Let’s face it forgiveness isn’t the easiest thing in the world.  Someone has done something that hurt you.  And your mind won’t allow you to forget it.

Or you are feeling guilty over something you said or did.  Or you blame yourself for something and once again your mind won’t allow you to forget it.

We’ve all experienced how hard it can be to let go and move on.

Which means you’re continually allowing your past to dominate your life.  And you end up not doing the best you can with the life you’re living right now.

Thoughts that constantly reinforce your painful experiences like anger, resentment, or even the shame of guilt can and will dis-empower you.  And they don’t even exist in your current reality.

So what to do?

Simple…find a way to release them and create a space of inner peace.

Simple doesn’t always mean that it’s easy, but having a little help to separate yourself from the inner workings of your mind is a good place to start:

Here’s 4 forgiveness techniques to bring you a clean slate and help your heart to let go of pain, anger or the shame of guilt.

1. Be aware of your thoughts

Separate yourself from your thoughts and feelings and pretty soon you’ll begin to realize that YOU are not your mind. 

And guess what?  As you keep separating yourself from your mind, a big shift happens.

Over time those old patterns of thoughts lessen, your sense of self-worth will rise and you will find it easier to choose thoughts of greater love and compassion, and yes forgiveness.

2. Focus on love and forgiveness becomes easier

Who hasn’t gone through times when we feel sorry for ourselves, allowing resentful or angry or hurt thoughts of the past to dominate our present.

This never makes anything better.  It will never bring anything of any value to the life you’re living today.

Turn instead to love.  There’s plenty of things in life that you can love.  Putting your attention on the many facets of love that abound in life, allows you to see them.

Simply filling your heart with love for your life, for the gifts of nature, for the beauty that is you prevents your mind from focusing on the pain of the past.

A heart overflowing with love is far more powerful than a mind filled with thoughts of anger or retribution and we both know that it feels so much better.

3. Use the power of perspective for forgiveness

Accepting that stuff happened and can’t unhappen might be a little easier if you look at it from afar. 

Imagine yourself somewhere in your future.  A wiser, more seasoned you looking down on the current you swirling in the sea of life.

You watch yourself letting your mind trap you in those thoughts of anger, resentment or guilt.  You see yourself learning and growing and becoming the person you are choosing to be.  The one living a life where you can easily embrace happiness and experience inner peace.

And from your new perspective you begin understand that, if you change the way you see yourself and others, a bright new life of unlimited, amazing potential can be yours.

You now see there is great value within your new perspective and forgiveness becomes the way to change your memories of the past into a fresh hope for the future.

4. Create a nightly ritual

Each night before you drift off to sleep fill your mind with thoughts you have deliberately chosen.  Thoughts like the I AM statements.

Such as:

  • I AM a loving person
  • I AM a forgiving person
  • I AM a powerful person
  • I AM learning and growing every day
  • I AM patient and kind with myself and others
  • I AM leaving my past behind
  • I AM accepting that I did the best I could at the time
  • I AM able to forgive others and myself with loving compassion
  • I AM happily becoming the person I choose to be

Or any other I AM thoughts that resonate with you.

And assume the feeling that whatever statements you choose to fill your mind with are already fulfilled.

This is how you program yourself before sleep, giving your subconscious mind something positive to work with, so that the next day you wake up feeling and acting in a new way.

Because your subconscious mind is the creative partner of your life, and its one and only job is to attract the events and experiences that match your predominant thoughts.

And forgiveness, becoming aware of and letting go of those thoughts that keep you firmly gripped by your past, means you are no longer continuing to re-infect yourself with the very ideas that your subconscious believes you want and is constantly working towards keeping in place in your world.

You deserve nothing less than to live in the light of your bright new life and release the darkness of past wounds and hurts and guilt.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Very helpful tips, Elle. I think, personally, being aware of your thoughts, biases, and beliefs is crucial. A lot of the time, our actions are because of unconscious thoughts and beliefs we aren’t even aware of. Extending compassion to ourselves is essential too. Your nightly ritual statements help do that.

  2. This is such a valuable post Elle! I know that forgiveness is something that people sturggle with the a therapist I counsel people daily with this very issue. But the best part is once they do, it feel like the biggest weight of the world has been lifted and they can breathe again.
    Thank you for shedding light on this topic.

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