Forgiveness And Why It Matters.

Reading time: 4 minutes

forgiveness

Reverend Mary Morrisey  recently spoke about a Harvard Study on the Genius Mind..which I haven’t been able to find through that wonderful google machine.

Hey, apparently we all have one, a genius mind that is. Well, we all started out with one.

Apparently this genius mind operates on all modalities, takes in information kinesthetically, intuitively, intellectually, physically, and then synthesizes or makes use of that information. And a baby freely does that.

So there you have it, as a baby you had a genius mind…so what gives….where the heck did it go, because it would seem that by the time we’re five, only twenty percent of us operate at this level.  Yes, yes, I’m sure we were all one of those twenty percent.

It gets worse as we get older, because our genius mind begins to operate in new and unhelpful ways.

So what happens?

 It turns out the reason we stop operating at the genius level is the learned voice of internal judgement.   That old inner critic shows up.  Ouch…so soon?

Then that darned old law of attraction kicks in.  The ability to judge far outweighing the ability towards forgiveness, attracting more unforgiveable things.

Here you are judging yourself as being not good enough, deserving of all you get, less smart than others, less attractive, less worthy, basically less everything and what do you suppose you’ll be attracting into your world.  Wonderful partners, lovely children, great friends, loving kindness, generosity of spirit….mmmm not so much.

No matter how or why that voice of inner judgement appeared, it’s sending us down the path of miserable experiences.  It’s sending us some downright mean people, and we’re going to hear hurtful things, going to be wounded in some way..and we might even be betrayed.

A true story

My friend Sarah was going through a really tough separation.  Trying to deal with it fairly, she ended up feeling bitter and vengeful, but mostly hurt.

She felt she was being unfairly treated. Her partner was telling all and sundry what a terrible person she was, and instead of a fair and reasonable splitting of assets he was trying to take everything.  

She knew that what she was feeling was toxic to her body and to her life.  

She was being eaten up by anger and revenge, but she couldn’t let go. She just couldn’t reach the place of forgiveness.

You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well. Lewis B. SmedeClick To Tweet

Some wise person…asked her if she could just forgive.

But he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, she said, he’s lying about me, he’s spiteful, he’s manipulative and plain old nasty.

forgiveness

All of these things could be true.  But this wise one…okay, okay it was my mum…asked if she’d like to sleep at night, if she’d like to feel more peace about the situation, if she’d like an easing of the tension between them.  

Because if she could begin feeling just a little forgiveness, all these things would be possible for her.

Whether her partner deserved forgiveness wasn’t really the point.  Sarah deserved it, she deserved not to live in a permanent state of upset, her stomach tied in knots, getting little or no sleep because forgiveness is not only a gift to another, it’s a gift to ourselves.  And one we deserve.

How forgiveness is better than revenge

Forgiveness of self and others is so much more than giving up revenge, it’s the awakening of the highest and loveliest part of us, our sacred consciousness.  

Forgiveness is not a moment, it’s a spiritual practice, a higher way of living.

 It’s using our imagination for the greatest good, identifying others with the ideal they would wish to embody.  We do to, and for others, what we wish they would do for us, it’s a redemptive quality that is ours to have and to give.

Forgiveness and generosity are partners in our dance of life.  

Be generous with yourself and those around you and you walk the energetic path of forgiveness.  Forgiveness stems from the heart and soul, from the truly magnificent being that you are.  We are all changed and blessed by forgiveness.

Forgiveness allows us to silence that inner critic that began scolding us as early as five.  We’re able to tap into one of the inner mysteries of life, the idea that we’re all one after all.

I have a mission for you…should you choose to accept it.

Begin to practice the art of forgiveness…I know, I know it’s a revolutionary idea!  

Begin with yourself or think of someone you can practice forgiving.  No need to speak or write or call anyone…it’s an inside job.  

It’s really easy to do…strike that.  It’s really simple to do.  Just imagine you or them being happy.  Don’t focus on your negative thoughts, send them love and appreciation instead.

It might be that something absolutely unforgivable has happened to you, that you could never let go of, and that’s your call.

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. ~ Marianne WilliamsonClick To Tweet

Oh yes, Sarah forgave.  It took a little while, and a little persistence, but she did it for both of them.  And yes, she began to sleep a little better and her inner critic became a little quieter.  Aaah, peace at last.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle
xoxo

 

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, and yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. #forgiveness #selfimprovementblog #lettinggo
ElleSommer
Elle Sommer is the author and founder of Live Purposefully Now, a website focused on sharing the insights and ancient wisdom that have collectively changed her life, in the desire to make a meaningful impact on yours. Trained at Coach U and having completed a year long training with Bob Proctor, her mission is to encourage and inspire others to build the business, relationships and life they want. Get your free instant access to Success Simplified ebook and get the tips, techniques and secrets of successfully living the life you want.

Comment via Facebook

11 Comments

  • Elle,

    I really enjoyed this post! Your story of your friend Sarah is a perfect example of how forgiveness can heal the soul. When we hold on to a grudge, we are hurting ourselves. Often the individual we are upset at has no idea, and is not losing sleep over it. We are only causing ourselves grief when we can’t let go.

    • Welcome to the conversation Ben. What you say is so very true, some smart someone once said it’s like drinking poison yourself and expecting the other person to get sick. šŸ™‚

  • “the learned voice of internal judgement” rings so ominous and so true . . . and I agree with you, with focused practice and patience, Forgiveness quiets that voice . . . and brings internal peace . . . Thank you.
    Write on, Elle !

  • Elle, thanks for your very insightful and timely article. Timely because I am working through “stuff” and reading the quote below from Lewis B. Smedes stirred up a few things:-

    “You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well”

    I just realised that I am still not able to feel this way about my ex-wife after all these years.

    I’ll work immediately on forgiving her and others.

    Thanks again Elle.

    • Thanks for joining in the conversation Arvind…and good job you for beginning the forgiveness process. It’s all about a change in our perspective and as we move along the path of forgiveness we begin to see why it’s so necessary for our own health and wellbeing.

      Kudos to you my friend. šŸ™‚

    • I think we’re always a work in progress LSM. Whatever it is we’re doing, whoever we’re choosing to be and how wonderful that you are in the process of forgiving and wishing well. Only good things can come from it. šŸ™‚

  • I said something insensitive yesterday and it keeps coming back to haunt me even though I apologized right away. I had to clean the house today to keep forgiving myself and to feel closer to God. It was a good practice.

    Then I made a warm and nourishing soup.
    Forgiveness is vital
    Thank you for your good words

    • Hello and thanks for joining the conversation Patricia. It’s amazing how challenging it is to stop beating ourselves up isn’t it? At the end of the day it really is only consciousness operating, so I’m happy to hear that you chose to forgive yourself and nourished you with some hot soup. Sounds perfectly soul soothing to me. Got any left? Love me a little home made soup. šŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *