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How To Tame Your Unruly Negative Beliefs
Oh would some power the gift to give us, to see ourselves as others see us. ~ Robert Burns
Yes I translated it from the actual Scottish which talks about gifties and gies because even I, a Scottish lassie, have to think about it and I didn’t want to impose the mysteries of the Scots language on you!
I’m nice like that.
How do I know if I have negative beliefs, when I’m not aware of them? I was asked this recently and thought it such a great question that I needed to write about it.
Whilst pondering the question the words of Robert Burns…that old Scottish poet got stuck in my head.
Rabbie Burns, as he’s known in the land of his birth, is a great reminder of how your world is exactly the way it is because it mirrors precisely the beliefs you hold. And it’s pretty easy to forget the connection between your belief and your reality.
This is because nothing happens in an instant…there’s the lag between seed time and harvest and it’s so easy to forget what was planted, until it blooms and then we get to say…what me? I chose that. Are you sure? Yep, the Universe, Consciousness, call it what you will doesn’t deliver to us anything we’re not asking for.
Save yourself
Begin to take a look at what’s happening in your life. You might not be able to pick up on the beliefs you have…but you can absolutely see the experiences you’re having. And if you don’t like them, it’s up to you to change them.
Believing yourself to be successful, you will be, because your success is supported on the inside by your belief. The day you stop believing, success just fades away. It’s the same for experiencing love and joy or health. To the degree we believe we have them ~ we do.
Nice and easy does it
Everything hinges on the fact that our life expresses only one thing. Our state of consciousness. And just as patience is needed to see the flowering of our seeds in soil, so we patiently await the blossoming of our life.
Well, some of us less patiently.
So I worked out…genius that I am…that everything appears in it’s perfect time. We’re not masters of the universe able to snap our fingers and change things in the blink of an eye.
Well, okay, I’m not. If you are, call me…seriously I need to talk to you. Right now.
Taking a close look at the beliefs we hold can be daunting, because every belief we have will always be validated by what we see in our world, so for us, it’s not just a belief, it’s a truth. Trouble is our belief system is a sort of self perpetuating cycle because our subconscious is busily reflecting all our beliefs back to us in the shape of experiences, and people and events.
That’s it’s job…to confirm our beliefs to us. And boy does it do it well, for good or ill.
Those unruly little negative beliefs will hang on like limpets if you let them, so this means that if we really do want to change our life and keep moving towards leading a life we love in every way, we need a new approach. We need to show them the door. Preferably by doing something simple.
Some of us like simple and easy. Oh yes, that would be me.
Time to stop thinking about whether our beliefs are real or not. Does it really matter? If they limit you, or hold you back then let’s get to it and change those suckers. Aaah the Americanization of Elle, who knew I’d actually have phrases like that at my fingertips? What can I say…I’m just a quick study.
Check it out
Choose a topic, money, success, career, relationships, health, spiritual growth…whatever you fancy and list ten beliefs you have about it.
Don’t think about whether they’re positive or negative or whether your friends or partners have the same beliefs. Name top ten beliefs you have about….whatever topic you choose. This is you we’re talking about. You don’t have to share it with anyone, but you need to be completely honest with yourself.
Once you have your list, take each one and view it from a new perspective.
Does it feel good, positive, productive?
Will this belief attract situations and people that bring joy and happiness or will it keep at arm’s length all the desires of my heart?
And remember, just because you believe something, which appears as real for you in your outer world, it doesn’t mean that it is true. And if it isn’t really true, that makes it easier to choose a different and more supportive belief.
Is my life real
Ask yourself:
Does everyone believe as I do?
Does everyone see the world in the same way as me?
What about the people who don’t believe as I do…how/what is their experience of life?
This doesn’t make other people right or wrong, it just allows you to see your beliefs from a new perspective. And you get to see that none of our beliefs is absolute…phew. That’s good news. That means it’s easier to jettison the ones that don’t feel good, that are pushing away the great things. Not that I’d know anything about that of course. 🙂
And yes, this takes courage and a bold heart and a willingness to ignore what your senses are currently telling you. But remember, your experiences can only be reflections of your beliefs. And the way to change the events of life is to have a new belief or two. Hey, we can start small.
Starting small doesn’t mean it’s something we do every now and then, we’re called upon to practice daily, because repetition is key. And yes, it is a challenge, and you have to ask yourself if you’re up for it. But as soon as you begin to manifest new experiences, the natural joy and delight you’ll feel makes the waiting and the practicing and the faith so worthwhile.
The life you love awaits you…and only you can bring it into being. No-one can do it for you. I say let’s go for it.
What say you?
Let us know in the comments below what you’ve discovered about your beliefs. Are they holding you back or moving you closer to your heart’s desire?
