Forgiveness And Why It Matters.

So what happens?

 It turns out the reason we stop operating at the genius level is the learned voice of internal judgement.   That old inner critic shows up.  Ouch…so soon?

Then that darned old law of attraction kicks in.  The ability to judge far outweighing the ability towards forgiveness, attracting more unforgiveable things.

Here you are judging yourself as being not good enough, deserving of all you get, less smart than others, less attractive, less worthy, basically less everything and what do you suppose you’ll be attracting into your world.  Wonderful partners, lovely children, great friends, loving kindness, generosity of spirit….mmmm not so much.

No matter how or why that voice of inner judgement appeared, it’s sending us down the path of miserable experiences.  It’s sending us some downright mean people, and we’re going to hear hurtful things, going to be wounded in some way..and we might even be betrayed.

A true story

My friend Sarah was going through a really tough separation.  Trying to deal with it fairly, she ended up feeling bitter and vengeful, but mostly hurt.

She felt she was being unfairly treated. Her partner was telling all and sundry what a terrible person she was, and instead of a fair and reasonable splitting of assets he was trying to take everything.  

She knew that what she was feeling was toxic to her body and to her life.  

She was being eaten up by anger and revenge, but she couldn’t let go. She just couldn’t reach the place of forgiveness.

Some wise person…asked her if she could just forgive.

But he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, she said, he’s lying about me, he’s spiteful, he’s manipulative and plain old nasty.

All of these things could be true.  But this wise one…okay, okay it was my mum…asked if she’d like to sleep at night, if she’d like to feel more peace about the situation, if she’d like an easing of the tension between them.  

Because if she could begin feeling just a little forgiveness, all these things would be possible for her.

Whether her partner deserved forgiveness wasn’t really the point.  Sarah deserved it, she deserved not to live in a permanent state of upset, her stomach tied in knots, getting little or no sleep because forgiveness is not only a gift to another, it’s a gift to ourselves.  And one we deserve.

How forgiveness is better than revenge

Forgiveness of self and others is so much more than giving up revenge, it’s the awakening of the highest and loveliest part of us, our sacred consciousness.  

Forgiveness is not a moment, it’s a spiritual practice, a higher way of living.

 It’s using our imagination for the greatest good, identifying others with the ideal they would wish to embody.  We do to, and for others, what we wish they would do for us, it’s a redemptive quality that is ours to have and to give.

Forgiveness and generosity are partners in our dance of life.  

Be generous with yourself and those around you and you walk the energetic path of forgiveness.  Forgiveness stems from the heart and soul, from the truly magnificent being that you are.  We are all changed and blessed by forgiveness.

Forgiveness allows us to silence that inner critic that began scolding us as early as five.  We’re able to tap into one of the inner mysteries of life, the idea that we’re all one after all.

I have a mission for you…should you choose to accept it.

Begin to practice the art of forgiveness…I know, I know it’s a revolutionary idea!  

Begin with yourself or think of someone you can practice forgiving.  No need to speak or write or call anyone…it’s an inside job.  

It’s really easy to do…strike that.  It’s really simple to do.  Just imagine you or them being happy.  Don’t focus on your negative thoughts, send them love and appreciation instead.

It might be that something absolutely unforgivable has happened to you, that you could never let go of, and that’s your call.

Oh yes, Sarah forgave.  It took a little while, and a little persistence, but she did it for both of them.  And yes, she began to sleep a little better and her inner critic became a little quieter.  Aaah, peace at last.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle
xoxo