When your heart is filled with love, you will experience the Divine in the entire cosmos. ~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

I was talking to my friend Tina yesterday, about the fact that she can’t ever get what she wants in a relationship but will only and always get who she is.  And she’s not happy with what she’s getting.

So who is she was the question.  She’s the sum total of her beliefs, what she accepts as true of herself, the assumptions she makes, the thoughts she thinks each and every day.

1. Check out the mirror

This isn’t only applicable to love relationships, it’s all our relationships.  Having challenges with friends, or colleagues or families…we need to look within.

Good or bad, our relationships are no different than anything else in our life,  they merely reveal to us who we are and sometimes it’s a lousy reflection.  And sometimes it’s easier to look at the other person and say it’s them.

Okay, it’s always easier to look at the other person and say it’s them.  But how can it be when it’s our consciousness that’s being reflected back to us?

This concept was easy to grasp when it was about someone else’s relationship, but when it came to her own…well he actually did say that…he actually did do that.  I know sweet lambikins, he did.  And the last man in your life did something similar and the one before that and…on and on.

2. Rebel without a cause

I could see that it was hard to grasp, the idea that it isn’t them doing anything to her, because that was the way she’d always seen it.

And I certainly know how challenging it is to accept that it’s our own mental activity that’s the cause of our experiences; that everything and everyone we meet in life is a part of us.

We rebel against this very idea. But if we’re willing to truly accept that our reality begins and ends in us, we regain the power to influence and transform every aspect of our world.

So I suggested to Tina that she began to practice having a new perspective, a new thought or two about how wonderful her relationships are, how great she is, how great the people in her life are. Pretend a little. Use your imagination a little.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Reality sometimes takes a little while to change our reality.

Start small, leave the all or nothing mentally behind, it just isn’t helpful.  We’re rebuilding our consciousness one thought at a time, one step at a time.

3. There’s always an answer when looking for love

Relationship is vital to our well being.  We’re in relationship with everything in the cosmos through our answer-for-loveDivine inner being.

Let’s begin with love.  Let’s face it who doesn’t want love in their life?  Begin by bringing more love into your consciousness.  See love everywhere, as much as possible.

Walking in nature,  see love in the beauty around you.  Watch the power of the ocean and see the love in every drop.

Look at the children in your world, even if you only pass them by in the street and see love.

Love your car, it gets you everywhere safely.

Love your home, it gives you shelter.

Love your bed, it’s a cosy place to rest your weary head.

Look for love as much as possible, in all things, and fill yourself to overflowing with it.  Practice aligning yourself with love.

I suppose I’d better warn you that as you become immersed and aware of how much love exists all around you it begins to rest within you too.  You are no longer hoping for great love, wishing for great love ~ you are actually in it.  You are walking in the consciousness of love.  And don’t forget the most important relationship of all…love the one you’re with…and that means you.  It all begins within.

Oh yes, one last question. What do you think you’ll be experiencing now? Please let us know in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle.




Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Elle,
    I loved this post. So true – change how we see things a little bit each and soon our entire world will be transformed!

    • Elle

      Thank you Angela. Isn’t it great that we have the power to change a world, little by little, as we choose.

  2. I just love your posts! They are so helpful to me as I work to become more in sinc with my thoughts/consciousness and try hard to change some thought processes. Your posts are sunshine in my day. Thank you.

    • Elle

      And you Harriet are sunshine in mine. Isn’t it great that we can have this conversation and encourage one another, goodness knows I need it as much as anyone else. 🙂

  3. Mary Carol Moran

    What a beautiful post, Elle! Like Harriet said, pure sunshine.

    I have a difficult peripheral relationship in my life manifesting today, and I’ll try to see it in a different perspective. It’s like looking in a mirror and seeing my struggles magnified, so I can pluck them out like stray chin hairs! (TMI??)

    Thank you!!

    Mary Carol

    • Elle

      I remember Mary Carol, hearing someone talking about a really challenging relationship with their parents, who were somewhat verbally abusive and she learned to respond to each unkind and ungenerous word with the mental thought, I love you. It changed the energy pretty quickly…I don’t know if this is pertinent to your experience, but just in case I thought I’d share it.

      Love the plucking out of chin hairs…now that’s a really evocative phrase and made me laugh out loud!

  4. Absolutely beautiful, Elle. Thank you for the wonderful affirmation of love. When I promised myself transparency in relations, and I focused on alignment, I drew to me the most *magical* experiences and connections. What I see strongly in others is a reflection of me…so I bring my observations inward and apply the inner work and reflection 🙂

    • Elle

      Thank you Joy…*love* your words “drew the most magical experiences and connections”…we’d all say yes to that. 🙂

  5. Joseph Appaloosa

    I know we are all connected but I would have to add that as far as I am aware, I am the only one who has been present in all my relationships, experiences and adventures. I AM the one common denominator, so to speak. So I truly appreciate your article reminding me that all change starts with(in) me. Are my current beliefs-assumptions serving to deliver me the life I desire?
    If not, what thoughts-beliefs-feelings would support me in fulfilling my desire? . . . And then you suggest LOVE !!!
    What a perfectly perfect place to start ! Thank you .
    Write on, Elle !

    • Elle

      Good point Joseph, we are the common denominator in every experience. We are the ones who move consciousness around by our thinking, and get to experience it. Love is a great place to start, you’re right. 🙂

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