[success] It’s in giving that we receive. ~ St. Francis[/success]

My heart sank.  I recognized I’d fallen short of the ideals that society held up to me as the true definition of success.

I was standing in line at the grocery store surrounded by magazines and newspapers telling me how to be more like this super model, or this celebrity, or this entrepreneur.  And…gulp…I wasn’t.  Something must be wrong.  Right?

What’s in your subconscious?

We live in this world where we’re constantly being told we need more money, need to be better looking, in better shape, be more successful…and we need to do more in order to accomplish these goals.  We read articles in magazines, or see stuff on the television,  telling us what we should be doing, or how we should be living our lives and we just accept it, totally unconsciously.

And once accepted, it becomes processed by our subconsciousness mind and gets displayed in our world for us to experience and everyone to see what we’ve accepted as true for us.

As if our lives aren’t already complicated and full enough, as if our only success in life is about how thin we are, how celebrated we are, how good looking…not that I’m averse to being all those things, bring them on and watch me smile.  And I’m a great believer in the adage that your success can help many, and your failure helps none.  But there’s more, so much more that defines who we are and what success means to us.

Who are we as human beings?

How helpful are we to others, how awake is our heart, how kind can we be, how can we reach out and touch someone else’s heart, what can we do to ease our friend’s pain and anguish.

We’re all busy with the business of life, but being a successful human being is an important part of our personal growth and development and our constant pre-occupation with society’s definition of success brings only fleeting happiness.  Being of service to others and helping one another brings with it long lasting joy, peace and contentment.

And it all begins within.  We need to first appreciate ourselves…stop judging ourselves based mostly on other people’s opinions and life views.  Before we can express kindness, gentleness and love to others we need to develop it in ourselves.

Acknowledge yourself

If you would but acknowledge, hey I’m not perfect, and it’s okay.  If you could but see that there’s enormous value and beauty in you right now, just as you are.  If you begin to practice self-appreciation you’ll be more able to support and love others based on the innate goodness you’ll discover inside you. 

Loving yourself isn’t vain, it’s a necessity.  It’s as necessary as the air you breathe and the food you eat.  If on a daily basis you would allow yourself to accept who you are, and let go of any self judgement, something wonderful will happen within, you’ll flower and bloom, and grow in this ever-present atmosphere of love and acceptance.

Our life is a wonderful gift and part of living consciously is to be thankful and grateful for it. One way to express our gratitude is to recognize and acknowledge that we are blessed and overflowing with riches and joys, no matter how limited our current situation seems to be.

And we reach out to others, to lend a helping hand, because we want to, because we can.

Let your heart be your guide

Our heart will guide our way, maybe we just need to have a broad shoulder, or lend an ear, donate a little time or money and we do this ever grateful for the gifts we’ve been given.  And we blossom and bloom more as we’re nourished by our giving.

We lose our sense of separation, moment by moment, act by act, as we encourage and help one another and we receive yet another gift, a wonderful sense of fulfillment that remains with us all our days.  It becomes our legacy.

Celebrate yourselves, your oneness and you won’t need magazines in grocery stores to tell you how to become successful.. it’s who you always were.

You’re a gigantic success, just as you are right now.  Smile.  Breathe.  Bloom.

[success] Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow men. ~ Mohandas K. Gandhi[/success]

Would love to hear from you wonderful ones in the comments below.  Share your successes and encourage us all.

Encourage one another.
Love Elle.

Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Beautiful piece of writing and message, thank you!

    • Elle

      Welcome Sarah and thanks for joining this conversation – I’m happy you enjoyed this post. 🙂

  2. What a beautiful post, Elle. The truth is everything stems from within, if only we would pause, look and cherish ourselves.

    Reading your post gave me a warm feeling. One thing that ails all of us at some point or other is that thought we’re not good enough, and this holds us back. Overcoming this is the key to success.

    Love you. Vidya

    • Elle

      Hello Vidya…it’s so interesting what’s in our consciousness. During the writing of this post I met a woman who was practicing everything I was writing about…she brought tears to my eyes with her stories…joyful tears. If ever I needed a reminder that what was at the forefront of my awareness would show up in my world this was it. 🙂

      Thank you beautiful Vidya for all your encouragement…you are practicing exactly what I’m preaching here. 🙂

  3. I love this Elle and practice the concepts in my own life. I’m finding it frustrating to be close to someone who judges themselves harshly and finds self-love so difficult. It’s as if they’re willing their lives to be difficult. I know I can’t change other people. I can only be there for them.

    Thank you so much for sharing this!!

    • Elle

      Lovely to hear from you Paige. And I hear you! I’ve found the best thing I can do for others is to imagine them being happy. If they are able to accept this at a sub-conscious level, it’ll make a difference in their life…if not…it simply adds more happiness to mine. 🙂

  4. Loving ourselves, just as we are, and being grateful…it all stems from there. Thank you for the reminder, Elle.

    • Elle

      And thank you for joining the conversation Jonathan…self-love and gratitude definitely radiates out into our world and fills our consciousness and bring us more things to love and be grateful for. Gotta love it. 🙂

  5. Hi Elle,

    There is so much pressure from the the media to look and act a certain. It is very harmful to young girls growing up and trying to find themselves to have to be compared to the models on the magazine covers. It is harmful to adult women as well. As you said, we are enough just the way we are, and we need to tell give each other that message. Our daughters need to hear it often. Thanks for sharing the insightful post!

    • Elle

      You’re so right Cathy…we have to be so careful as to what we’re saying ‘yes’ to without even being aware. We need to guard our minds, so that the only thing we’ll entertain are the thoughts and ideas WE choose. 🙂

  6. One important message in Life,I believe, Elle…don’t listen to others (unless you have asked), listen only to yourself
    be good to yourself

    • Elle

      I like what you say David, don’t listen to others, unless you’ve asked. Great advice. 🙂

  7. Great message today, Elle! I agree most with what you said here, “We need to first appreciate ourselves…stop judging ourselves based mostly on other people’s opinions and life views. Before we can express kindness, gentleness and love to others we need to develop it in ourselves.” So very true! Great observation, and wonderful lesson here today. Thanks for the continued inspiration! 🙂

  8. It’s true, I think — treating myself with kindness is not a luxury but a necessity, both in terms of the quality of my own life and the impact I have on others’ lives. I’ve come to believe that, the more compassion I’m showing myself in any particular moment, the more others around me will be able to relax and have compassion for themselves, even if we don’t say a word to each other.

    • Elle

      Absolutely Chris…it’s fascinating to see how we radiate all that we are onto the world around us. And you’re so right when you say not a word needs to be spoken. The energy of who we are is transmitted and received and the greater love and respect we have for ourselves is what are able to share with our fellow man. I love the way this works. 🙂

    • Elle

      Thanks Tess. As a recovering perfectionist it’s a great affirmation for me – so liberating!

  9. i think society’s definition of success is so warped. it shouldn’t be about climbing the ladder :/ beautiful writing, and whole heartedly agree

    • Elle

      Thank you Janet, and a very warm welcome to the conversation. 🙂

Pin It