Reading time: 4 minutes
Life is too short to keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
And then beating yourself up.
I’ll bet you already know that it hasn’t worked for you so far…beating yourself up when you think you’re not winning this game of life!
Deciding what you can overlook leads to wisdom.
Become aware of your thoughts. Stop allowing passing thoughts to become so deeply embedded in your philosophy of life that they turn into beliefs. You get to choose what thoughts are worthy of your attention.
It’s easy to forget that thoughts are just that…thoughts and if you leave them alone, they will pass.
It’s your persistent focus on them, that turns them into beliefs. You now have thoughts you’ve made true for you.
The problem is they don’t all serve you well.
Think of the beliefs you’ve picked up in your lifetime.
Be honest. Do you really think your present beliefs are the best foundation for a great future?
Or do you have too many beliefs that always hold you back?
If you’re not sure what you believe, take a look at the world around you.
Are you making money doing what you love and at the same time enjoying a happy, fulfilling personal life? Or are you stressed out, working longer hours than you’d, like with little or no time for fun, joy and laughter?
Personally, it wasn’t until I took a look at what beliefs I held that I began to see why I never seemed to make much headway in life. Why my relationships were difficult. And how many of my beliefs had impacted my sense of self-worth and well-being.
Here’s 5 beliefs that always hold you back even when you don’t realize you have them.
1. I am what I am and life is what it is
What a load of old codswallop this one is. Why are we foolish enough to believe this?
It has something to do with how difficult it is to look within and see that we are the principle cause of our experiences. So we somehow convince ourselves that anything that doesn’t work out for us is because of someone or something else.
And over time we become victims of life itself.
Please don’t fall for this. Remember your personality and your life aren’t set in stone. Who you were has to change if you’re to become a greater you. Take hold of the steering wheel and be responsible for the direction you’re taking.
2. I can’t do it all
So what? Who can? Not me 🙂
Don’t expect to master every element in life, you’re just setting yourself up for misery and frustration. Instead, seek out the basic aspects, the ones that are going to make a difference to you and support you in following your dreams, and master those.
There are no new fundamentals.
So take a look at those who’ve gone before and pick the basics that resonate with you.
The ones that matter to me are, self-talk, attitude, perspective, self-discipline, self-discovery, persistence and expecting something wonderful out of every experience. Believing you have to be master of everything will invariably hold you back.
3. I’ve been dealt an awful hand
Even the worst card players can turn terrible hands into amazing wins. They give it their all and out of their determination and persistence comes their success.
But many people get caught up in the idea that they arrived in this world with little to no chance of living successfully. They’re simply destined to fail.
Don’t be one of them. Sometimes life might give you some difficult cards to play but other times you’ll hold all the aces.
Your destiny is in your hands, in the choices you make, in your unwavering belief that success or failure isn’t caused by forces outside of your control. Never let a bad hand hold you back.
4. I don’t think I have what it takes
You might not even realize you have this belief. But if you allow what you don’t know to stop you from trying something new…then this is definitely you. This is where the ‘fake it till you make it’ idea comes into play.
When you’re bombarded with bunches of new things to learn before you can move forward, gather up your courage, decide you do have what it takes and simply begin.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson says “Do the thing and you will have the power.” In simple terms you become what you believe you are and have what you believe you can have.
If you want to be more scientific about this, look up the words Neuroplasticity and read this great post on brain rewiring.
5. I’m scared
It’s ok. Fear is just another thought.
Take a page out of Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence and don’t allow your emotions to skew your decision making process or your reactions to life. You’re simply creating more vulnerability to your negative self-talk.
The trick is to avoid reacting immediately, giving yourself time to separate fact from fiction. You can overcome fear- filled beliefs more easily when you practice self-awareness and self-compassion…understanding you don’t have to let your emotions rule.
Those who practice compassion towards their shortcomings, their mistakes and imperfections create chances for a greater sense of well-being and self-worth. The sense of power and capability provided by regularly practicing self-compassion kicks in when faced with life’s challenges.
Compassion involves the recognition of where we hurt, where we’re wounded, and where others hurt too. It involves acknowledging we’re all in this together, all experiencing the human condition with all it’s frailties.
You will find talent, you will find genius and power wherever you look for it.
If you can overcome the self-defeating beliefs above, you’ll make great strides in improving the beliefs that hold you back and be in a great position to achieve your full potential in whatever area your passion lies.
Encourage one another.
Love Elle
xox
Latest posts by Elle Sommer (see all)
- How to Create Fundamental Change to Make Success More Likely - March 14, 2023
- How To Boost Your Self-Worth And See Your Confidence Grow - March 6, 2023
- Holding Grudges And Bitterness Hurts You: Here’s How To Let Them Go - February 28, 2023
16 Comments
Those are really potent obstacle makers! When I look at #3, I think of all the people who have risen above the challenges of a “bad hand.” There are many and they’re so inspiring.
So true Sandra…I’ve met those who were dealt truly awful hands and have managed to life an inspiring, fulfilling life. 🙂
I have to agree that belief #3 is very toxic to the soul! If only one can release this belief, he or she can achieve so much more!
It’s interesting Evelyn how many of us are unaware of the impact our beliefs have on our spirit, which adds to our challenges being more difficult to overcome. 🙂
Thanks for sharing these Elle. I especially support #1 – all of us can change, but when we think we can’t, it can keep us stuck forever, because what’s the point in trying?! Great reminders.
So true Ellen…lack of self-belief in anything makes it far too hard to move forward. 🙂
Elle,
All such good advice: acceptance, working with your mindset, extending compassion to yourself, and facing fears. Doing this definitely will open up opportunities and change your life for the better. Did mine!
The biggest challenge for most of us Debbie is we simply are unaware of the beliefs that get in out way…it can take a bit of work to figure it out intellectually, even though looking at our life it’s not to hard to see where our struggles are…but that too isn’t always easy. I’m so happy that you have opened up opportunities for you. 🙂
Hi Elle,
Believing that you’ve been dealt a bad hand, I think, is a way of surrendering. It’s how you allow yourself to be comfortable with doing nothing. Things can be bad, without question, but it takes motivation to turn them around. I always try to do what I can because the way I see it, it can always go either way so why not tip the scales in my favor.
~Lea
Love that Lea! It’s like we might as well assume the best, as the worst, since neither has happened yet. You are so inspirational. 🙂
Good observations here Elle. Your point is well taken that the key to moving forward is recognizing first what is holding us back. Helpful reminders – thank you!
So funny Cathy…how introspection doesn’t get much ink…but as you so clearly point out…we need to know where to start to do something different, before we can actually move forward. 🙂
Oh I SO love this post Elle! These are definite limiting beliefs in heavy dialogue, we all need to do away with 🙂
This line made me laugh so loud “What a load of old codswallop..” cause most of our limiting beliefs are just that! Love the sentiment and force behind this… 🙂
xoxo,
Z~
Hi Zeenat…you made me laugh dear heart.:-)
Excellent post Elle – who can do it all? not me:)
Isn’t that such a liberating idea Mark? I can feel a sense of relief just reading your words…thanks so much for stopping by.