Relaxing in a meadow full of buttercups in the summer sun

[success]If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good. ~ Śāntidevas[/success]

How often have you let dumb things create stress and anxiety and steal your peace?

If you’re repeatedly in meltdown mode, you’re going to pay a price in your emotional and physical well being and it’s too high a price to pay!

 You don’t have to live like this, and if you feel you are, it’s time to take back control with some handy tools to manage the every day stressors that life throws your way.

Here’s 8 ways to show the world that you’re strong and powerful, and amazing and unique, and you’ve got it handled.

1.Take emotional control

Life does get easier when you focus on the one thing you do have control over. Your emotions.

A simple way to begin to control the way you feel about something is to change the words you use, as you think about it.

A couple of weeks ago, hubby and I were driving merrily along heading towards a great date night, when we were stymied by one of those drivers who couldn’t make up their mind what lane they wanted to be in, so they chose to be in two lanes at once. Blocking everyone’s path.

‘Ok dearie’ said I, ‘it’s make your mind up time’.

‘Not what I was thinking at all’ hubby said, but it made him laugh.

Not too sure if it was the quaint British expression that appealed to my American husband or the idea of someone being a ‘dearie’ instead of a ‘bleeping idiot’. But his energy shifted.

And you can do that with everything. A change of a word can change your emotions and shift your energy. After all why let someone else be in control of how you’re feeling?

Try it…and let me know how it works out for you. 🙂

2.Be engaged in today and not the stress of yesterday

letting goDon’t allow anyone to hold you in a prison of old beliefs.

Not everyone can see you are not your past. Not everyone will notice the changes you’ve made.

Let them go.

Remember, you’re not sitting there waiting for approval, you’ve decided to let go of yesterday because you’re far too busy with today…bringing your dreams to life.

Stop stressing about what others’ think about you and never give up on the person you’re becoming simply because someone in your world doesn’t approve.

3.Remember to have fun

Most of what you do all day is productive. It’s leading you somewhere. And it’s a good thing.

But forgetting to just play and have some fun will leave you feeling listless and demoralized. Doesn’t really help to eliminate daily stressors.

If you’ve been feeling ‘down’ lately add a little fun back into your life.

Anything that lifts your heart and spirits will do. You’ll be surprised to find you can be a lot more productive with a little goofing off every now and then.

4.Stop being too unconscious to appreciate life

For the sake of your sanity, it’s important to take a moment every day to step away from the repetition of daily life and savor the sweetness in each day. 

Life is to be enjoyed, and to be fully lived you have to take time to notice the beauty that life has on offer.

Friendships are beautiful, love is beautiful.

Cherish and appreciate the magic in living by looking for the best, the good in everything.

Life gets easier when you are thankful and appreciative for it.

5.Never lose heart

don't lose heartIf you fall back into old patterns of living that no longer bring you joy, be patient and compassionate with yourself.

Rome wasn’t built in a day and life altering new habits don’t arrive overnight. 

One of the strange things about life, if you refuse to accept anything other than the best, you often get it. And once you become aware that old patterns clearly don’t work, you’re well on your way to change. 

Before too long you’ll find yourself doing things differently, thinking differently, responding to life in a more positive way.

Meanwhile, don’t lose heart.

Celebrate yourself. You’re beginning to be the leader in your life.

6.Get going

How many times have you said I can’t be bothered, or I’ll get to it later.

I’ve struggled with this myself over the years. But in the end I usually remember my mum saying, ‘if you want to get it done, you’d better begin – so stop talking about it and get going.’

When you can’t get yourself started on something, remember you either do it or you don’t, but dithering on the sidelines is a waste of your creative energy.

Decision plus action equals magic. Expect something wonderful to come out of everything you do.

7.Learn to love the flaws

Celebrate every time you discover your flaws or recognize where you went wrong.

It isn’t until you notice your flaws and mistakes that you can see you have more room for growth.

There’s always someone who will find ways to criticize and judge…you don’t have to help them by clipping your own wings.

You are worthy of love and respect, but don’t expect to get it from others when you withhold it from yourself.

Once you learn to see your flaws and your errors in life as a sign of a life well lived you’ll begin to rejoice in them.

8.Spiritually speaking

Regardless of who you are, or what’s happened in the past you’re sitting at the controls of a vast and powerful energy that needs you to direct it.

Are you creating your circumstances or settling for what comes along?

Are you letting the events and conditions of your life control you or are you controlling them?

You can sit there, with incredible power at your disposal, and just hope it takes you where you want to go, or you can step in and direct it towards a specific purpose…your amazing future.

With a little imagination and right thinking you can begin to take charge.  There’s something very liberating in discovering it’s all up to you .


Currently, what’s your biggest struggle in making sure stress doesn’t get the best of you ? 

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below, you could be the one who makes a huge difference for someone in our community. 