As always thanks for stopping by and we always appreciate your sharing. 🙂
Encourage one another.
Love Elle
I say I agree. The more we believe in something they more possible it appears. This can be good or bad, of course. But regardless it determines our confidence in the reality of manifesting an idea. If you believe you can you will try harder and with more assuredness. If you only somewhat believe then you might try but do so with timidity which causes you to question, flail and flounder a bit. If you don’t believe at all, you never make a start or you fear it. Your belief supports your actions and your action confirms the belief. It’s nice though when we life shows us our true colors. Such as when we are only aware of a belief we have in our mind, but our subconscious has a more positive desire going on and we succeed in spite of our selves because deep down that is what we wanted, but doubted, to believe consciously. Then we experience a radical reality shift that can spur so many changes.
Great points Lee…there are times when we have more than one belief operating…will be telling a story about that soon. And our sub-conscious always outpictures the strongest feelings we have. 🙂 Like the radical reality shift phrase, it sums it up so well.
This is so true! Many of us hold beliefs we are not even aware of, and if we are aware of them, we don’t question them. Your process creates a safe place to look honestly at our beliefs and to evaluate them. This is where true happiness starts.
Thanks Galen for your wise words – you always add so much to the conversation. 🙂
I like the quote from Burns about being able to see ourselves as others see us. When others are honest with me about how they perceive me, what I learn is that they are usually a lot better at seeing my gifts and the contribution I make to the world than I am.
Isn’t it great Chris that if we would just believe in the wonderful beliefs that others hold of us…our entire world would blossom and bloom even more. 🙂
Thanks for the post today. Felt today was difficult to have any confidence in what I know could do and have been better in the past. Your post has given me some lift, and assured me I’m human but need to believe in my own abilities. I need to change how I perceived myself.
Hi Japhet and welcome to the conversation. You are so right…and it’s true for us all…we have days when – well we have days. I’m truly happy that what I wrote resonated with you and perhaps encouraged you to remember the amazing, powerful person you are. 🙂
“This takes courage and a BOLD heart” , right you are !
It takes some daring and some relentlessness but the results are amazing. Our current lives are proof of the connection between our thoughts and our daily reality. Armed with that proof, if we are brave and tenacious enough, we can use the techniques you outline in your article and experience the life of our dreams.
Thank you.
Write on, Elle !
Oh so true Joseph, we do get to experience the life of our dreams…but…hate to use that word…but it’s entirely up to us. We don’t have any outside helpers, but equally we don’t have any outside detractors, unless we let them in. 🙂
Beautiful post, Elle. It does make good sense to look at our beliefs and see if they really do match up with our reality. When we examine our inner thoughts, we discover who we really are.
So true Cathy – you really ‘get’ the way life works so well. Thank you for joining in the conversation, loving hearing your perspective. 🙂
YES YES YES!!!! Just in the past few weeks I’ve discovered this same truth – the world is as we believe it to be. Change your beliefs and you change the world as you know it.
And reading your article is just more reinforcement to this lesson I’ve learned.
Another interesting discovery I’m made as a result of changing my beliefs is you just start feeling better. I had no idea that the old beliefs I had were in essence the root of my depression. Now that I repeat my new beliefs constantly throughout my day (for example: “My life is easy, fun, exciting, and full of love.”), I simply FEEL so much better inside even though my outside situation is still the same. This has allowed me to fully understand the concept of your happiness coming from within. I have complete faith though that any day now my external experiences will start reflecting my new beliefs.
But I simply love having recently learned this lesson and then stumbling across your blog proofing it to me even more.
Thank you!
Lauren
Hi Lauren, thanks for visiting and more importantly sharing your new awareness. It’s always so encouraging to hear/see how using these principles make our life soooo much better and greater and more wonderful. I’ve always said (learned from Neville) that feeling is the secret. If you feel good when you experience what you want, then the opposite will work too, feel good first and experience what you want. So stick with feeling good kiddo…and then let us know the great things had happened. Woohoo. 🙂
Should you listen to how other people perceive you? That a tricky question because not everyone is honest and people tend to see others through their the lens of their own eye. I think you could talk to yourself and say affirmations for years and unless it gets through to the sub-conscious mind nothing is going to change.
Hi Kathy – it really doesn’t matter much how others perceive us…at least in terms of how the laws of consciousness work…unless I want to and am willing to accept and believe their opinions. Our sub conscious mind operates on what we believe to be true and as you rightly say unless our sub conscious accepts whatever techniques we use to get through to it, nothing changes. So, if you don’t believe in affirmations – they won’t work for you.
We have to be self persuaded before our sub conscious can swing into action.
I’ve said it before and I’m happy to say it again…’cos it reminds me too. Feeling is the secret. Our sub conscious responds to how we actually feel, not what we say. Pretty good news…let’s keep it effortless.
