Live life as if everything is rigged in your favour. – Rumi
In life there are things we don’t want but have to deal with, things that show up that we’d rather be without, but still have to handle.
Every one of us loses or has lost something important.
Precious opportunities, lost possibilities, time and feelings we can never get back. It’s part of life’s rich pattern.
Sadly, there are no classes for dealing with loss and helping us thrive through difficult times.
We have to deal with loss of jobs, failure in relationships, or the death of someone we love; but no one tells us how. Mostly we learn through trial and error or trial by fire!
I’ve just returned from a trip to London where I’ve been helping and supporting my brother as he deals with a terminal illness. I’m emotionally and physically exhausted but I know it’s not the load that knocks me down, but the way I manage it. And it’s the same for you.
You might be carrying a really heavy burden right now, but you don’t have to let it rob you of your joy.
I’ve been practicing accepting the feeling of not knowing what’s happening next or where I am going, and training myself to love every experience and every emotion.
It isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. I bet you know this already.
We all know it’s easy to get caught up in pending loss, or in the difficulty of any situation. And for some of us we turn inward, bottling up our emotions. Trying to hide our sensitivity or numb our feelings. And we manage it for a while.
But bottling up our feelings will eventually take its toll. We get sick or feel eternally tired for no seeming reason. Don’t do this to yourself.
1.Don’t be a lone wolf
Countless studies show that social relationships are the greatest thing since sliced bread as an antidote to unhappiness and a formula for greater well being, (read The Happiness Advantage).
If you’re feeling low or having a hard time dealing with what life is throwing your way, deepen your connection with friends or family. Reach out and allow those who you trust to support you. It’ll help you do more than survive, it’ll help you thrive.
Remember that how we view our world and experiences is largely caused by our mindset. When the going gets tough the tough need to get going…not towards isolation, but towards the healing and well being provided by friends and family.
If you truly want to lower your stress and fear and worry…don’t go it alone.
2.Not right now is ok
After loss you will discover the strength to move on one day, somehow, some time.
You’ll pick yourself up and find something beautiful to look at; the stars, the moon, the sky, the deep blue sea; you’ll lift your head, pick up your feet and move on. But it might not be right now or today.
Right now you might cry for most of the day.
Right now you might need help to sleep.
Right now you might not be hungry enough to eat.
Right now you don’t know what to do with the pain and sorrow and it’s okay.
There’s always tomorrow, or the next day or week or month.
The weird thing is that, whatever the loss, the world still keeps on turning.
Life goes on.
You might be facing a tragedy so overwhelming and huge in your world that you have no idea how you’ll keep on going. Yet you look around and everyone is carrying on as before, as though nothing’s changed.
It’s ok to fall apart, to be scared; what matters most is that you are respectful of yourself.
Every day determine your priorities and make sure nourishing your spirit and your heart is one of them.
Find the wisdom and gentleness to be good to yourself without worrying what anyone else has to say on the matter. When you’re taking care of others, don’t leave yourself behind.
4.Let it be
Do what it takes to get enough rest. Take naps if and when you can.
Everyone has their own unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” method.
There isn’t a single solution that works for us all or even in every situation, so experiment. Focus on what makes you feel calm and peaceful.
Emotions can be overwhelming, if you need help in dealing with them seek it. Don’t try to numb your pain, it needs to be felt if you’re to heal.
Forget what you’re supposed to do or say or feel, it’s time to let yourself be.
Our concept of ourself and the mindset we have towards situations determines our experiences in the world.
Within your state of mind lies an explanation for the phenomena of life. If your concept of yourself were different, you would see everything in your world differently and experience everything in the world differently.
You and I could have the very same experience but because our mindsets were different, the way we understood and dealt with the event would be different. Think of how, when witnesses to an incident are questioned, they have different ideas of what happened.
We see the world through the filters of how we see ourselves.
If your concept of yourself stays the way it is, everything in your world remains the same. We all know if we change the way we look at things the things we look at change. That’s just the way life works, use it to your advantage.
Rise to the challenge of bringing your greatest self into the world. Remember, when you take action the universe moves to support you. We’re all in it together.
If you’ve got anything to add or feel like sharing your wisdom on thriving during tough times, we’d love to hear from you.
Encourage one another.