Ever felt as though you are not good enough?
You’re a member of a very large club.
Everybody has moments when they just aren’t feeling themselves and don’t feel good enough.
This happens to people who are always looking cheerful and happy as much as it happens to those who deal with the issue more frequently.
With so many people feeling this way, there have been numerous ways to address and help resolve this issue.
Let’s dive in and see what you should watch out for to minimise these feelings of unworthiness and how you can go about coping with those feelings to get to a better state of mind.
You surround yourself with judgmental and critical people
It is often said that you are the sum of the people you are friends with and associate with, so surrounding yourself with judgmental and critical people is an immediate red flag.
Having the people closest to you being judgmental and critical of who you are and what you do is never a good way to feel good about yourself.
People who are constantly making you feel small and bad about yourself should be avoided to help ensure you are feeling good.
Instead, surround yourself with people who want the best for you and aren’t constantly putting you down.
Your thoughts control you and create a pattern
The mind is often a mischievous thing as it has the ability to control us and alter how we feel in an instant.
Your thoughts create a pattern of negative emotions and thoughts that make you think that you aren’t able to do certain things or feel certain ways.
This destructive thought process is very harsh as it makes you think that you aren’t good enough just by reinforcing the negative thoughts you have.
The best way to overcome issues like this are to use positive affirmations such as “I can” and “I am good enough” to stay motivated.
Try increasing physical activity
No matter what you are dealing with, physical activity and staying active has been shown to help people deal with countless issues.
Look for ways to get active and stay fit that motivate you to get out and stay active. This can range from lifting weights to going on walks to help clear your mind.
A number of studies have shown a link to an increase in happiness and wellbeing when people exercise regularly.
Watch out for the comparison trap
The rise of social media and the instant connection to everyone in the world has led to a widespread issue of comparison traps.
A comparison trap is when you start to see how others live and act and compare your current self to those other people.
Not only is this issue unhealthy for your mental wellbeing, but it just isn’t accurate.
Comparing yourself to others is one of the easiest ways to feel bad as you feel that you are missing out on something that others have.
Stop comparing yourself to others and you will feel a burden lifted as you can now just live and do what you want.
Speak to someone
Oftentimes, the best way to get your thoughts heard is to speak to someone.
Whether you choose to reach out to a psychologist or a life coach, having someone to tell your issues to for feedback is often a great source of help.
These professionals are trained to listen to and assess personal issues people have to uncover past trauma and experiences to see what has caused you to feel this way so that they can help you discover a brighter future.
From: Resilient: How to Grow a Core of Calm, Strength and Happiness
Imagine treating yourself like you would a friend. You’d be encouraging, warm, and sympathetic, and you’d help yourself heal and grow. Think about what a typical day would be like if you were on your own side. What would it feel like to appreciate your good intentions and good heart, and be less self-critical?
Here’s 3 fundamental practices to engage your mind usefully from Dr. Rick Hanson.
4 thoughts on “When You Feel You Are Not Good Enough And How To Fix It”
This is such a big issue for people in the modern world, especially women. Thank you for addressing it. These are all useful tips. Sometimes, I find these kinds of emotional patterns run so deep, they feel lodged in the physical body. So physical activity is a great way to release some of that energy and feel good about yourself.
It is a big issue Sandra and as you say especially for women. I like your perspective on physical activity and emotional patterns, thanks for your wise contributions.
I am a big fan of Rick Hanson. I love his approach and the way he backs everything up with science. So, I like this post a lot! As you say, our habitual thoughts are often in control. However, we can interrupt the process and take control and guide our minds at any time!
So true Debbie -we’re the only ones thinking our thoughts and feeling our feelings. No-one can or does do it for us.