Dream Stealers – Time To Kick Them To The Curb.

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[success]It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision. ~ Helen Keller[/success]

What was your vision for the day?  Did you decide beforehand you you’d feel when the day was over?

Were you following your dreams?

Did you ask yourself what you wanted to do, or what you needed to do?  And did you choose?

Anything.

Or did you wander from task to task, putting some off here, or wanting to get another just perfect?

Did you have any sense of purpose today?

I know I fall short here…more often than I care to admit. Working on it.

I mean well, but there are times when my follow through is less than stellar.

Two things stand in my way.  Even though I’ve begun to imagine it being other than this in my life, the reality hasn’t yet caught up with how it’s working out in my mind’s eye.

So what in the name of Pollyanna is going on?

The two things that can trip me up are those deadly ugly sisters procrastination and perfectionism.  I have it on good google authority that the vast majority of us have them to one degree or another and if you’re part of the tribe that doesn’t…please leave your comments below and share your secrets and tips.  It’d be so encouraging for the rest of us.

I used to think I was just a procrastinator, ie call me lazy bones.  What’s that expression, all talk and no action.  I could talk it up with the best of them.  And the amazing projects I started…oh my they were pretty fantabulous…except they didn’t see the light of day…no follow through.

But then I realised they didn’t get finished because not only was I a procrastinator but horror of horrors I was also a perfectionist.  So nothing got finished, natch, because nothing was ever perfect.  Damnit those ugly sisters really had a hold on me.

And give them half a chance, they’ll steal your dreams away like thieves in the night.

Sound familiar anyone?  Hello.  Anyone there?

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Of course it all started in consciousness…somewhere along the way, we created habits of thought and beliefs that caused us to act in a certain way.  In this case procrastinating and needing things to be perfect.

Once we understand that it’s our subconscious that’s directing every aspect of our life…from what we draw to us to how we act, then we’re free to operate from a place of  greater awareness and that allows us to make changes.  And it’s true that for some of us…okay for me…it doesn’t necessarily happen overnight.

It can.  Just not necessarily.

Mostly, we’re totally unaware of this inner secret process, because after all we can’t see it can we?

Except we can. It’s right there in front of us…making up our real life, and our habits of procrastination and perfectionism simply keep us stuck in experiencing over and over again events that don’t serve us well.

Think groundhog day.

Those wily ugly sisters will always get their way, if we don’t step in and lend a hand.

I vote that we all get to the ball and enjoy the dance.

Procrastination and perfectionism are energy drainers and dream stealers.  The amount of time we spend postponing something and coming up with all the great ideas as to why we can’t do the ‘thing’ right now, stops us from actually doing the ‘thing’.  And by then, we could have done it a hundred times over.  And worse, the habits get reinforced each time, until they become a really powerful, baleful influence over our lives.

Not that we don’t actually do stuff.  Sometimes we finish…maybe because we absolutely have to…but then perfectionism peeks in with it’s desire to fine tune, improve, alter slightly, just make a teeny bit better.

Part of the problem is that we procrastinators and perfectionists can have HUGE ideas.  Which is absolutely fabulous on the one hand but pretty challenging on the other.  Sometimes they’re just too daunting to even begin.  So we don’t.  Which works out well for perfectionism because then we don’t have to share anything that’s less than perfect.

And then we might be filled with incredible enthusiasm for life, so we over commit to things that we haven’t a hope in hades of getting done, never mind done perfectly.

Newsflash.  It’s never going to be perfect. And it’s never going to be even remotely good if we don’t get started.

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If we want to kick these dream stealers to the curb we need to have some agreements because we need to see who we’re being if we’re to put ourself in a place where changes can occur.  No awareness, no change.

Agreement 1.

Look at who we currently are and what results we’re getting.  WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.  We’re just going to use one of my favourite expressions.  ‘Hmm that’s interesting’.

Agreement 2.

Take no action…no FIXING of anything we see.  We’re simply observing and NO BLAME.

Agreement 3.

No victim mentality allowed.  No criticism allowed. We’re simply observing our patterns, our habits, and our results…it’s not about beating ourselves over the head because we currently are who we are.

We’re going to be dropping the state of mind where procrastination and perfectionism live by taking our attention away from it and putting it on the level of consciousness we wish to experience in our world.  Beating ourself up just keeps us focused on that same old energy.

Agreement 4.

Be prepared, be willing to see something you didn’t know. No expectations or hidden agendas on what you’ll discover about you.

For example you might discover that you use procrastination and perfectionism to keep you safe.  From what we have to ask ourselves?  Or to prevent judgement.  Maybe you’re your own biggest critic or you’re trying to have some control in your life.  Perhaps you need the approval of others and you might not get it. Remember we’re just saying, ‘hmmm that’s interesting’ to anything we discover.

Agreement 5.

It all began in consciousness and it’s to consciousness we turn to make a difference.  We don’t get what we want, we get who we are and by that I don’t mean who we truly are, because we’re incredible beings blessed with abundance in all it’s forms.  I mean who we think we are.  Who we’ve limited ourselves to be.

