toxic-emotionsHave you ever thought how different life would be if you could dump those toxic emotions that keep bringing you down?

You try to stay upbeat…but those negative thoughts and feelings you have always lead down the same path, the one that ends in misery. And before long you begin to let every situation get the best of you and, worse, you often end up feeling unlovable, or unworthy.

It’s easy to internalize negative experiences as a reflection on you, especially when it seems as though you have little or no control over those toxic emotions.

You keep reading about negative thoughts and toxic emotions making you sick and you know there’s truth to it, and you keep asking yourself, “Why do I think and feel like this?”

Maybe once in a while you reach for positive thoughts and relax for a while, but it doesn’t seem to take long before that powerful, and sometimes vicious negative voice in your head is once again in control. Bringing with it all it’s toxic emotional friends.

You might wonder what makes you different from all those positive, happy people that you see online, you know the ones whose lives are full of shiny light-filled days as they tra-la-la their way through Facebook and twitter, while posting their happy images to Instagram?

The truth is you’re not different dear hearts.

They’re not without a negative thought or two that lead to negative emotions.  They’re just not sharing them with you!

So if you feel like you’re stumbling through life, never really getting to the bottom of how to manage your negative thoughts, never knowing what will work for you and what won’t, here’s some insanely simple ways you can begin to dump some of those toxic emotions.

And if you’re asking yourself how can I be so sure that they work…it’s because I’ve practiced them all at some point in my life.  Because I’ve probably felt all the negative emotions you have.  Envy…yes I’ve felt that.  Anger…that too. Frustration…oh yes. And probably all the others you could name.

So first things first

1. You are not your thoughts

It’s so easy to get caught up in the thoughts we have and the feelings they engender that we can hardly separate ‘US’ from the thoughts we have.

Your negative thoughts and feelings bother you because you think you are your thoughts. You have become entirely identified as your thoughts. Yet they’re simply an accumulation of experiences, beliefs and ideas that lead you to feel a certain way about life.

Don’t believe every thought you have.

[socialpug_tweet tweet=”You don’t have to pay attention to the inner voice that makes you feel less capable or smart.” display_tweet=”There’s no rule that says you must pay attention to the inner voice that makes you feel less capable or smart.”]

Your future isn’t decided by current results but by current thinking and feelings.  So try making your thoughts a little more fun and your feelings will follow and so will your life!


2. Don’t resist

Can we all agree that we’re going to have some negative thoughts about things?  And the reason we label them ‘negative’ is basically because they don’t help us feel good.  Which is a great thing.  And before you think I’ve lost my marbles…the great thing about it is that they’re indicators of what’s going on.

Without the indicator yelling at us via our feelings how could we know that some changes need to be made? You can’t change what you’re not aware of.

So instead of wanting to squish your negative, toxic emotions, use your awareness of them to empower you to make whatever changes you need to make to lead a happier life.

Be aware that becoming aware can stink…because then it’s up to us!  But it can also be a fun part of the adventure of life. And life always wants us to express ourselves ever higher and greater.

3. Reframe

Assume control over your own being, and everything feels better.  It’s the one thing we have total control over in life and I don’t know about you, but I will confess I like to have a bit of control, somewhere, sometimes.  

The truth is thoughts are just thoughts, and it all depends on which side of the fence you come down on. What’s negative for you might sound and feel positive to someone else, depending on how they frame the situation. And that’s okay.

Whatever thought improves your life, you call positive…but it’s still just a thought.

If you were to make your thought process conscious, I bet you’d create joyful thoughts.  Thoughts that bring positive, uplifting emotions. Why wouldn’t you…they put a smile on your face.

There’s no way around it, honestly. The quality of your life does not depend on how easy or challenging it is; it depends on how you look at it.

4. Find more ways to have fun

As Groucho Marx once said “If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong.”  When you are joyful, when you are having fun the sun shines brighter in your life, you’ve noticed that. Right?

