[success] It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. ~ William Shakespeare[/success]

You all know by now that I’m prone to having exceptionally wonderfully thoughts…yes, yes, I know, some might call them weird but wonderful can be weird.  Can’t it?

This morning was no different.  I’m poodling along, happily on my way to the dentist…honest to goodness ever since I released my fear (mostly, anyway) of dental visits, I seem to live in their office.  Wassupwiththat?

Anyhoo, there I was meandering through the early morning traffic, whilst wondering how I’d manage without a steering wheel.

Yes my friends, that was my wonderfully weird thought of the day.

I supposed I’d be prone to all kinds of problems, given that if I didn’t have a steering wheel, nor presumably would anyone else.  Sounds like a recipe for disaster wouldn’t you say?

I’d certainly wind up somewhere, but it’s doubtful that it’d be at the dentists.

And that’s what we’re doing in life if we’re not choosing our experiences.  We’re driving through life with no steering wheel, somewhat directionless and then, rarely do we wind up where we’d like to go.


Our very existence, even our destiny, is controlled by the laws of life.  And we are the pilot, the driver, the guide as to where these laws take us.  We can’t fail in our use of these laws.  There’s no such thing as failure.  We always succeed.  Sometimes it just happens to be in the wrong thing.  One of my friends has said if I only used these laws of life on my behalf instead of operating them against me, I’d be in great shape.  He successfully used them to bring into his world all manner of things he didn’t want.

This is Katie’s challenge.  She brings into her world all kinds of relationships that end up looking just like the last one, and end just as badly.  She’s begun to believe it’s her destiny to be loveless and forlorn.

Why does this keep happening, she wanted to know.  I want my relationships to be good, but I find myself being treated badly and/or dumped.

Hmmm what do you suppose is the difficulty here.  Katie thinks its her partners.  They’re the ones who treat her badly, they’re the jerks and it’s absolutely nothing to do with her.  So here we have it.  Driving the car without a steering wheel gets you what?  Exactly right, pretty much no-where.

Resistance or allowing

Katie’s challenge is one that’s true for all of us.  That of not allowing.  When we’re not allowing, we’re occupying a place of resistance to what we want.  We’re not in harmony with our desires.  In other words not steering ourselves towards where we really want to be, towards the destiny of our dreams.

If you don’t have what you desire be it in your finances, your relationships, your health, your weight, your career it’s because you’re not allowing.  Sounds odd I know.  And no doubt, like Katie, you’re vehemently denying the ‘not allowing’ factor.  I know I did.

[success] That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves. ~ Garth Stein[/success]

How it works

Katie wants one thing, whilst focusing on another.  What’s that called?  Oh yes conflict.  It’s not allowing her desire to be fulfilled.  Why would we be surprised that if we’re focused on the problem and not the solution, we keep getting the problem.

It’s pretty peculiar that even for those of us who know that we need to keep our thoughts and feelings directed towards what we want, there are times when we still don’t do it.  Once again I say wassupwiththat?

It’s hardly surprising that challenging, difficult relationships keep showing up for Katie.  And it’s the same with anything.  If we desire success and expect it can’t happen for us, or would love our income to be increased while having thoughts of lack, or want to be vibrantly healthy and at our ideal weight while our thoughts are on all the things that are wrong, or all the reasons why we can’t, we’re setting ourselves up for success all right.  Just not the success we want.  We’ll be very successful in experiencing all the stuff that goes along with our inner conflicts of thoughts and feelings.

That’s why grabbing hold of the steering wheel in our life by taking responsibility for our thoughts and feelings is vital to our well being.

Be a nurturer

In Katie’s case she wants a loving relationship where she feels nurtured and valued and respected which means she has to have that concept in her consciousness, not just for her, but for everyone.  If she thinks about all the lousy relationships she’s had and those of her friends that were equally horrible, how can she receive anything but that in her world?  Can’t happen.

Same for us, if we want a prosperous, abundant life, we must intend that for others too.  Bear in mind that all the old stuff we’ve manifested doesn’t simply disappear when we focus somewhere else, which is why it sometimes continues to rear it’s ugly head.  But as we create new habits of thought those old ones have less and less fuel and have less and less power to bring unwanted ‘stuff’ to us.


The good and bad news is that our reality is entirely our creation.  Feel good about life and you can bet your bottom dollar good things will show up for you.  Focus on what you don’t have and don’t want and you’ll see a lot more of it.

Let’s all stop entertaining thoughts and feelings that we know won’t lead to the richness of life that is our birthright.  And to help with that I’m going to share a little tip courtesy of The American Monk and naturally edited by me…I just can’t resist adding my two cents.

Take a moment and visualise a car driving towards you, better yet, make it hurtling towards you, and then slow it down to a pace more to your liking, or imagine someone throwing a ball and it’s heading in your direction, choose the speed of the ball that’s comfortable for you.  Once you get the feel and control of your images turn your picture into your current biggest desire heading towards you.

You’re a magnet and your desire is being drawn to you, effortlessly. As you do this, put your tongue on the roof of your mouth, because this, according to Dr. John Diamond, helps balance the left and right hemispheres of the brain, creating a powerful energy.  You’re using the Bagha, an ancient technique.

I know nothing about the Bagha, but like most things if you believe it, then it’s true for you.

For those who find this just a little too woo woo, that’s okay. Ignore it and simply focus on allowing your desires to be magnetically attracted to you.  After all, what we focus on we get more of.  Right?

You my dear ones are super beings.  Time to grab hold of that steering wheel and tap into the power and potential for creating your reality.  Have the greatest relationships, allow abundance to flow to you, be open to experiencing a healthy and strong body.  Your newly chosen destiny awaits.

Any thoughts on directing your destiny?  I’d love to hear them in the comments below.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Thankyou Elle,
    I believe that learning to create your own reality and change your internal programming are 2 of the most important skills you can learn. Afterall it releates to everything.

    It can definately take a while to see your own patterns. It’s good that Kate has you to guide her.


    • Elle

      Welcome to the party Ben and what you say is soooo true. Our awareness is the key to it all – and you’re spot on when you say it’s the most important skill we can learn. All our patterns of thought are laid bare for us, right in front of our face in fact, in every experience we have, but without the awareness, we can’t even see them. And truth be told even when we can see them, it’s still easy to say…not about me…it’s about x y and z. So kudos to you for your wonderful awareness. 🙂

  2. Hi Elle,

    Beautiful post!

    Your visualization exercise of the car / ball coming towards us–slowing it down, transforming it into our greatest desire–was so useful to me. I’m writing it down in my practice notebook.

    I loved the Bagha tip, too!


    • Elle

      Hello Dave and thanks for joining in the conversation. So glad the techniques were helpful and resonated with you. 🙂

  3. Good perspective, in that most people in daily life do not look at things this way. By this way, meaning who is in control. Any person could look at these things in their own life, which makes the most relevant. Also liked your comment that failures could be looked at as successes. What we do and say does not always encourage others, but we can concentrate on it. Informative post. Keep spreading the message.

    • Elle

      Welcome Albert, always nice to have another perspective in the comments section. Keep ’em coming. 🙂

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