[success]Recreate your life, always, always. Remove the stones, plant rose bushes and make sweets. Begin again. ~ Cora Coraline[/success]
No point in fooling ourselves.
Life can be hard.
Despair. Problems with no easy answers. Heartbreaking loss.
We never know what’s coming.
Whatever the challenge, business, personal or spiritual, unless we’re super conscious beings, tough times happen for everyone.
I can’t speak for the super conscious among us, because I personally don’t know any!
But I do know what it’s like to feel helpless in the face of disastrous problems, devastating illness, unexpected goodbyes or excruciating loss.
It’s not always easy to pick yourself up when you feel shattered and lost or when it feels like you’re sinking under decisions you just don’t feel up to making.
And no matter how strong we normally are, unexpected challenges, and tough times can leave most of us feeling insecure, helpless, paralyzed.
1. Always remember…
The times you’ve been scared and anxious before. The times you were so overwhelmed it was hard to get out of bed, yet you made it through.
The show will go on. Life doesn’t stop regardless of what’s happening to you.
I remember driving through the streets of London only hours after my husband had passed away wondering how and why the world still kept on turning.
Yet it did.
And life went on.
And eventually I picked myself up and started over.
And so can you.
Trust that you’ll survive this too.
Keep this in mind…you will make it. If you can’t believe this right now. Believe in my belief.
2. Admit you’re suffering
You don’t have to tell anyone you’re suffering when you’re filled with grief over the loss of a loved one. It’s clear to all.
What is less clear to others is when you’re suffering because you put your heart and soul into something and it went south. Or maybe you’ve been feeling sick or depressed, or perhaps the effort of dealing with a difficult issue is tearing you apart.
That’s the time we need one another.
We all need a hand to hold, especially in the dark. We need to know we’re not alone and human nature being what it is, there’s truth in the old adage a trouble shared is a trouble halved.
Funny thing is when you reach out, people tend to reach back. If things are getting you down, try it, you might be amazed at the level of support that comes your way.
3. Pushing through
Isn’t always the answer. You’ve been pushing yourself. Pushing to get over something, pushing to get through, pushing yourself to the point of physical, emotional and spiritual exhaustion.
You’ve been using up your life-force energy without renewal or re-invigoration.
Every thought, every feeling you had in dealing with your challenges has an energy and after- effect, and if you keep on pushing you’re only creating more stress, and making the struggle worse.
You really don’t need that.
Give yourself a chance. Step back. Give yourself time to refresh and renew your life-force energy.
4. Rituals and recovery
During my most trying times, I created rituals to follow which gave me room to breathe. And I continue to use them today whenever problems arise, or I’m stuck and can’t seem to pull myself out of a state.
I listened to healing words, read uplifting texts and took walks in nature. Mostly at the same time every day.
Creating habits that managed my low emotional and physical energy meant I created comfort for myself.
It was my recovery phase.
Whatever troubles or problems you currently have, keep the faith. Your most difficult moments can lead to your greatest hours.
This might be a difficult time. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.
The time will come when you’re ready to pick up the pieces, when you’re ready to say ‘ no matter how difficult this is’ I’m going to move on.
And you will.
5. Key to momentum
One day at a time. One moment at a time you can build yourself back up. Do what needs to be done today, don’t focus on tomorrow or next week.
Your future won’t arrive all at once, but steadily one day at a time. And for now, just getting through the day is all we can ask.
The truth is nothing lasts for ever, including pain.
Even your darkest moments only last for so long. So it’s important that you don’t use all your energy to hang on to the past. Feel it, without getting lost in thoughts of why this happened to you, and then reach for that little whisper of hope that says you will be okay.
6. Spiritually speaking
It’s hard to believe in something better. It’s hard to believe that things will get easier because we can’t help but view our world through our current lack, or loss, or limitation and naturally from that perspective, it seems impossible.
But you are more than physical, you are a spiritual being too.
The secret is to remove your attention from your present reality
Simple. Every day take your attention from the outer world of reality, and using the power of your imagination, see yourself experiencing the ideal you desire.