Hi Elle, I once made a list of beliefs around money, and I believe I wore out at #63. It’s amazing what we hold in here that we don’t even know is lurking!
That’s amazing Julie, that you were able to get to 63…and you’re so right…unless we’re paying a lot of attention to EVERYTHING that’s going on in our world it ‘aint easy to tell. 🙂
Once again, we’re so nicely in sync. 🙂 The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of my own arm.
My philosophy.
Thank you Elle!
I like your philosophy Vidya…as I bet do many who read your comment. 🙂
Holy smokes Elle…about the list and the beliefs shall I start with technology??
I’m getting better but I’ll bet still 7 of 10 aren’t good. Thanks for the exercise. I’m off to do my writing. I have work to do! xo
I’m with you on that one Tess. I love google, it helps with so many questions…and I always have tons of them. I think my belief is that google is my little helper. 🙂
Fabulous post Elle.
Especially your idea about listing the top ten beliefs about money, success, career, relationships, health, spiritual growth.I actually read your post several times over!
Life truly does unfold in proportion to our own beliefs.We indeed are the captains of our souls,however cliched that may sound.
As they opened the Tomb of Hermes they found an inscription saying ‘As Within So Without”.And the Wise Ones often say “you carry heaven and hell within you”.
Achievers actually tap into the limitless potential within themselves;the same potential that we all contain latent within our inner selves.
While committing yourself to increasing your capability, stop imposing self generated limitations.Some limitations are figments of imagination;constraints of education, culture,gender, age, time, environment, or history,are rusty barriers. They have been broken in the past and will continue to be trashed in the future as well. No champ ever stopped at imaginary obstacles.
Thanks
Mona
Thank you Mona for sharing your thoughts so openly. You have some great turns of phrase…I found myself saying, I wish I’d said that more than once. 🙂
Love the exercise Elle, I know I still have work to do as just yesterday Des picked me up on my language which is also all about negative- may subconscious belief I hold about me! xxoo
Oh Suzie isn’t it great to have an amazing partner who’s willing to remind you what you take a shift of the path you’ve chosen to travel. I know there are some who take offense at this, but I’m like you, so grateful for the reminder, because I think we’re all works in progress. There’s always that next level of living. 🙂
Great article Elle…
Hoping you and your readers can give me some feedback about an ongoing issue my hubby and I have. * Well actually it’s my issue really as he thinks his MO is fine!
He scans the world through the lens of ‘what could go wrong’. For example, whenever I come up with an idea his immediate reaction is ‘why it won’t work’ – never ‘great idea’. I find this really deflating. He claims it’s a male thing; as a man he does this as a protective mechanism – he then is ready with the answer should a problem arise. I have said “we don’t live in a cave now – you don’t have to protect the entrance”; but he feels he does, even after many conversations and sending him articles like yours. He says once he knows he can handle the negative fallout of any situation then he can look at the positive…
I, on the other hand, am super keen to view the world through a positive lens, as you discuss. Expect the best and handle any ‘worst’ if it shows up. I believe ‘what you think is what you get’. So how do I resolve this issue? If we didn’t live together I would say he is totally entitled to have his own MO when it comes to thinking….BUT I feel if I am positively manifesting great results, while he is marinating in ‘the worst case scenario’ then we as a couple are cancelling each other out, so to speak?? True we have had some good fortune BUT it feels like it’s from my constant hard work rather than flowing to us with ease…my preferred MO. I feel if we were both manifesting the best results we would get ahead with less stress and more ease?? What do you think??…
Hi Lindsay, I’ve seen this occurring with others too, so if it’s any comfort you’re not alone.
I have a challenge for you if you’re willing to accept it. Given that we don’t get to change other people, just our perception of them, unless of course they already have what we believe about them in their consciousness, how about seeing your hubby in a different way. How about seeing him supportive of you and your beliefs, manifesting things happily together with ease and grace. How about being able to live imaginatively in your happy ending and watch what happens.
As the great manifestor that you seem to be, focusing on what you want, rather than what is, probably comes fairly naturally to you now. And isn’t this a fun challenge?
I’m imagining good things here Lindsay and I’m a pretty good imaginer!
Hope you keep us posted with your progress…and keep your eyes open for those little signs of land that show you changes are happening. 🙂
Hi Elle
I am willing to try what you suggest. It makes sense and sounds like a great idea. I realized, as I read your answer, that I have slipped into looking for what I don’t like waaaay too much. I will recalibrate my radar and start focusing on what is good and working well. And as you say visualize the best scenario and outcome. Many thanks for the reality check; and I will keep you posted. cheers, Lindsay
I’m excited to hear from you again on this topic Lindsay…can’t wait to see the ‘signs of land’ showing up. e-hugs. :_)