Most of us are incredibly hard on ourselves when we think about our flaws or shortcomings and let’s face it we are all perfectly imperfect.

If you find yourself stuck in some struggle in life that you know can be solved but you just don’t know where to begin.

If you fear the consequences of getting it wrong, because after all, you’ve got it wrong before.

If you’ve lost faith in yourself, remember this: you will find talent, you will find genius you will find grit, wherever you look for it.

Don’t allow negativity to crush your dreams.

Don’t doubt your potential.

Don’t compare yourself to those who you think are doing much better at life than you.

There’s always someone who can do something better than we can, don’t allow it to distort the view you have of yourself.

It’s time to practice a little self-compassion.

1. Speak kindly

We know cars that aren’t maintained eventually become wrecks and homes that aren’t taken care of become run down, and the same is true of you. Maintain kind thoughts and loving feelings towards yourself.

Words have the power to build you up or tear you down.

Stop allowing the critical voice in your mind to control your life.  As you keep your mind focused on peace and harmony you quiet your inner critic.

Give yourself permission to ignore the voice in your head when it’s not speaking kindly. Give yourself permission to defy your inner critic and dream big, risk new ways of living, go after what you want, and become unstoppable.

Remember your thoughts are always trying to manifest themselves so the next time negativity speaks, reframe what it has to say.

When you hear it can’t be done, at least not by you. Remind yourself it’s just the inner critic wanting control. Think back to when something went well and acknowledge yourself for that.

I recently did something that didn’t please that inner critic one little bit.

I ate every piece of Cadbury’s chocolate in the house, setting off that whispering voice in my mind, making it plain that I should be feeling embarrassed and pretty pathetic, so naturally, I did…briefly.  Then I reframed the conversation with myself.

  “So you had a lapse in judgement. So it didn’t feel that great afterwards. So it wasn’t one of your best moments. So what!  Big deal!”  I didn’t habitually scoff every piece of chocolate in sight…the world didn’t come tumbling down. It was all okay and suddenly the inner critic lost its power.

If you’ve had lapses in judgement lately, don’t waste another minute in regret.   Whatever you did is done.   We all do stuff we really wished we hadn’t.   Everybody messes up and you forgive others all the time.  Don’t forget to forgive yourself. 

Keep speaking kindly to yourself; you as much as anyone else deserve a little loving kindness.

2. Reinvent your universe

How daring are you?

Have you allowed mental blocks to control your relationships, your career, your health and peace, your finances? 

What do you dare to believe about yourself?

If you knew, really knew, that your world was shaped by the way you see yourself, and by the beliefs you currently hold, what would you choose to accept about who you are?

If you knew that by changing the inner attitudes you had towards your self you could change the outer experiences in your world, what would you choose?

Reinvent your universe. Begin to believe nothing is impossible for you. And remind yourself of this daily and I mean daily, once every now and then won’t cut it…believe me, I’ve tried that and it honestly doesn’t work.

Acknowledge how strong you are. After all you’ve come this far, you’ve climbed many mountains and overcome all kinds of obstacles and you’re still standing.

Once you choose to see yourself in a new light, you stop worrying about all the things you can’t do and start dreaming about all the things you can.

[tweetthis]Waste no more time wondering what a great life could be. Live one.[/tweetthis]

3. Forget mastery

Think commitment. 

Are you willing to take the time each day and use it in ways that most of us won’t, in order to live the kind of life that most of us never will?

Needing to be a master of all you do creates stress, decreases motivation and makes you less likely to be happy about who you are and what you’re doing.

Think getting better. 

Excellence is reachable, perfection not so much.

Let go of the mirage of perfection and it will no longer weigh you down.

Incredible change is possible when you choose getting-better goals and accept that the only mastery required is of right thinking.  If you want to change your whole world begin with one or two positive thoughts a day.

Pay attention to the flow of thoughts you have and you’ll find, as you focus your mind on being successful by getting better at something, you’ve taken your first step towards a new, more fulfilling life.

You’re aligning yourself with the energies of abundance and you get to experience more well being, a sense of  satisfaction and even more success. It’s one of the lovely things about life.

Don’t make it harder than it need be…crush negativity as soon as you become aware of it, simply by replacing it with something more positive.

4. Spiritually speaking

Changing the thoughts you think and the feelings you feel will change your destiny. Be wise by choosing more positive thoughts and replace old negative beliefs as you become aware of them.

Your inner consciousness is a powerful force and it’s the main reason for your success or failure. And although a single thought hasn’t much power, through persistence and repetition it’s force is magnified and then it can be manifested more easily.

The happiest people feed their mind, their consciousness, with things that are lovely, that are a delight to the soul.

In fact happy people rarely allow negativity to have too much power. They never stop feeling something great is about to happen. They’re smiling at life and life smiles right back.

I hope you can follow in their footsteps.

Stop waiting for things to happen, start creating.  Remember your consciousness creates your reality and you direct your consciousness.

Never stop believing in yourself. 

As always I appreciate you being here and would love your take on crushing that inner negativity and achieving greater success and happiness.  

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. I love your advice to be gentle with ourself and your personal example. I encourage this strongly in myself and others. It rarely helps to be hard on ourself. I haven’t completely vanquished the inner critic, it can be subtle or tricky at times. But it’s not so ever-present as it’s been in the past.

    • ElleSommer

      It’s so true Sandra that the little voice of criticism can be a tricky little thing. I wonder if you’ve found as you became more aware of what was going on you found it easier to not get caught up in it’s wiley game? Would that by why it’s not so ever-present do you suppose? 🙂

  2. Elle, We are so on the same wave girl! I love What you said “The happiest people feed their mind, their consciousness, with things that are lovely, that are a delight to the soul.” So true as well as everything else in your article. You amaze me <3

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Melissa…isn’t it lovely to be surrounded by those on our wavelength. I love how love manifests itself in our world. And I so appreciate your kind words, thank you so much. 🙂

  3. Elle,

    I love this! Sometimes it is just about deciding you’re going to live a better life and daring to live a great one, imperfections and all! Of course we can all learn, grow and improve, but we are also good enough. Letting go of beating ourselves up allows us to bloom and I love that!

    • ElleSommer

      That’s so true Jessica, it is about deciding life can be so much more than mediocre, because we’re so much more than that, flaws and all. It’s so liberating to accept firstly that we have flaws and it’s ok and secondly that we can change our life one thought, one feeling at a time. ‘Aint life grand! 🙂

  4. Joseph Appaloosa

    Another great article, Elle !
    I am embracing your concept – to sweep away negative thoughts and replace them with positive, peaceful and product thoughts.
    It sounds like a fun challenge with an immediate payoff, which is a great formula for me.
    Write on, Elle !

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Joseph, always good to ‘see’ you. Let us know how the challenge goes! It’s always great to get feedback on new practices we’re testing out. 🙂

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