 Maybe you’re having fun already, but you don’t even notice it, so entangled are you in those toxic emotions.

Take a moment and write down what you might enjoy doing for fun. It’s a great exercise.

It could be as simple as making dinner with your partner, or meeting up with friends. Perhaps you like an adrenaline rush and go for things that bring thrills and excitement. Maybe quietly reading, or going to movies, or baking cakes is more up your alley. That used to be one of my fun things years ago.  With the added benefit I would get to eat them…another fun thing!

Whatever fun means to you…it’s an important tool in dumping those toxic emotions.  Letting your hair down or relaxing gives you a chance to let go of all that negativity. Phew…it feels so good and  it’s a great means for healing.

So go and add a little fun into life today. Enjoy life just because it’s happening!

Final thoughts

Become more aware of what’s going on inside you.  Don’t resist the toxic emotions, you’ll give them more power. Instead, surround yourself with what you want in life, and fill your mind with positive thoughts and images.

Remember your energy frequency, which is simply the vibration, or the pattern of your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and actions, is what creates your reality.  

You are no different from the rest of humanity, your inner thoughts and feelings are always trying to find expression in your outer world.  Either we run our thoughts and feelings or they run us.

You really can do this.   Never ever lose faith in yourself.

Encourage one another

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Tillie Bbright

    Your posts are always so practical and simple yet profound. I look forward to reading them.

    Sometimes they give me thoughts as to topics I might want to use parts of for my book due out in July. It’s called, “I’ve Lost My Mind: How I found it again” It’s my story of childhood sexual abuse, mental illness and recovery. A long time in coming. Both the book and my recovery.

    • Hi Tillie…I truly appreciate you stopping by with your kind comments and am glad you’re enjoying the posts. I’m even happier for your recovery and excited about your book…I’m sure it will help many people who have or are having similar experiences. I wish you every good luck with it. 🙂

  2. So insightful, as always Elle. I love your point on embracing the negative emotions as the messenger we need to make us aware that something needs to change. And Grouch Marx always does it for me too. xxx

    • Hi Laura…thanks for your kind words. I always appreciate you stopping by. 🙂

  3. I love this idea: “So try making your thoughts a little more fun.” I also think it’s very wise not to resist toxic thoughts. You’re so right too that all of this can happen in such subtle ways. We need to stay aware! I have a lot of temptation right now to go into the negative so I appreciate this reminder to stay in the light.

    • Resistance always makes things seems larger than they are Sandra…because our attention is on it. One of my little things is when I’m feeling sad, or low or negative about things I sing! I know it sounds odd, but I sing old songs…any old song I can remember the words to and it’s amazing that after a little while the negative energy isn’t as strong. Thanks for your thoughts and when it seems easy to slip into the negative, try a song! 🙂

  4. I love the reminder that we are not our emotions even when it often feels as if they are. When we can separate ourselves from how we feel in the moment, we have the opportunity to choose something different. Thanks Elle <3

    • Hi Allanah…it’s not always easy…but like everything…the way we think about it makes all the difference between being able to separate us from the things we are feeling in that moment, as you say so well. 🙂

  5. You know I love this helpful post, Elle. If more people realized they were not their thoughts and quit resisting them and started working with and reframing them, depression and anxiety wouldn’t be as prevalent.

    Working with your thoughts and emotions isn’t a cure-all, but it sure is a good first step…and it physically changes your brain over time.

    • Hi Debbie…you’re so right…it isn’t a cure-all to be aware of our thoughts, but without awareness nothing ever changes…and I like what you have to say that over time as we renew/refresh them over time our brain physically changes. 🙂

  6. I appreciate this line, Elle, “Don’t resist the toxic emotions, you’ll give them more power.” I have found that to be very true. The more positive and upbeat I stay, the better. The idea of being conscious about having fun is a good one as well. Thanks for a great article.

    • Hi Cathy – Glad you enjoyed the article. Funny how often we forget to be appreciative and conscious of the fun in our life.

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