By using our creative imagination, we can experience absolutely anything and everything.  So let’s take a leap together, and join that other us, the one who no longer procrastinates and doesn’t use perfectionism as an excuse for non action.

Let’s meet up with the one who creates a dream and nourishes and supports it to fruition.  The one who says

I can do anything I set my mind to.

Every day I grow more powerful.

Knowing that I can choose my thoughts, I can create, I can do.

Let’s meet the one we’re now choosing to be and welcome them into our world and kick those dream stealers to the curb once and for all.  Just stay focused on how it’s going to feel…I say it’s really, really cool.

Leave a comment below and tell me your insights in dealing with the two ugly sisters.  

Encourage one another.

Love Elle
xoxo

ElleSommer
Elle Sommer is the author and founder of Live Purposefully Now, a website focused on sharing the insights and ancient wisdom that have collectively changed her life, in the desire to make a meaningful impact on yours. Trained at Coach U and having completed a year long training with Bob Proctor, her mission is to encourage and inspire others to build the business, relationships and life they want. Get your free instant access to Success Simplified ebook and get the tips, techniques and secrets of successfully living the life you want.

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14 Comments

  • Procrastination and perfectionism… I think you’ve nailed the culprits right smack-bang in the middle of the head, How uncanny that I should find this post the exact time in my life when I’m suffering from these two devilish sisters the most! Suddenly, I’ve found myself with all this free time on my hands (after losing my job), and I quite simple don’t have the slightest clue how to achieve what I want in one day.

    I write for a website, so you would think that’s enough to motivate me to get things done … but there’s just so much to do, it really is overwhelming! One thing I’ve recently discovered is the concept of *time management*. You hear those suit and tie businessmen talk about it all the time … and now I actually understand why! Prioritizing is the absolute key … yet it seems so cliche people overlook it!

    Thanks for this post! It will help me with my own posts!

  • Today I had one purpose, and that was over this morning, and since then I’ve lacked purpose, unfortunately…

    Sometimes it’s difficult to get the idea that you’re not doing something out of your head and just accept that you’ve got change to make. Sometimes it hurts, that ‘no blame’ sure is a toughy!

    I think you’re right in saying that procrastination and perfectionism are a means to keep safe, but if one is to witness the rewards and sense the success then that comfort needs to get shunted, hard. No great things were achieved by people hiding in safes, they couldn’t move, they couldn’t change.

    Lovely thoughts, Elle!

    • Good points Nick and I sometimes think just being, instead of doing, can be purposeful. A different space and feeling from putting something off or wanting it to be perfect. 🙂

  • As a contracts lawyer, I love anything that involves agreements! And yes, I have struggled with both of these. I’m not so much of a perfectionist anymore, but I am still a champion procrastinator. Time to start negotiating that agreement right now. Tomorrow? No, now.

  • I used to struggle with procrastination and perfectionism so much. However, once I started the habit of writing down five actions that I wanted to do on the next day, everything changed. I suddenly had a direction and a sense of accomplishment that hadn’t existed before. It’s a great practice that only takes a few minutes to do but that changes the entire energy of your day and your life. 😛

  • I like that you pointed out that it is our subconscious that is driving all of our actions and our subconscious has been programed by all of our conscious interactions since we were kids. Many people struggle with procrastination and perfectionism as a defense mechanism to keep themselves safe. Safe from failure or rejection. One of the tings that I have used to reprogram my subconscious mind is meditation. This is a great way to really look inside yourself and find out how you developed these limiting behaviors and retrain from the inside out how to break free form them. I use binaural beats as a way to easily get into a meditative state where I have been able to use this technique of reprogramming my mind for success and it has done wonders.
    Elle,
    Great post! And, I would suggest that everyone struggling with this use your mantras from your post as affirmations in a daily time of meditation:

    -I can do anything I set my mind to.
    -Every day I grow more powerful.
    -Knowing that I can choose my thoughts, I can create, I can do.

    Keep it up!

    • Meditation is a great tool for us all Shaw. Couldn’t agree more. Whatever kind of meditation we use…it’s all good. Glad you like the affirmations. 🙂

  • Hi Elle,

    I don’t have trouble with perfection, and procrastinates. What i have learned about me that I can put something off either because I don’t like doing it or the fear of doing it. I have learned to just do it and get it out of the way. If i don’t do it it will be there tomorrow and if I don’t do it the fear will always be there.
    Great post. You are starting my week off great
    Debbie 😀

    • Good point Debbie. Reminds me of some old country expression someone mentioned to me when I first landed in the States. If you’ve got more than one frog to eat, eat the big one first. Congratulations on eating all your frogs. 🙂

  • Elle,
    This is wonderful! I’m not much of a perfectionist but I am a procrastinator occasionally. Your post and your agreements are really helping me with my situation with the phone company.
    Thanks!!
    xoxo
    Betsy

    • Love to hear that Betsy. Putting the tools and techniques to use in a real life situation. That’s what I’m talking about. 🙂 Let us know what the happy outcome was. 🙂

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