If you enjoyed this, do share the love via twitter, or facebook, or google plus and help raise the level of encouragement in the world.

And thank you for being in my life.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Oh gosh, that could be a whole report, Elle! My personal biochemistry tends toward stress but I’ve done a lot to learn to dissolve it. As you point out under #1, words are powerful. I try to be especially conscious of what I say when I start to feel stressed. Instead of fueling the stress by telling myself how stress I feel, I use soothing and empowering words instead.

    Thanks for these helpful tips. There’s really no point in letting small, dumb things get in our way!

    • ElleSommer

      Lol Sandra! It could be a whole report…and I love what you say about self-soothing. Words have such power over our energy if only we’d always remember this and use them wisely. And yes, I speak for myself here…I need those gentle reminders! 🙂

  2. Hi Elle:

    I recently discovered your blog through Melody Fletcher’s Facebook page and I’m really enjoying it and getting a lot out of it. Regarding #7, recognizing my flaws has always caused problems as I tend to beat myself about the head with them or get really frustrated trying not to resist them. Celebrating them so I see where I need to grow sounds more loving. Something else you wrote in another post also shook me up and made me more loving toward myself – learn that most regrets come from the things I haven’t done, not the things I did. I have a lot of regrets in my life, but amidst all the “regretting,” I have ignored some great things that I accomplished and fun things that I’ve done. Very profound for me and I’ve been getting a lot easier on myself.

    Your posts are a great way to start my day!

    • ElleSommer

      Hello SMC, I welcome you. Wow dear one, you really are awake and doing great. We all have old ways of being that hurt us more than help and sometimes simply reframing them can make all the difference to our life. Kudos to you for acknowledging all the great and fun things that have happened. I think your comment will help others a great deal…it’s always good to know we’re not alone in doing those things that don’t help us one little bit, and we all have them! 🙂

  3. My biggest struggle in making sure stress doesn’t get the best of me is to stay ultra aware of my emotional endurance and stamina as my day and adventures get going.

    I have found that I will jump in to situations and the events of my day-to-day and I feel great and prepared and rested, but somewhere along the way I get too hungry, or I start down an emotional rabbit hole under the surface, not really aware that it’s happened, until wham!

    It’s too late and my reactive and generally destructive tendencies emerge… Like having a drink, or eating something comforting, or just over-indulgence in general… And the thing is, I suppose those impulses are my wake up call that stress has snuck up on me, but they are so overwhelming and almost auto-pilot responses that I find it very difficult to take back the reigns…

    That said, while it is a struggle for now- I am learning to have more and more compassion for myself in those situations. I aspire to achieve better emotional mastery that I can learn to redirect those destructive tendencies into something entirely constructive and compassionate, so I’m not super upset about it, I know it’s a part of my journey and I won’t give up learning and growing and transmuting energies towards my best version of myself.

    I love something you wrote in another post about “upgrading the concept you have of yourself… who you are is what you manifest, so as your concept of yourself improves… so does your ability to manifest the life of your dreams…”

    That and other inspired thoughts have helped me greatly improve my internal conversation and it has really helped me see myself with more truth and compassion. Especially when I have to regroup after a stress malfunction!

    If I upgrade the concept I have of myself then there really isn’t room, or time for the hideous and cruel stories that I find lurking in my beliefs about who I am. Uncovering these things is empowering, humbling, and such a relief! Thank you for your amazing site and for sharing your powerful messages. I love getting them every week! Hugs & Light <3

    • ElleSommer

      Wow Diana…that was magnificent. Honesty and truth shines from every word you wrote and I salute you. I think you speak to a struggle that so many of us have and your point about being on auto pilot is such a big one. We’ve all be programmed from a time when we had no ability to reject information that was given us until we operate under the radar so to speak, and not always from places that are supportive.

      Being aware is always step one. Nothing can ever change for us without it. But awareness together with new practices of thought aah that’s where the magic lies.

      Bravo to you Diana. I know for sure that many of us were nodding our heads as we read your words, we can all recognize that place you described so well. Thank you. Thank you. 🙂

  4. “Don’t allow anyone to hold you in a prison of old beliefs.” This struck me! My past really haunting me that I can’t move on. I know that it was an accident but I felt so accountable for what had happened. I was swallowed by my fear to help that caused to someone’s death. It’s really terrific and traumatic experience. It causes angst to everyone that I noticed their stressful face. I thought that I was the only one who’s affected but unknowingly, my family and relatives are affected too.I am so glad that I have read your post. Apart from the list that you have enlisted, regular exercise is one of the things/ways that makes me feel so stress-free.

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Amber. I’m so sorry for the tragedy in your life and hope that you’ve decided to walk out of the prison of old beliefs. The door isn’t even locked you know…but you have to make a choice to change your perspective and thoughts. As you say exercise is a great way to ease stress and I’m so happy you have something that really helps you. I’m wishing you greater joy and happiness in life dear one. 🙂

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