Own worst enemy

[success]You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~ Buddha[/success]

If you’re spending time focused on all the reasons why you feel so miserable, or you keep letting others determine the course of your life, or you continually struggle with the past or can’t resist playing victim to your inner demons, I want to remind you:

You’re not here to fit in, you’re here to stand out.  You’re here to leave your own footprints, not walk in the steps of others. Shine a light on your inner demons, stop being a prisoner of the past, walk your own path. And even though there might be times when you only figure out where you’re going after you set out for somewhere else, what matters most is you set out for somewhere.

Stop spending time being your own worst enemy and begin investing time in becoming your best friend, your greatest ally, your best self.

1. Use your past as a teacher not a weapon

Don’t let your feelings of regret or remorse stop you from designing a better future, beginning today.

Remember that every ending leads to a new beginning, every broken heart opens a doorway to greater love, every mistake can inspire you towards incredible success. Be kinder to yourself, become your own best friend.

You’re either using your past as a weapon or a teacher. Focusing on past hurts and wounds until sorrow overwhelms you is not the path you want to take. Allow every past lesson to be an investment in your future. Let it be your servant, not your master.

2. Quit listening to the lies of your own worst enemy

stop the lies

Let’s face it, we can all be lazy. Can’t be bothered to do what really needs to be done now.

Feeing guilty because you didn’t do what you know you ought to have done, strips away your self-confidence.

Don’t do this to yourself. A lack of self-confidence only leads to declining results, which in turn leads to your confidence taking another hit.

The secret ingredient to most disappointments is our failure to do the things that we could, but are too lazy to do.

Stop listening to that voice that says it won’t matter if you let something slide, just this once. The voice that tells you that discipline doesn’t matter. It’s lying to you. This is the voice that leads to making wrong decisions, the ones that keep you from a future where you flourish.

You must learn to be a better ally, a better friend and stop acting on those disempowering thoughts. Replace them with uplifting, encouraging, inspirational ideas. You get to choose how and what to think.

3. No more second guessing

You’ve probably done things that you wish you hadn’t. Said things you wished you hadn’t.

You’ve also been a great friend, helped someone along the way, did the right thing when it was hard. Life is ups and downs, ins and outs, light and dark…in the end shaping who you are.  Take anything back and you wouldn’t be you. You are stronger now then you ever were.

Today you know how to give without hesitating, lose with little regret and acquire without unkindness.

It might not feel like it, but sometimes a kick in the teeth is what’s needed to get you to recreate your life and yourself. What counts is your willingness to live through the mess of the past, hold your head up and keep focusing on your fabulous future. You are braver than you know.

4. Speak words of inclusion and encouragement

words of encouragement

Your words have power. Not only for you, but with those around you. Every word you speak produces an effect in yourself and in others. Are you creating something positive or negative; something that will advance you in the direction of your dreams?

Are you being your best friend or your own worst enemy?

Happy, successful people speak words of encouragement and words of inclusion as opposed to words of criticism and rejection.

If you express acceptance and encouragement towards others, they will accept and encourage you. If you judge, you’ll be judged in return. Thoughtless words can break a heart, yours included.

The truth of the matter is that your words send out an energy that creates a reaction in others…one that tends to be returned to you in spades. You awaken in others the attitudes you hold in yourself.

If the success or failure of the whole world depended on who you were and what you said, what words would you speak?

Think about this for a minute because YOUR world does depend on who you are and the words you speak.

May you live your life consciously aware of thinking thoughts of success and love and happiness. May you decide to become your best friend.

Your life is your mirror, speak your greatest words and live from your greatest self and your results will be greater than ever before.

How do you handle becoming a better friend and stop being your own worst enemy? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Thanks, as always, for reading and being kind and encouraging to yourself and others.  And an especially big thank you for sharing this article and supporting others to become their greatest self.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Learning to listen more and criticize less has really helped me, plus ditching the negative influences in my life! Thank you, Elle!

    • Elle

      Hi Cher, it’s so true, simply being in the state of listening without judging makes a HUGE difference to our relationships. 🙂

  2. Hi Elle,
    That’s a fantastic point you make about words affecting our lives.I do believe that words act as charms and spells.Without even our conscious awareness of it ,our words sink deep into the fertile grounds of our creative power.there they act like seeds,potent ones at that.
    That is how hetero suggestion and autosuggestion plays such an important role in our life.Affirmations are a form of autosuggestion which influence our thinking and outcome dramatically.
    Words are not just sounds emanating from our vocal chords.Rather they are the vibrations in the audible region of the cosmos originating from our deepest intentions and desires.That is why almost all scriptures echo what the Bible says “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”
    Thanks for the insight

    • Elle

      You always have such fascinating things to say Mona. I love reading your words of wisdom. 🙂

  3. Love love Love this post Elle! I had a hard time picking a favorite sentence of yours to share. I guess the winner is….”You’re not here to fit in, you’re here to stand out.” So true. And all we need to do really is get out of our own way. As you said, No excuses… just move forward. Love it!

    • Elle

      It’s always easy to say (or write) Melissa. It’s simple to understand too…it’s the practicing of it that sometimes seems to take it’s flaming time! 🙂

  4. Elle,

    Not using your past as a weapon is huge, in my estimation. We spend so much time and energy punishing ourselves and filling our hearts with regret, when we can just simply ask what we’d do differently next time and move on. Great piece, as always! Thank you!

    • Elle

      Hi Victor, you speak truth my friend. We can spend far too much time punishing ourselves…which is a pretty useless waste of our creative energy. Glad you enjoyed the post.

  5. Lovely post, Elle! I think this is the work of most of us, or it’s our work to learn to be better friends rather than enemies to ourselves. I think it helps me to listen more to myself. It helps to listen and respect my inner voice and act in accordance with my true wants and desires.

    • Elle

      Isn’t that sometimes the hardest part Jessica…being willing to listen to yourself and then act accordingly. We’re so filled with far too many should’s or shouldn’ts that get between us and our inner wisdom. This is why I really believe in sitting in the silence every day and just listening. Oh the things I hear. 🙂

  6. I am trying to be with my best friend sometimes I think that I can make it but some times downfall comes that I don’t able to make it.

    • Hi Chandan…stick with being the best you possible and then life will respond with bringing you the best possibilities. 🙂

  7. You have many good points and they are very helpful. But some of them are very difficult to put into place. How do I know if it is a lie or not? How do I stop feeling guilty and ashamed of my shortcomings, even when I am looking to the future?
    Is it even possible to not beat myself up emotionally anymore?


    Lumin. L.

    • Hi Lumin…you might like to stop by my Facebook Lives on Mondays at 12pm eastern time…you might get some answers to the questions you have. Love to see you there. 🙂

  8. Laurie Chan

    Thank you for taking the time to share this gem. This is a truly amazing, inspiring post.

  9. Joedee Shelton

    I love what u did for me mentally today! ? After reading this!

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