get you through every phase of your lifeGetting through life is not always easy.  Nobody told us it would be easy, but nor did they say it wouldn’t be.

Nor did they tell us that there were passages or phases of life that needed different skills, or at the very least different perspectives.

So we’re sort of asked to bite off more than we can chew without really knowing what we’re about to eat.

That just doesn’t seem right now does it?

Be you 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 or more… life is meant to be a joyful experience.  As you age you are not meant to become more wounded. You are meant to become more wise.

You are not mean to live in pain and sorrow and yet I hear and see it all the time. The unhappiness in a voice. The sadness in a face.

The variety of suffering we create for ourselves as life progresses is unbelievable.

Just to survive and exist doesn’t cut it. You deserve better.  A sense of purpose. To be engaged with life.

Yet so many have had the joy squeezed out of them and before this becomes you, maybe you should take a look at some exceptionally fabulous cliff notes to get you through every phase of life with joyfulness, to allow you to fly, to achieve your greatest self, to live your life on purpose and not merely survive.

Cliff Note 1  – Make your anger useful

We are not punished for our anger, we are punished by our anger. In other words, anger is its own karma. – Eknath Easwaran

Who hasn’t felt anger over some injustice, some hurt or frustration?  It’s an emotion of high intensity, but so is love and joy.   

[socialpug_tweet tweet=”A heart filled with anger leaves little room for the passion of love and joy.” display_tweet=”A heart filled with anger leaves little room for the passion of love and joy.”]

So use it up quickly. Use it constructively for a definite purpose. Allow the anger to flow towards something useful and it becomes benevolent.  Hold on to it and it becomes deadly and poisonous and chains your spirit to anxiety and stress.

This is something worth discovering at 20 not something you want on your bucket list when you get to 60.

This is something to get you through every phase of your life.

This is something that shows you that peace is not the absence of anger, but the presence of some greater purpose.

Cliff Note 2 – Tap into the power of awareness

The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness. – Lao Tzu

Awareness is the key to growth and change.

Without it we stand still.

With it we are able to change thought patterns that harm more than help.

And then we can change the concept we have of who we truly are.

Awareness might be a scary mountain to climb, but truth be told without it you don’t grow and you’ll be on the sad journey towards survival instead of passion.

As your awareness of your thoughts, feelings and beliefs grow, you make better and braver choices and see greater results.

Be relentless in your pursuit of awareness.  Awareness is key to living the best life possible.  It’s through the power of awareness that you connect the dots between your thoughts, your feelings and the experiences of your life.

So many wonderful things exist in your life right now, but without being conscious that they are there, you will never see them.

Imagine looking at life through a dimmer switch turned down low…you can only see so much.  Turn it up and suddenly things appear on the horizon that you never knew were there. A brilliant landscape of opportunities and possibilities.

That’s the power of awareness…when turned up high, suddenly the most amazing things become visible.

I love this cliff note from Lao Tzu.  I remind myself of it daily…because it’s easy to forget even those things that make my world a better place! 

Cliff Note 3   – You are not your thoughts

The soul has no secret that the behavior does not reveal. – Lao Tzu

If we’re to get you through every phase of your life with ease, it’s important to remember that there are no secret thoughts, or beliefs or attitudes that aren’t revealed in your behavior.

Most of us think who we really are is a secret only we know about. But even our most secret thoughts show up in the actions we take.

Remember what Emerson said?  “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”

To get through every phase of your life it’s probably a good idea, early on in life, to get some distance between you and your thoughts or emotions.

You are not your thoughts.  You don’t ever have to act on any thought you have, unless you choose to.

This is where # 2 comes in handy…your power of awareness.

thoughtsOnce your thoughts and actions become a conscious process you free yourself from the simple survival mode that you learn in your twenties, practice regularly in your thirties and forties and end up in your fifties being that person filled with wounds and sorrow.

If it sounds complicated, it really isn’t. Honestly, if I can do it (okay not all the time, but a lot of the time) then so can you.

Just choosing to think, “I am not my thoughts” (because you are so much more than that) creates a little space. And suddenly, in that little space, wham…you’ve become empowered in such a way that people think that you are some sort of super human.

But really you’re just being human in the highest and best way possible.

The idea isn’t to eliminate every negative thought you might have…who could do that?  Definitely not me.  It’s more about how you want to act despite any thoughts you might have.

Final thoughts to get you through every phase of your life

Getting through life might not always be easy.   But having a couple of cliff notes to help get you through every phase of  your life before those difficult phases sneak up on you  is something you will be eternally grateful for.  I promise. 🙂

Encourage one another.

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. All three of these are incredibly empowering realizations, Elle. I wish everyone would be able to recognize them early on in their life. What a difference it would make. Because, as you point out, when we don’t, we live in such unhappiness and suffering. And, it’s not necessary.

    I especially loved this line: “As you age you are not meant to become more wounded. You are meant to become more wise.”

    • Hi Sandra…I wish I’d learned them myself a little earlier on too! But as they say better late than never…and hopefully some younger person will take them, make them their own and switch from wounded to wise a little sooner. 🙂

  2. Great tips on creating more awareness and practicing non-attachment to our thoughts. If we can do so, our suffering will reduce. We become less reactive to the fluctuations of life.

    • Hi Evelyn…love the phrase, the fluctuations of life. You make a great point. To stay in our own inner joy and peace regardless of the outer circumstances would make for an enormously richer and fulfilling life experience. 🙂

  3. Such good advice, Elle, in general. You are right, for every phase of life.

    When we use all of our emotions as information for guidance and work with our thought, life improves! Unfortunately…or fortunately, I did not learn this valuable lesson until my 40s. But hey, better late than never. 🙂

    • You’re not alone in taking your time to learn some of this stuff of life Debbie…I’m hopeful that our children and grandchildren get it and apply it sooner than us! 🙂

  4. This is EXACTLY what I needed to read today. As I enter the middle section of my life, the word Purpose has come into my thoughts quite a bit. Thanks Elle

    • Awesome Carla…may you live on Purpose every day and may it bring you joy and wonderful experiences. 🙂

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