Davina’s saga continued. She told me she was seriously thinking of joining the Foreign Legion, but I think it was mostly about the romanticism of a wronged person starting a new life. Perhaps, she said, it’d be the Canadian Mounted Police instead…whichever works the shortest hours.
Nothing so dramatic… she found another job, with another boss, who turned out to be…unreasonable, overly demanding, and basically just didn’t like her. She said she understood how life worked, that everything stemmed from her consciousness…but…in this case it really was about him. Everyone disliked him. He treated everyone badly. He was especially critical of her, rejecting her work out of hand and was just plain mean.
Have you ever heard that if you want to know how a girl will turn out, take a look at her mother? I do declare this was one of those times when I was beginning to turn into mine as I asked Davina if she mentally argued with her boss. She did, apparently a lot of the time.
She’d forgotten what my mum told her: “Remember its our inner speech that gets objectified, not our desires. We can desire till the cows come home, but if we are having inner conversations about not having, that’s what we’ll get to see. Thought is inner speech and it’s through our mental activity that we are choosing the conditions of our life.”
Her boss was echoing back to her what she was mentally whispering to him.
Davina was mesmerized by her outer world experience, taking everything that was going on and running it around in her inner world and as a result had no power whatsoever over her situation.
She was unaware and not yet truly awake to the concept that her inner world of thought, feelings and beliefs were constantly making and re-making the world of events she occupied in the waking two thirds of her life. She believed that things were just the way they were, and thus remained powerless to alter her life, all the while continuing to create frustration, challenges and obstacles and of course she was proven right over and over.
She was about to be fired again and was desperate. I began channeling my mum again as I asked her what she really wanted.
“To be valued and respected” she said. Sounded reasonable. So between us we concocted a plan. Instead of mentally arguing with her boss she was going to imagine him offering words of praise. She wanted to keep it simple so she could imagine it frequently throughout the day. She heard his congratulations on a job well done and she responded gratefully.
We are only limited by weakness of attention and poverty of imagination and Davina was re-making her outer world experience…reclaiming her personal power.
I’m happy to say that it worked out well for Davina. And I found it worked out pretty well for me too, hi-jacking my mum’s persona meant I could help my friend. Win, win.
Encourage each other.