Have you ever asked yourself why you’re not getting what you want out of life?

And are there times when you simply don’t do the little things that would make the biggest difference?

Not even the simple things that would increase your health, wealth and happiness.

If you asked yourself questions such as, “If I could  improve relationships, career, health, spirituality, shouldn’t I do it? If I could earn more so I have more to share, shouldn’t I do that?”  You’d probably say yes.

But so often we find ourselves stuck between a rock and a hard place.

We want to flourish in every area of life, yet there are days when life feels like a difficult assignment and we end up in a place where it’s too hard to get started…on anything.

That was how my day began yesterday.

There I sat, lacking any motivation, not happy with where I was, but having no desire to do anything about it. And I wondered…should I just let the day go by and forget it?

I could have been a successful lounger all day long, but it wouldn’t have been very satisfying nor would I have felt happy with who I was.  I know apathy when I see it!  It’s a child of the comfort zone and nothing of any value ever lived there.

I needed something to head off my reluctance to take action,  before apathy turned into stagnation.

An attitude adjustment was called for. So I went back to the basics, reminding myself of some errors of the past that had crushed my dreams and any chance of success I had.

1. Losing your positive voice

Sometimes the mind decides you need protecting and so the negative voice in your head begins. And you start thinking of all the reasons why that new project, or business, or career or even that new relationship will never work.

Recognize when this is happening and remind yourself you have choices.  Turn your mind towards the thoughts that say anything is possible.  Remind yourself you can do it, all you have to do is begin and the inertia that’s keeping you in place will be dispelled.

Your mind is easily fooled by repetition. Repeat something often enough and with enough conviction and your mind will eventually believe it. Wayne Dyer said “Change your mind and change your life” – it’s great advice. Advice I needed to remember.

2. Seeing failure as a problem

Success is always closer than you think. Use it as a motivator, as feedback for where changes need to be made.

The biggest mistake you can make and the one that causes the most damage is doing nothing because you’re too scared you’ll get it wrong.  It’s a precursor to apathy.

Failure can hurt, it’s disappointing and the weight of it can crush your spirit if you allow it. Don’t allow it. Do something before you reach a point when your self-esteem suffers and your self-respect disappears in a puff of smoke.

Be prepared to get it wrong, that’s how you come up with great, new, and original ideas.  Think Bill Gates. His first project was a massive failure that you’ve probably never heard of.  Traf-O-Data. Designed to read data from traffic counters and end traffic jams. Big fail. The demo didn’t work!

But Microsoft was the baby that it birthed. So who knows…your next failure might be the start of an amazing new project that changes the world. So get out there and fail and fail big.

3. Giving up the fight for your dreams

Or having dreams that aren’t big enough.

Any dream you have and you know how to get there isn’t a dream worth having. You need something that burns brightly in your heart, something that inspires you to grow and evolve. You have a fire in your heart for something…your purpose is to find it and fight to keep it.

You need a dream that you think about constantly a dream so big that without ensuring your thinking habits and actions are in alignment with your vision, you know you’ll never make it.

Keep taking actions. Making even the smallest effort to keep your dream alive, choosing growth over fear and apathy, and reframing negative attitudes all will give you a fighting chance of fulfilling even the biggest of dreams.

At the end of the day, when it’s all over and done with, you want to be able to say I truly lived. I did much more than survive, I thrived and I was happy. I dreamed a big dream. Everything else is a little powdered sugar on the doughnut.

Final thoughts

When things aren’t going right, there’s no rules that say you have to go wrong too.  There’s always an adjustment you can make.

When I was learning to fly, the instructor was constantly reminding me if I wanted to stay on course I had to keep making attitude adjustments. Life is the same. Choosing a great attitude, brings a great day and great days make up great lives. When your attitude isn’t getting the results you want…adjust it.

So keep your eyes on the prize and don’t fall into the trap of making errors that will crush your chances of success.

Life is so much more worthwhile when you’re trying. Not that you’re going to be able to do everything, but there’s a lot you can do when you try.   Give it every effort. You have much that the world needs.

As always I appreciate you being here and would love your take on getting yourself out of a rut.   Why not make a difference to someone in the world and leave your ideas and wisdom in the comments below. It’s always great to hear from you.

I’d love you to share this article on your favourite social media platforms…and remember

Encourage one another

Love Elle




Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. I’ve been going through a challenging period the last few months, Elle. I’m really making a conscious effort to orient toward the positive as you suggest in your first point. You’re so right, repetition can harm or help us. The negative thoughts patterns have created the groove in our minds, but it’s time to make a new groove through positive repetition. Thank you for this reminder, Elle.

    • ElleSommer

      Funny how it’s the same old truths Sandra. They say there’s nothing new under the sun and it’s probably true, I don’t really know for sure. But what I do know is that when we do what’s necessary to keep our focus on the life we want to live, it really does show up. 🙂

  2. I love the idea of repeating until the mind believes it. I am a firm believer in the idea that what we focus on expands. Reframing “failures” as simply information to point us in a new direction is also so helpful.

    • ElleSommer

      It really works Lynn doesn’t it? Amazing that something so simple can truly change the way we are in the world. I love the way life works! 🙂

  3. Thanks for sharing this Elle. It’s good to know others – especially productive and awesome people like yourself – also have off days. I woke up tired this morning, but this is a great reminder of the dream I’m working towards. <3

    • ElleSommer

      Wow Ellen, you are the most get-things done person I know. Boundless energy, incredible vitality and such great results. With your schedule it’s not surprising there are days you wake up tired! In your case I doubt that it’s due to lack of motivation…you my dear…should probably give yourself a day off! 🙂 Well at least a morning. lol

  4. Joseph Appaloosa

    Another great article, Elle !
    I embrace that concept of yours to not accept ” failure as a problem. ”
    Failure can be freedom . . . freedom from living from memory . . . freedom from other’s views and constraints . . .
    freedom from accepting a limiting or misguided answer . . . I mean who knows how high failure can take us ?
    Thank you, write on, Elle !

    • ElleSommer

      Like your ideas about failure Joseph…if ever you want to write a guest post let me know! 🙂

  5. Douglas Ritson


    I have had a negative attitude for some years now. It seems everything in my life is a struggle and a fight. I have been trying to turn it around. But at the moment nothing seems to help. Your post on Facebook have bern hitting home. They have started to make me think about what is going on in my life and how I should approach them differently.

    • Hi Douglas…I’m so sorry that life has been a struggle and I’m glad to know that some of my posts are supporting you in turning that around. May you be blessed with a happy life. 🙂

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