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Ever felt as though you were a victim of your genes, or outside forces, or just plain old bad luck?
I know I’ve felt like a victim at different times in my life and I could have given you chapter and verse as to why it was true. But it really wasn’t. And it isn’t true for you either.
It took a while for me to learn this and even longer to work out how the language of victim-hood was stopping me from getting what I wanted in life.
And even more confusing was the discovery that the language of victim-hood doesn’t just play out in the words we speak or think, but in the non-verbal communications we have. The communication of our bodies, is just as important as the way we speak.
We know that our body language expresses how we feel to the outside world, but what I had to learn, the hard way, was that it also was working the other way around. The position of my body was influencing my mind, my feelings, my attitude.
If you’re not getting what you want in life…here’s some pretty dandy (and easy) ways to change this.
Sit up straight
I know, it sounds a little weird, but honestly your mum or grandmother was right when they nagged you for not sitting up straight.
If you’ve ever found yourself slouching over your computer, or slumped in front of the tv, there’s one thing you should know, it causes stress, diminishes your self-esteem and doesn’t help you to feel good.
And that’s using body language to get what you don’t want.
If you find this hard to believe? Check out this recent research.
Act ‘as if’
If you were living the life of your dreams what would you see, who would you be with, what would your friends and family be saying to you? How would you walk?
Would you stride out in confidence, holding your head up high?
If you want to live your dreams, feel more successful, more alive, walk as if it’s true today. Do what Madonna suggests and ‘strike a pose’. You don’t have to be fake about it, just fill your lungs and stand tall. Your mind will get the message and respond accordingly.
It’s so simple that it seems like nothing. But it isn’t, it’s something, and it’s something great. And you don’t have to be happy to smile…you smile and you feel happy, whether it’s justified or not.
One of the things that probably saved me from becoming a permanent victim back in the day, was that I was a natural born smiler. Sometimes all it takes is a smile to make life look brighter. It’s amazing that the simple act of using our smiley muscles is enough to trigger happy chemicals in our brain.
C’mon you can do this…no heavy lifting involved, just the curving of your lips into a smile.
Remember that old saying fake it till you make it? There’s a lot of truth in this. The connection between your mind, body and reality is so powerful that pretty much as a magnet will draw like electrons towards it, so you will draw like things into your life by how you act, and how you think and feel.
If you want to be more confident and you determine to believe you are, and hold yourself as if you were, before too long you become it.
If you want to be more organized, successful, attractive, whatever it is, the same principle applies.
A 40’s movie star…Cary Grant…who was as charming and elegant off the screen as he was on it tells the story of how, as a boy from a poor background, he pretended to be this polished person…and acted as though he were the same person on screen as off, until eventually he became him.
Think this isn’t for you? Remember, whatever one of us can do, so can the rest of us. And yes that includes you.
It might not arrive straight away, but if in your mind’s eye you can see it, and adopt the body language of it being real, it becomes a part of your life.
Like attracts like.
You can become who you want to be, you can have what you want to have.
So get serious about your body language. This really will have an incredible impact on your health, success and well-being. Ditch the slumping, slouching and droopy lips, it’s time to get your awesome on.
Experiment and see what happens. You’ve got nothing to lose, and all those things you ever wanted to gain.
Encourage on another.