Sometimes the hardest thing to do can be to let go. Never mind letting go with love.
Be it relationships, or anything else that bothers you, we’re all wired to put up with stuff because it can be hard to let go of people or anything else that bothers us because there are times when things stick like glue.
And that’s when we really need to let go, before they become anchors dragging us into the muck and mire. We don’t need to attach weights to ourselves for any reason.
We’re all guilty of hanging on.
Hanging on to old hurts and wounds. Hanging on to people that can only see us for the mistakes we’ve made or hanging onto things that no longer serve us. Hanging on doesn’t mean that we are strong because we stay the course, but that we’re afraid to move out of our comfort zone…because it’s well…comfortable. Even when it’s painful place to be.
Our strength comes when we not only see the need to let go, but when we have the courage to do it.
How To Let Go –
Of Being a Pushover
When you’re a truly kind and loving person who has always made excuses for the behaviour of others, you very likely prefer to say yes to no. Yet there are times when you need to say no and stand in your own integrity.
Someone around you isn’t happy with what you said or what you did. In the past you might have apologized profusely for offending someone and picked up their unhappy and hurt energy and made it your own.
They walk away feeling so much lighter and better. You, on the other hand have just tied another weight around your ankle.
Let that habit go…it isn’t serving either of you. You can be sorry for the pain they’re feeling, but you don’t have to accept the bag of poop they want to pass over to you.
When anyone wants to ‘clear the air’ or ‘set things straight’, it’s usually, not always, but usually, code for…I have a bag of some nasty substance that I’m carrying around and it’ll make me feel so much better if you take it off my hands, because after all it’s your fault that I feel the way I do.
We all feel the way we feel because of the way we think about things. Our perspective determines our attitudes and our feelings.
Great question to ask: “What would you like me to do with this information?”
Don’t allow anyone to persuade you that their feelings are more important than yours.
How To Let Go –
Now we’re in the situation where someone has hurt us, or we’re angry about something.
We hold on to all the perceived slings and arrows, running events over and over in our minds, sometimes newly minted events or those from the far distant past and in the process we’re punishing ourselves.
A mind saturated with wrong doings and images of wounds and hurts can no more create or manifest anything of value than something falling from a great height can violate the laws of gravity by turning upwards.
We’re all subject to the laws of nature. And if we fail to see how our beliefs influence our thoughts and our choices it’s all too easy to miss the opportunity to move forward; to let go and create something much brighter and bigger.
The thing about life is it always brings us things that allow us to look really closely at who we are.
Look straight into the fire and remember that if we replay unhappy incidents in our mind, or feel that we are hard done by, or feel sorry for ourselves, we hand over our power to something outside of us.
Yet we all have the ability to choose our responses. Sometimes we simply need to give ourselves the time and chance to respond rather than react in the emotional moment.
Great question to ask: What would my life be like if I responded instead of reacted? Try and see what it would feel like if you chose your response and gave up focusing on unhappy experiences.
How To Let Go – And Let God
This is an oldie, but still a goodie.
In my own life, it wasn’t until I reached the point where I ‘knew’ that it wasn’t me, Elle personally, that was the manifestor in my life that it all made sense. I’m most definitely the director and the actor, but it’s the Spirit, or the divine within that moves things into form.
I could never get my head around the idea that I, with all my flaws and imperfections and fears and doubts, was a creator. Oh, I wanted to believe it. But deep down, I wasn’t too sure.
Until faith entered the equation. Once I reached the point where it was really clear that I truly have an inner power that does all the heavy lifting, manifesting suddenly became easier and the means of how to let go became clear. A brilliant light went on in my mind, illuminating my life in ways that would never leave.
And whilst I say that this inner power we all have access to, might be the essence of our being, the actual creator in our life, we have to play our part in setting the creative process in motion.
Let go of:
Your thinking about the situation. Whatever it is you think about your current experience. Whether you’re thinking is all over the place or pretty steadily focused on a single idea. Think it, feel it, and then let it go.
Separating ourselves from where the mind wants to take us is the simplest way to be able to let go of our experiences. It’s a reminder that we are not our mind. Our mind is simply a part of us, like our hands or arms or any other parts of our body.
The mind is not you, it does not have control over how you feel, unless you let it. And believe me, it will take control if it’s allowed to.
Emulate your car
I have a car where I simply push a button and the engine roars into life, doing all the things that engines need to do to power my car. And we’re required to push the button of creation and allow the creative substance to be formed from the thoughts and feelings we give attention to. Great or not so great…our choice.
We are the instrument through which Spirit operates and the ideas and beliefs and images we hold in our mind are what limits the power that flows through us. Since it’s our destiny to rise higher and higher and to bring into manifestation more of the wonders of creation, it’s necessary to let go of all the nonsense that gets in the way.
Whatever it is that you need to let go of, once you know, truly know, that it’s not just you involved in this process, but that it’s a joint venture and you have the easy role, that of pushing the button of creation, it might not seem so difficult.
This very day you can approach every experience with a new state of mind by letting go of what doesn’t serve you…and letting it go with love.
Great question to ask: Do I believe God could do this?
As always, I’d love to hear from you.
Is there anything you haven’t let go of yet? Or maybe there’s something you released and found yourself feeling so very much lighter?
Leave a comment and let me know. The more specific you can be, might just give someone else in our community the encouragement they need.
Encourage one another.
