I know you’d like to live a successful life.
But maybe you’ve never dared to really try. To truly step out and take a chance. And maybe it’s because you can’t help asking yourself.
“What if I fail?”
“What if it doesn’t work out as planned?”
And even if it works out you still find yourself asking:
“Am I capable of taking responsibility for such a huge opportunity?”
These are all questions of fear and doubt and they’re going to get in the way of you and the actualization of your dreams.
The dark shadow of fear and doubt looms over you, ready to smash your dreams into pieces
If you recognize yourself here…you’re not alone.
We’ve all known fear. We experienced it when we were kids and whether you’re a teenager or in your twenties or thirties or beyond, you are bound to know anxiety and fear and maybe some things that terrify you.
No-one can escape fear.
But can you control it? Can you have some mastery over it is the big question.
Fear becomes more prominent as you grow to desire something bigger than yourself.
Agitation for a little child might be the imaginative big dark scary monster which hunts while it’s dark, but for adults, it seems like a whole different thing.
Although it’s not so different because the big dark frightening monster is cooked up in the mind of the child, and so it is with fear that we experience as adults.
It isn’t real; it is but a shadow created by our worry and anxiety.
Seneca was right when he said: “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”
Being scared is okay when you begin to accept fear as a part of your growth process; only then can you experience true freedom.
One thing to bear in mind is that fear tends to rear its ugly head when we come to the point of making a big decision (to take a new job, to start a new relationship or to take on any responsibility).
At that point, when you’re about to make a change, chances are high that you will experience fear.
Then what to do? How to achieve your dreams when fear is working hard to stop you?
How do you turn your fear and doubt into a tool towards achieving your goals?
Accepting fear and doubt
Being scared is part of being alive.
Walk through it.
Understand and accept that fear is your real enemy. Not the path you’re thinking of taking, not the risk, not the goal or dream.
And you’re never going to feel totally ready. And fear at some level will always accompany change. It’s part of the process. Part of your growth.
So step out and have a little faith in yourself. Feel your way. It’s in your willingness to live with a uncertainty that draws a little magic into your world.
“Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind” said Dale Carnegie, so profoundly.
Fear and doubt are only a state of mind
Knowing that fear will show up prepares us for handling it.
One way to do this is to determine you have mastery over your mind.
Carry the mindset that you are in control of your life, and nothing can stop you from fulfilling your dreams.
Make today the day you choose to believe that you have what it takes. That you are enough.
And what if you told yourself you’re in the driver’s seat; you’re in charge of your life?
Because the story you tell yourself when you feel fear will either make or break your ability to fulfill your dreams.
Focus on what is beyond fear
Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear. Focus on the big picture.
Marilyn Ferguson once said: “Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.”
You only need to ask a few experts to know that’s true.
Giving fear no attention at all and having your focus on what’s beyond is the key to your freedom.
Let your worries be a sign that something big is coming your way and not the other way round.
If you focus on the big picture enough, you’ll develop more hope and faith to push through whatever challenges you’re currently facing.
Use the level of your fears to measure achievements
If your fears are big, your dreams are probably big too.
Instead of fearing things in life, work on understanding them. Understanding more often means fearing less.
This will help you stare your fears down, which allows you to go with the option that scares you the most.
And once you do that, regardless of the outcome, you can look back and know the truth. There is no failure. Your dream comes true, or you learn what you need to know to take the next step.
Focus on the lessons learned not the mistakes you made, that’s how you can build a wall of experience to become better and stronger in life
Don’t allow fear or doubt to influence your direction
Ralph Waldo Emerson said “What you are afraid to do is a clear indication of the next thing you need to do.”
If you are confused, not knowing what to do, try that thing you’re so afraid of doing.
If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. At least you tried and someone said to try is better than doing nothing at all.
Because what if it does work out? You’d have cleared your confusion and have ahead of you a clear path.
Dwayne Johnson (the Rock) once told a story about how he got cut at an early stage in a Canadian pro football game.
For him, it was a moment of regrets and dark times.
But that experience lead him to more significant opportunities.
Later on, in the same city, he shot many movies; recalling later that playing in the NFL is the best thing that never happened because that got him to where he is today.
Sometimes you’re going to feel that life sucks and it’s hard to even get out of bed in the morning.
Sometimes it seems as though your dreams are shattered, you’re down and out and most importantly sometimes you’re going to be scared, but you have to keep your hope and faith alive.
If you hit a block in your career, find another way. There’s always going to be another way you know, just as Dwayne discovered.
One thing you can always count on is change will happen. No matter the situation you find yourself in today…it will change.
So never lose hope and give up. And don’t give in to fear and doubt, they are the fuel of fear. And fear stands between you and your dreams.
If you keep at it long enough, things are going to work the way you want, and it is going to be a fantastic experience.