“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstances but by our disposition.” So said Martha Washington.”
Everyone wants to be happy. Right? Preferably right now. Who wants to wait….not me for sure.
Some years ago I was in Russia with my husband as part of a business delegation. We partners were given amazing guided tours, visiting all the usual places and some that were less than usual.
We received preferential treatment everywhere we went, since we were guests of the government, even given glasses of champagne on a flight from Moscow to Keiv, much to the amazement, or even amusement of our fellow passengers. I never did quite work it out.
I tried to always sit next to our guides to chat – not just because they did such a great job of keeping us to ourselves and away from everyone else, so we had little choice in the matter, but also because it’s always fascinating to speak to people from different cultures. I was fairly sure our hotel rooms were bugged, so they probably knew a lot about us. But that’s another story…as is an overnight trip on a train where everyone’s wallet was stolen. Well everyone in our carriage had a missing wallet, which, surprise surprise, was the entire delegation.
Back to the guides…the thing that I noticed most as we chatted was that they wanted the same things in life that we all do. They wanted to be happy.
People around the world have the same problems, and want the same things.
What are we waiting for? I say we don’t have to pursue happiness let it chase you down and jump right in your pocket.
And we can begin now.
Choose your mood
I kid you not. Stop telling yourself how tough everything is or how miserable you are. The sad fact is the world really doesn’t care. And we’re creating an energy of unhappiness to wallow in, which is okay, until we remember, that like attracts like. Ouch, more misery coming our way.
Feeling angry? Let it go. Feel it and move on.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mum used to tell us kids, it’s not what happens to you that counts, but what you do with what happens. Who hasn’t heard that one before? And the really big secret is that it’s how you feel about what happens to you that matters the most.
If you’re a complainer, give it up. If you love to tell yourself sad stories, let them go. Not the path to happiness. Oh wait, you’ve probably discovered that already.
Use affirmations
They have an impact on our physiology. Not certain if it’s true? Test it for yourself. Say to yourself a few times, I feel awful, or words that mean the same thing to you. Pay attention to your feelings, how your body feels. Are you shoulders sagging? Do you feel heavy? Now say to yourself, I’m blessed. I love my life or any other little phrase that’s positive and watch your body shift, feel a lightness of spirit. It absolutely works.
“Our thoughts are prayers, the tools that we create with. Our thoughts are prayers that Spirit resonates with. Seek a higher consciousness, a state of mindfulness, And know that God is always there, And every thought becomes a prayer.” ~ Lucille K. Olson
Focus on the good things in your life
Have you noticed that when someone’s life is ninety percent great, they’ll often spend time giving attention to the ten percent that isn’t? We all do it, don’t we? Try looking at life through a child’s eyes. It’s a wonderful adventure. The world is filled with beauty, notice it. Take nothing for granted.
“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher
Take a nap
Seriously. Or at least make sure you’re getting enough sleep. It’s called beauty sleep for a reason, it beautifies us inside and out. Lack of sleep brings a greater chance of getting sick and less chance of feeling happy. There’s research out there that tells us that plenty of REM sleep eliminates negative feelings and accentuates the positive. There’s a song in there somewhere!
Choose your friends wisely
Friends who encourage your dreams and share your values are worth all the tea in China.
Want to be instantly happy? Do something kind for your friends. Heck, do something kind for anyone. Nurture your relationships. Share your good news and celebrate theirs. You’ll live longer too…a nice little side benefit. According to recent studies the longest lived people shared two reasons why. They put their friends and family first and they stayed socially connected.
When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.” ~ Samuel Goldwyn
Forgive
Yourself and others. Be patient and understanding and hone your virtues of compassion and empathy. Lighten your heart and the hearts of your friends and family with the act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is more than a concept it’s a verb, it’s something we do. We diminish ourselves and others by holding grudges, and yet great joy and happiness await us as we tune into the vibration of forgiveness.
Recognize we’re not perfect, not you, not me, not them. Just let it go and open the channel for inner peace to flow.