Breathe deeply. Inhale fresh life giving energy.
For a few moments in time you and your ideal are one. For a few moments, in your sacred space, believe you have something that’s infinitely more powerful than any problem or heartbreak.
Dare to believe and you’ll become a magnet for miracles, for that new state of mind that, right now, only exists in your imagination.
You’ll be picking yourself up and starting over one step and a time, and eventually, when you look back, you’ll see you climbed a mountain.
Do you struggle with picking yourself up and starting over? Have you reached out, or created rituals to help you?
As always, encourage one another
18 thoughts on “How to Pick Up the Pieces When You Feel Helpless And Lost”
Once again you have hit the nail on the head. Thank you for all you do!
Hi Sandy and thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it. More than you can know. 🙂
Your words are always exactly what I need to hear and always start my mondays off with a sense of comfort, hope and motivation. Thanks Elle for your inspiring words
Awww Kelly, you’ve honestly made my day. I so appreciate YOU. 🙂
Another excellent article, Elle !
“Admit your suffering” – my mother always stressed to us children – “never worry alone” – you would have been great pals with her.
When I find myself in the occasional energy/emotional desert , I turn to laughter . . . laughing at myself for feeling so puny . . . laughing at myself for neglecting all my “blessings” and focusing on my “lackings” . . . and before you know it I’m rallying again !
“For a few moment, in your sacred space” – just beautiful !
Write on, Elle !
Hello Joseph, goodness me you are always such a source of wisdom for us all. What a cool idea to ‘laugh’ it totally changes the energy of the whole experience. I shall practice this my own self! 🙂
Hi Elle, very inspiring post! In the past, I turned to creating a ritual of yoga and meditation when I was going through a rough time with my job. It took time, but eventually I started to notice that creating that small space of time in the day where I blocked out all the petty problems I was facing helped me to see that there was a lot more to the world than those petty problems. Today, things are better and I continue to practice yoga and meditation. They keep me grounded throughout whatever may arise throughout the day. Thank you for sharing your inspiring words!
Hello Annie, another wonderful One with such wisdom. I’m so grateful you take the time to share it with us. We have much to learn from each other. 🙂
Very inspiring article! Thank you for sharing! Keep up the good work!
Glad you liked it Human Diaries! 🙂
I like a phrase, Robert Preston says in the film of the same title. FINNEGAN, BEGIN AGAIN. It works like an automatic reset button for my spirit and helps me rally my inner and outer forces to try again.
Hello Mary…I like that idea…having a phrase that acts like a reset button. Thank you for sharing it. 🙂
Ur words have been really motivating me as u said I hv created this ritual to read ur writings and yes it works.looking forward to connect with you
Hi Angel…I’m so happy to hear that you feel motivated. May you use your motivation to create the best life possible for you. You deserve nothing less dear heart. 🙂
Thank you for this. I came across this pafticular article the other day. It is now on my bookmarks bar and I’ve read it every day. You have given me strength to at least try. I am just sick and tired of being so lost. I know I deserve better and need to stop denying myself happiness due to my loss. So thank you, ElleSommer. May God Bless you for all the work you do to help others xo
Hi Martha…I’m so happy that this article has helped you to remember your value and hopefully how necessary you are to our world, with your special gifts and talents that nobody else on the planet has in quite the same way that you do. 🙂
I almost took my life last night. I still might? My husband of 42 yrs has had an affair. My son is dead as well as most of my family. I am disabled professional. I have absolutely no one in my life that I can trust.
Safety is my number one need from a horrible childhood. I just don’t want to continue. I’ve had a life of great pain.
I am a good person and always help others. I don’t understand, all my trauma.
Hi Rosebud..I’m so sorry to hear you are in such emotional pain my dear. Please do reach out to a specialist to help you through this difficult, sad and troubling time in your life. I’d like you to remember that we all need different kinds of help at different points in our life and I wish for you someone who you can reach out to who will support and guide you. Meanwhile my prayers are with you.