It’s hard not to feel bad, self-critical or overwhelmed every time you fall short of achieving a goal. And it’s easy to start feeling like a total failure not just in that area of life but in life itself.
Letting go of the negativity of failure is difficult and emotionally draining.
Sometimes, we spend so much time thinking about what could go wrong that we tend to lose focus and then real anxiety creeps in.
What you can do when you start feeling like a total failure
The solution to this is learning how to create higher perspective of yourself through self-acceptance.
Let me explain:
When we tend to hang on to a negative perception of ourselves, it’s easy to feel defeated in the face of challenges. And it’s a short hop, skip and a jump from there to start feeling like a total failure.
Because the challenge of failure can feel like proof of what we already know.
If that sounds familiar, well, it’s time to stop focusing on valuing what you do and start valuing who you are.
This simply means that you’ve got to feel good both when you accomplish something great and when you fail.
Try this and you’ll understand that you’re greater than your accomplishments.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ― Sharon Salzberg
Self-acceptance is when you begin to pay attention to yourself and your relationship with the universe. You can only project good things when you tend to show yourself enough care and love instead of the other way round.
How you represent things to your inner self matters in life.
Some people became successful because they saw a good opportunity through failure, while others are sabotaged by thoughts of giving up. They simply understand how to differentiate failure from the value they possess.
What makes you valuable?
It’s a question we rarely ask ourselves, so why not try it right now?
Take a few moments to write down your values and then write down the traits that you feel characterize the real you.
Now set those traits aside for a moment and focus on your values, feel yourself manifesting each value; you will find that you will feel good about yourself and become more present when you think about your values.
These are the feelings you want to nurture and not, necessarily, the traits.
Everything is constantly changing and it’s necessary to understand the kind of experience that will turn out to be positive or negative.
So instead of focusing on the negativity and failure, focus on the values you possess and use that as motivation to guide you through the negativity.
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley
Master self-acceptance and let it grow stronger in you. Understand that feeling like a total failure has nothing to do with what happened and everything to do with your perspective.
Recognize setback and failure as a temporary problem, not proof that you’re not good enough. This can fuel you with the energy to stay challenged and to keep trying. Persist, no matter what the objective is, and you will increase your chance of becoming successful.
“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” – Ellen DeGeneres