How to Stop Feeling like a Fraud and Live a More Meaningful Life

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feeling-like-a-fraudWhat if I told you that the obnoxious voice in your head that says you’re not good enough, you’ll never get that job, or you just don’t have what it takes to be truly successful in life is just that…a voice that tells a story that’s not always connected to reality?

And would you believe me if I told you there was a way for you to handle life’s challenges with ease, be a better partner or parent, become a skilled speaker, get through difficult interviews, or be more relaxed and socially comfortable even when you’re shy or introverted?

Because you can.

Regardless of the voice in your head today. Never forget the one area that you unquestionably can control is your own mind.

So no more feeling out of step, out of sorts or plain numbing yourself with binge watching tv and eating bags of potato crisps or yummy bars of chocolate.  Try this instead:

1. Tap into the magic

Learn to focus beyond your current experiences.

Incredible emotional magic happens when you begin to see yourself clearly in a future that you are designing in your mind’s eye.

The more excited you become about your potential future and the YOU that experiences it, the easier it will be for you to alter the pre-conceived notion that you’re something of a fraud. And then you can move towards the more meaningful life you deserve.

Which is not being highly educated, the best at everything, or being perfect. It’s about being really authentic, being humble and being able to share yourself so you touch the life of others.

2. Self Acceptance

According to statistics, 70% of us seem to be afraid that we’ll get found out…that people will discover we’re not as good as they seem to think and so we focus solely on self-improvement. 

After all we’re awash in a culture that’s obsessed with self-improvement and with those who have brilliant, simple and easy ways for us to do it.

Self improvement is great.  But no matter how much ‘improvement’ you experience, without the vital piece of the puzzle called ‘self-acceptance’, you never get very far. And that feeling of being a fraud will keep popping up throughout your life.

So step up and embrace one of the great paradoxes of life, to accept who you are today, whilst still being a work in progress.

This doesn’t mean you’ve given up…quite the opposite.  Allowing yourself to accept who you are actually sets the stage for and brings you greater opportunities to make changes and enhancements to your life in an authentic way.

Too often we can so hung up about what we need to do in order to be happy, or feel better about ourselves that we miss out on the authentic, meaningful life that automatically brings happiness to us.

Being authentically you means living each moment consciously in acceptance; realizing that all the happiness you seek is present if you pay attention.  Be willing to appreciate that where you are right now is far better than it might have been and you will enjoy it more.

3. Stop being so damned hard on yourself

Hands up if your first thought is often something along the lines of “Holy moly, I can’t do this. I shouldn’t be involved. Basically I’m a fraud”.

Try to remember…you’re not where you are because you tricked anyone and you’re not where you are because you’re just plain lucky…not such a bad thing anyway!

Truth be told you’re no different than the rest of us, walking a path, stumbling every now and then, picking yourself up and moving on.

An incredibly huge reason you feel that you’re faking it is because the standards you’ve set yourself are so high as to be out of the stratosphere. No one, not even the most successful are perfect at what they do, including you and me. Guess what?  No one expects you to be.

Valerie Young puts it so well:

“The important thing is not to take the discomfort of feeling out of your element to mean you are somehow less intelligent, capable, or worthy than others. You are where you are because you deserve to be. Period.”  (Read The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It)    

‘Nuff said!

FYI you’re no more a fraud than the rest of us, so from now on whenever you feel the need to wear a mask…don’t dig out the imposter one, put on your superhero/heroine mask and flaunt the heck out of it.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle

xo

ElleSommer
Elle Sommer is the author and founder of Live Purposefully Now, a website focused on sharing the insights and ancient wisdom that have collectively changed her life, in the desire to make a meaningful impact on yours. Trained at Coach U and having completed a year long training with Bob Proctor, her mission is to encourage and inspire others to build the business, relationships and life they want. You can also find her on Healthy Natural Oils her new website for helping you get started with essential oils for more natural health, well-being happiness and success in your life!

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12 Comments

  • Hi Elle,

    This is an amazing statistic, isn’t it: “…70% of us seem to be afraid that we’ll get found out…” At least we can know we’re not alone in this! I absolutely love the idea of the emotional magic of seeing the possibilities! I’ve been thinking about “magic” today too. So funny how we often are in sync like that! Well, I don’t want to give up the yummy chocolate bars totally, but I definitely have cut way back. And I’m willing to let go of that fear of being found, all the way! Thanks for the encouragement.

    • It was so interesting reading this Sandra…and I think I’ll be looking at everyone with new eyes in future. I’m never surprised we’re on the same page…it happens so often, how we come to the same place from a different direction. Love the synchronicity life brings…not forgetting the magic! 🙂

  • I love your ideas on how to live a more authentic life. This makes so much sense, “Incredible emotional magic happens when you begin to see yourself clearly in a future that you are designing in your mind’s eye.” I have found that when I embrace myself, flaws and all, life is more fun!

    • I’m glad you embrace who you are Cathy, because you’re awesome! I know for myself there are more times than I’d like when I’m part of the 70% who have to ask myself if I’m suffering from that ‘imposter’ syndrome’. 🙂

  • Love this wisdom, Elle. Self-acceptance. love and forgiveness are the foundation upon which everything else is built. The “imposter syndrome” is no fun. Been there. Done that. Don’t ever want to go back.

  • Frightening, just been writing on dropping the 3 words that stop us feeling abundant. What is is that stops us from seeing the brilliance that we are- others can see it but not us- That is a very high statistic. We all need a dose of I am more than enough every day as we start the day thanks Elle brilliant.

  • Hi Elle,

    Self acceptance is the best acceptance and if we do not accept our self how we wish other will? We should treat with our self as a well wisher. Thank you for write for us another such a good and informative article.

  • Hi, Elle, living an authentic life is one of the best thing that a person can do for one’s self. Everyone is beautifully unique in their own way, authenticity definitely brings happiness. Thanks so much for sharing an encouraging post.

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