Stopping being sad and starting to feel happier isn’t a one size fits all.

And to many people, the secret to a happy life lies in fitting into society and subscribing to its unconventional dictates. Happiness is pegged on other people. We strive to impress other people and find favor in their eyes, with the hope that they will help us shake off the feeling of sadness.

We value happiness too much that we leave no room for sadness; we try to keep up an impression of positivity and happiness even when we shouldn’t. We couldn’t be more wrong.

Sadly, constantly trying to be positive and happy isn’t realistic, it is draining, and it only intensifies your feelings of sadness.

It puts you in a fictional bubble that hinders you from finding your real path to happiness.

That is why you need to stop suppressing the feelings of sadness, frustration, and anger and instead allow those feelings to organically morph into resilience and happiness. This post explores 5 ways through which you can stop being sad and start feeling happy.

Allow yourself room for being sad

This is the bottom line: Being sad could be negative, all right, but it is a feeling that every normal human being has to experience occasionally. It is an important feeling in your life as it helps you discover yourself and find out the things you like and those that you don’t. The biggest blunder you can make is to bury it in your heart and pretend that it doesn’t exist. 

Feeling awful after losing your job, a loved one, or when you are betrayed by a friend is an opportunity for you to learn, grow, and heal. It is only through hurting that you find true healing. Numbing your pain through binge-shopping, countless tequila shots, and engaging in activities that enable you to avoid sadness altogether will only exacerbate the problem.

Embrace your sadness through the discomfort and pain that it precipitates.

Find your purpose in life

If you don’t know what to do with your life, if you are feeling lost, or if you feel generally bored with everything and everyone around you, don’t panic. We all have felt that way at some point.

Of course, being stuck in life will make even the most resilient people break down making it easier to move into a place of being sad. However, you can easily shake that feeling off by reassuring yourself that your life is so important. 

Stop thinking about the setbacks you’ve had in life and focus on the things that you are good at.

If you have a family, think of how important you are in your kids’ lives.

Think of that one moment you helped someone in need; that one day you took part in charitable activity.

You are alive because someone needs you. Your country needs you. The world needs you. These are the thoughts and reassurances that will help you find your purpose in life. In this context, it would be also beneficial to approach a life coach, who could help you with guidance towards finding your purpose in life. 

Create a safe space where you don’t allow in the feeling of shame 

People around us bring some level of comfort and happiness in our lives. They challenge us to grow and become better versions of ourselves. But there should be a limit to the extent that their influence goes. You need to stop trying to belong and start appreciating you for who you are.

Create a safe space- be it in the office or at home- where you shut out everyone and focus on you. This is the space where you stop wanting to be understood or loved or appreciated in order to be happy: A place where you feel authentic without needing to pick the sense from the nonsense.

If you love food, invest in kitchen remodeling and  make your dining area your happy place. Transform your bedroom, living room, and everything around you in the best way you know how without allowing feelings of shame to dictate what you can and cannot do. 

Cultivate in your high-value traits

Gratitude, compassion, humility, enthusiasm, responsibility, and any other high-value trait will help you grow as a person and attract positive vibes into your life. Cultivate the traits that make you a better person, traits that help you make the world a better place. Doing good to and for humanity is a recipe for happiness. And a great way to stop being sad.

Be happy now, not only when things are going well for you

Do away with the phrase “I will be happy if/when…” 

Stop putting conditions to your happiness and just be happy. Make happiness your top priority, with or without material gains. Happiness isn’t and should never be treated like a momentary pleasure. 

Final thoughts

There isn’t a one size fits all solution to the feeling of sadness. With mindful awareness, however, you can easily detect the triggers that bring sadness to your life and quash them before they ruin you. The bottom line is to always focus your attention on you and to cultivate your desired positive qualities all the time. Happiness will come naturally to you. 


Rilind Elezaj is a devoted life coach who helps people make choices that feel genuinely right for them. He usually helps the individual evaluate their background, curiosities, passions and training so that they can choose a job, business or type of further education that helps them be successful and fulfilled. When he is not helping others, you can find him exploring the deepness of nature


  1. Great points you wrote here Riland. We all experience emotions and sometimes the best thing we can do is be still and feel them out. The one thing we want to be sure of is not to repress them within ourselves.

    Take Care

  2. can you aslo please explain how to get through a day of school while bieng sad, i really need it

    • Hi Jonny – if you can find something that feels good to think about, and keep revisiting it. That helps in my world. I don’t know your age, but I would also find someone to talk to about your sadness. Feel better dear heart.

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