“As long as you don’t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind.” ~ Isabelle Holland
Be Generous
We all view the world through different eyes; through the culmination of our very own interpretation of the events and experiences we’ve encountered. If we demand that everyone views the world as we do, then we judge. Being generous and allowing others to have their own truths as to what they see in the world, as to what they feel about the world, creates in us an appreciation for the uniqueness that is in all.
Be generous with everything. Your time, your money, your attitude, your love, your life.
Our happiness depends on the choices we make on a daily basis – perhaps it’s not so much choosing happiness itself, but that our happiness is a bye-product of all the little choices we make throughout our days.
Wishing you joy and happiness.
Encourage one another.
Love Elle
xoxo
30 Comments
I want to sulk right now. I wrote a draft yesterday so similar to this and now I gotta go change it. I am looking at you sternly, Elle, for thinking the same things.
Hmm. But I swear I wrote a post almost exactly like this. Shucks, I even had the 60-second quote in, except it was a cute poster. Oh well. We’re soul-sisters all right. 😀
Hugs! Always love to have my thoughts endorsed!
Love the header in this light. Early morning sunshine type!
Oh Vidya I’m so sorry, I know how that feels. I’ve been in the middle of writing a post only to discover someone else has just done one on the same topic, with a slightly different slant. Phooey. Definitely from the same soul tribe kiddo…and I haven’t worked out how to do cute posters yet so I hope we see yours soon! I love having a soul sister in India, it’s very cool. 🙂
Vidya,
Too funny. You know, I thought the same thing when I was reading Elle’s post from earlier in the week! I had a post idea in mind, and then she wrote about the same topic — how we are all connected. It looks like she’s got a camera into our minds. 🙂
-Victor
All good advice, especially the nap! I have started making sure that I get enough sleep at night and it has made a huge difference in my enthusiasm for life, and even in physical things. For example, I have trouble with dry eyes. If I get enough sleep it rarely bothers me, but when I don’t, my eyes are dry all day. Thanks for a great post, and apparently a timely one since you and Vidya were thinking the same thing!
Funnily enough Galen I was never able to do naps until my hubby encouraged me to try – he’s a big believer – and sure enough, just as you say getting enough sleep ratchets up the enthusiasm a ton. 🙂 Now I’m a happy napper, when I get the chance.
I love visiting your blog Elle, Your posts are always so cheerful and thoughtful. Happiness does lies within ourselves and it’s a daily choice. Love the quotes! Am sharing 🙂
Thank you Carolyn for your kind words and I think I should add – you make my world complete! Too early for horrible puns on your latest post? Sorry. 🙂
Your articles always deliver me such wonderful little nuggets that in practice deliver me such wonderful huge results. For example: ” every thought is a prayer”, I had heard and read that before but your presentation of it allowed me to FEEL it. All these small choices we select truly do result in a our way of living this life.
Thank you.
Write on, Elle !
Awww Joseph, I love that you were able to ‘feel’ the quote about every thought being a prayer. You always know the right thing to say! 🙂
This is great and isn’t it strange that no matter where you live on this planet we all want the same thing. TO BE HAPPY!
Yes, happiness is a choice. I always think of a story that Zig Ziggler tells. ‘His little brother wakes up one day late. His mother always has a half cup of coffee and half cup of milk waiting for him. This morning since he wouldn’t get up when he was suppose to he did not get his coffee. He whinned and complained. His mother looked at him and ask, “Do you want to have a good day or a bad day?”
The choice was his.
We can wake up happy or we can whin about having to get up. What ever we think our day is going to be like that is just what we get.
Thanks Elle for the reminder, I always vote for the happy day and enjoy the simple thinks and enjoy the moment.
Debbie 😀
What a great Zig Ziglar story Debbie and how great that you vote for a happy day…and I thank you for making my world a happier place. 🙂
Seems happiness is this week’s topic as I also wrote about it twice this week! But I love this post Elle, for its simplicity. I think we often make this choosing happiness thing too complicated. I’ve been practicing asking myself this one question every day, “What do I need to feel good right now?” and when I follow through I inevitably feel better and even happier.