21 thoughts on “Do I Have To Put Up With This? How to Let Go With Love.”
Elle, this one hits so many of us dead center! It is so hard to let go of people, things and ways of life that we once treasured but no longer bring joy but only duty and obligation. I guess we just have to do it! It’s too bad others sometimes are hurt but as Terri Cole Whittaker used to say: “What you think of me is none of my business”!
Isn’t that the truth Dore’. 🙂
Let it go with love. I love the last two words you’ve added. It takes letting go to a whole new level. It reminds me of what I often tell my clients when they can’t get someone out of their head.
“I bless you, I release you, I set you free. I allow you to be you and me to be me.” I suppose I could even say it to a bad habit;))
That’s a great affirmation Tess and a great idea to use it for a bad habit. I like that a lot. 🙂
Once again, you are offering wisdom that is right on target. I’ve been working on letting go of someone I love who keeps making unhealthy choices in her life. I still love her but I can’t help her. It’s hard and yet I know it is the better path.
It seems that we’ve all been in this place lately Galen. For myself, I like to let go with love and see the other person with a great big happy smile on their face, knowing all is well in their world. Sometimes that’s the greatest gift we can give another. As you say, you know it’s a better path. 🙂
this post couldn’t come at a better time Elle. I have a friend who I truly love but for whatever reasons, she’s been distant the past few months. And you know me, I don’t beat around the bush, so I’ve talked to her about it, confronted her in the calmest, no b.s. way i can and I’ve been met with “reasons why” that have nothing to do with me. Reasons that I accepted the first and second time, but now, she’s outright ignoring me. I’m sure she has her reasons, and I hope I didn’t hurt her and i wish we could work it out, but communication is a two way street, I can’t do it on my own. I guess it’s time for me to let go. I love her to death but the constant rejection is causing me heartbreak. and it’s unnecessary. I don’t need it. so i’ll take your advice sis and I’ll let go with love.
Good for you Vanita. We think we’re helping by just sticking it out, but truth is it doesn’t help either one. So good for you for moving into a place where you can focus on feeling great and just letting your friend be, with love. And thanks for sharing…it’s always helpful to see different ways to deal with these situations. 🙂
Thank you Elle for this timely post. I am struggling with much of what you have described. When to hang on. When to let go. Very hard to know what to do.
I hear you Jonathan. It’s not always an easy place to occupy and there are times when it’s really, really uncomfortable. Truth be told, growth isn’t always comfortable and the best we can do is keep moving forward with as much love and grace as possible. 🙂
‘We all feel the way we feel because of the way we think about things. Our perspective determines our attitudes and our feelings.’ – Quote of the day! I’m speculating, but perhaps the reason people don’t let go is because they’re afraid where the helium balloon will land?
Having let go of things myself, I can tell you that the balloon seems to be filled with more than helium, but still floats of giving me the peace of mind that is quite indescribable! It’s a hard thing to do, but worthwhile if you can find out how, thanks Elle!
Thanks for the thumbs up Nick. I like your analogy about balloons and peace of mind. I’d put money on it it’ll resonate with others too. We all appreciate your perspective on life. 🙂
Letting go does take courage, and so often is the right thing to do. When we have our self esteem in place, we then realize that we are worth more than the way we are being treated. Great examples here of situations where one should let go. Take care! xoxo
Isn’t that the truth Cathy? Self-esteem is so important if we’re to be able to let go at all, never mind from a place of love. Great point. 🙂
Fabulous Elle,v just fabulous, thank you.
I don’t think I have any hurts or grudges to let go of but wow do I need to let go of how this all happens!
What, it isn’t ‘me’ that orchestrates every single event that needs to happen for me? What, it all happens for me and if it feels painful on the way then I’m being lovingly shown another error in my thinking? What, all I have to do is be clear on what I want by my thoughts and feelings and I will be taken there?
That’s a good deal!
Thanks for joining in the conversation Alba and sharing your perspective. Lol, love your tongue in cheek comments. 🙂
Now that my dad has come home, a lot of things like that have changed. Now, if I do something once, it’s fine. But if I do it twice, I feel something very terrible will happen to me, so I go back and fix it.
Letting go, even with love, isn’t always the easiest thing in the world is it Diana? For me, the best place to start is always in my imagination, so I’m imagining everything works out wonderfully well for you. 🙂
Hi Elle, these are all topics that I’ve become so passionate about in recent years. I was once skeptical, cynical, resistant and downright negative, and I look back and see how it got me nowhere. It wasn’t until I changed my attitude and my beliefs that I got my life turned around. Now, maybe the one thing I need to let go of the most is beating myself up, for being so lost and confused in the past, and also for not being perfect in every way now! Sometimes I have the thought that now that I know better, I should therefore be so much better!But what I have learned to do is not resist. To just allow whatever comes, with the understanding and faith that it will pass. So I meet any negative thoughts and self-criticism that arises and I say well hello, where did you come from? It is then that I can lovingly let it go… Love your website and I will visit more often! Eric
Welcome Eric, I’m truly impressed. It takes a lot of guts and determination to move out of the well conditioned state of downright negativity. And I’m happy to hear you say you’ve stopped being so hard on yourself…it just keeps us locked in the prison of what was, or what is, and stops us from ploughing ahead with all the brilliance everyone has. Kudos to you. 🙂
I could have used this information and advice much earlier in my life! I like the car example.