region in your brain that produces dopamine and boosts serotonin; the feel good hormone. Feeling good about life right now gives you little reason to keep revisiting past hurts.

Gratitude is much more than a platitude, it affects your brain in a positive way, which in turn reminds you how awesome life really is.

I know that sometimes life deals you a crummy hand and it feels like there’s not much to be grateful for, but that’s when it’s easy for the ‘monkey mind’ to jump in and take you back to what was.

If that happens, it’s good to remember that life is ticking away minute by minute, and you don’t want to waste it dwelling on yesterday. Better to cherish every precious moment.

(To learn about using evening rituals for happiness and finding gratitude, click here)

3.Choose freedom

If you better understood the nature of life within you and knew that your emotions and life energy were meant to be given instructions by you, would you let unpleasantness happen?  Unlikely.  Right?

But nothing is taking instructions from you…you’re at the mercy of your thoughts and feelings as though they don’t belong to you.

Your mind is here to serve the life within you, but right now it’s enslaved to all the impressions you’ve gathered over the years.

You’ve identified yourself as being them. Instead of recognizing that whilst an accumulation of impressions might be yours, they can never be YOU.

And yet here you are, living life through these accumulations. Through what you have gathered, not through who you are.

No wonder letting go of the past is hard.

4.Your ‘I’m-Pressions’

Each experience, each idea you’ve gathered over the years has been recorded in your subconscious mind.  Whether they were true, or real, nor not.

It’s been impressed upon it, without thought or concern as to whether it’s helpful or hurtful.

The big problem with that is your life then becomes an expression of these ideas.  You live your life as though they were true.  And end up experiencing events and circumstances you would never choose if you were in control of your mind.

Letting go of what was and creating situations the way you want them, means you have to have some mastery over your mind.

It might seem overly simplistic, and sometimes it’s the hardest part of the journey, but it’s absolutely vital that you change the ‘I’m-Pressions’ that you’ve lived by for so long.

This sounds odd and it is; so what does it mean?

It’s those words that follow the thought ‘I AM.’  

I am…this…or I am that…are the ‘I’m-Pressions’ you’ve accumulated that are creating your life as it is today. These form the concepts you have of yourself. And every action you take stems from how you see yourself.

Now you know about this, it’s up to you to decide whether this is acceptable.  And just in case it isn’t…

5.Keeping it simple

You can easily being to turn those ‘I”m-Pressions’ on their head by using positive language to describe yourself.

“I Am…happy. I Am loving life. I Am confident. I Am successful. I Am strong. I Am learning. I Am growing.

Whatever you’d like your new impressions to be.

It might not always feel comfortable. It might not even ring true right now. It matters not. You’re simply impressing new concepts and they’ll be recorded, true or not. It’s absolutely worth it. You’re worth it.

You’re letting go of old self-concepts, and letting in new awareness.  Out goes the past, in comes a more awesome future.

And as always it’s in your hands.  Or maybe I should say in the mastery you have over your mind!

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. I love this reminder, Elle: “Take charge of your mind, your actions, and your feelings.” It’s been on my mind lately because it’s very easy to go along and do what you’re loved ones would like even when it might not be your first priority. Something to think about.

    • Hi Sandra…by mastering your mind you begin to have your thoughts and beliefs work for you not against you. That’s when life flows the way it’s supposed to. But sadly, for most of us, most of the time, we allow our mind to simply be a reactive force. 🙂

  2. I can’t let go of an ex only when I’m bored, unwell or sad which is usually when I’m sick or just before TOM appears. Its not always easy to constantly be on the go to avoid the thoughts when I’m unwell. But he only appears in my mind when I’m physically run down and taking time out of my life to look after me. What I do is entertain the thoughts instead of resisting them. That has helped tremendously.

    • Hi Usa…as you’ve discovered resistance is futile. Kudos to you dear heart.

      Trying not to think of something is actually thinking of something. How wonderful that you can allow the thoughts to come and go without giving them any power over you. You are not your thoughts…you have thoughts. You are not your mind…you have a mind. That understanding really does help in letting go of what hurts.

  3. Thank you for these great practical steps to help us make our lives awesome! A great reminder 🙂

    • Hi Allanah, glad you enjoyed the post and as always I appreciate you taking the time to let me know. 🙂

  4. Hi Elle,

    Love your suggestions on some positive language to help yourself move forward – “I Am…happy. I Am loving life. I Am confident. I Am successful. I Am strong. I Am learning. I Am growing.”

    Awesome tips to move yourself forward in a positive way!

    • Hi Cathy…it’s funny how easy it is to claim the very things we don’t want in our life, but it’s equally easy to claim the things that feel good…it’s just a question of choice isn’t it?

  5. I love that you included the effects of gratitude on your brain.

    “By seeking gratitude you’re activating the region in your brain that produces dopamine and boosts serotonin; the feel good hormone. Feeling good about life right now gives you little reason to keep revisiting past hurts.”

    It is most definitely one of the easiest ways to change our brains and lives for the better. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Hi Debbie…I love the idea of changing our brains. They’re so much more adaptable than we’ve ever given them credit for and if we can rewire them to provide us with a love of happiness and joy, I’m all for it. 🙂

  6. Love this letting go is currently something I am working through to move to truly living my passion xx

    • Hi Suzie…I always love the energy and high vibration you bring to everything you do. How wonderful that you are letting go in order to truly live your passion. 🙂 Love that connection.

  7. Gosh Elle, what a powerful post. You pulled me up so short with ‘You can’t just let life happen to you’. I also really appreciate that you say it isn’t easy to let go sometimes but with inspiration and motivation like this, really we have the best chance.

    • Hi Laura…lovely to see you here and thank you for your kind words…I really appreciate them. 🙂

  8. Joseph Appaloosa

    Another great article, Elle !
    “Keep it simple”!
    It all comes down to Love or Fear and We choose Love !!!
    Write on, Elle!

    • Hello Joseph…always good to hear fro you. Love or Fear…so true dear one. 🙂

  9. Another beautiful reminder. Thanks Elle for always sharing motivating articles like this. It feels great to read post like this every morning. Love it. 🙂

    • Sherill…you make MY day. You are always so generous with your comments…you are definitely a member of the ‘Encouragers Club’ 🙂

  10. Just love this inspirational reading.The comments of the readers are also very positive!

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