Not always easy, but so worth the effort!
I read your wonderful posts Sandi and it’s no surprise to me that like-minded people are of the same mind, at the same time. Consciousness rules! I like your question…it fits in very well with the one I ask myself which is – okay, what DO you want? And it boils down to practice doesn’t it? And then it becomes a habit, a natural part of how you operate in the world. Love this stuff. 🙂
p.s. LOVE the new look!
Thanks Sandi – I think the designer (most definitely NOT me) captured the essence of what I’m all about. I like this reflection of my life too and can take absolutely no credit for it. 🙂
Wonderful tips here Elle. Being happy is a choice we make. When just noticing the happiness of others who are struggling or who have less, you realize you can control your state of mind. Happiness within spreads to others. Thanks for sharing your great post!javascript:grin(‘:grin:’)
Great point Cathy – I love what you say that happiness within spreads to others. So very true. 🙂
It’s funny we tend to think happiness has to be this one big thing. But really it is a combination of small things that make up the whole, like the things you have suggested.
The people you hang around, your mindset, what you are focusing on or holding onto. It’s all an important part of the whole.
I’m finding that the thing making me the happiest recently is having a goal and purpose i’m working towards every day!
-Ben
Great point Ben, happiness is sooo much more than one big thing. And kudos to you for finding what brings you joy. 🙂
Hi Elle,
I thought that you were just kidding when you mentioned that the rooms may have been bugged until I read about the subsequent wallet caper. For a time, I experienced a good deal of international travel for work, and I remember that being made to feel comfortable in the surroundings made all of the difference. One destination — Israel, a few months after 9/11 — with its tight security, armed guards outside of restaurants, and bus explosions began as a less than comfortable experience.
While I was there, sitting in my hotel room that first night – afraid to go out I thought, “What am I doing?” I was in a country that I would probably not visit again and I was wasting my free time locked in a room. I was focusing on the wrong thing. I was letting all of the dire warnings from my colleagues back at the office influence my perception. That all changed the next day when I skipped the cab ride and walked to my next meeting. It was great. I spoke with people on the street and even haggled with a vendor.
In your post you suggest that we choose our mood. The same can be said for how open we choose to be with one another. Acknowledging that, “People around the world have the same problems, and want the same things,” helps.
Of the points you made, being generous is the one that resonates with me the most. Interestingly, four of the five sources of generosity listed have nothing to do with money, but rather with giving freely of ourselves.
Wow, interesting experiences Ray and good for you, choosing what you wanted to experience. Applause, applause heading your way. Giving freely of ourselves makes a difference in everyone’s life imho. Thanks for sharing your experiences…it’s always great to hear how others are using these here life laws. 🙂
in addition to what you said Elle :
Never listen to anyone who puts you down.
Trust yourself. Consider others..
Never refer to your differences as inferiorities!
If others make fun of you, laugh with them.
great article thank yuo for these tips
Welcome to the conversation Rachid and I like your contribution…a lot. 🙂
great post Elle .
You can be a happier person happier person when you do something good for someone else. It gives you a great feeling that you can’t explain because you know you have helped someone and didn’t expect something in return.
I really like the qoutes of this post specially this one ” For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thank you so much for this great useful tips .
So true Rachid…it’s all about the energy we live in. 🙂
I am really feelin’ these posts on happiness + abundance — the info for some reason feels more solid, useful and applicable than most I come across.
🙂
Or maybe I’m imagining it 😉
Welcome Jason and thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment…you made me laugh with you’re ‘imagining it’…and I’m so happy your enjoying the happiness and abundance posts. I like writing them…feels good. 🙂
Such a beautiful piece.
Hi Franca…thank you for taking the time to comment and I’m happy you enjoyed the article. 🙂
yes ohh happiness is the key to everything in life. wow yes, just what i need. this is really going to go a long long way for me, thanks for this knowledge you have shared for us.