I  get it.

It’s hard to make changes.

It’s hard to swap the comfort of the familiar for the discomfort of the unknown. Even when the familiar sucks.

We’ve all made up, or accepted limiting beliefs and held ourselves apart, afraid to put ourselves out there in case we got hurt or judged, or made a fool of.

We’ve all allowed events or others to control the way we feel and in doing so we’ve compromised our values and created conflict in life.

You want to change. You’d love your life to be better so you seek new ways that seem to promise to eliminate all your problems.

But what works and what is just a waste of space?

1. Follow those who live extraordinary lives

Those who manage to live extraordinary lives have one thing in common, they turned their mistakes, fears and limitations into positive deliberate action and you can do this too.

They understand they can change the way they feel instantly by shifting their focus.

When you’re feeling down, or feeling overwhelmed or that life is a struggle, remember the thoughts you’ve been thinking are what created these feelings.

Your mind believes what you tell it. Most of us are totally oblivious to the fact that our inner conversations cause the circumstances of life.

Replace your inner conversations with more positive and healthier inner speech. Try asking yourself ‘what am I proud about’, what could I be most happy about right now’, ‘what have I learned today’, what am I committed to doing differently tomorrow?’

2. Reclaim your creative self

Leave your fears of inadequacy behind. They offer nothing.

Let go of hopelessness. No matter how long you’ve felt it.

Willingly release the familiar insecurities and doubts…they rob you of energy and keep you feeling trapped. 

The way to reclaim your creative self today is to think and feel and speak creative ideas. Choose creativity as your companion and enjoy the enthusiasm, exhilaration, joy and peace it brings. 

Every day when you wake up, focus on being at one with your inner self which is infinitely larger and far more creative than you’ve imagined.

Live with joy in your heart and a smile on your face and make this a new priority. Decide to feel good for no good reason other than you say so.

3. The biggest problem in managing change

Problems come when you spend your time attacking the window because it isn’t a door!

You have been blessed with all you need to change YOU. Within you is the power to bring your dreams to life.

Free yourself from the time wasting effort of trying to change others, of focusing on the things you can’t control.

Stop beating at the window, it’ll never be a door. When you stop trying to change another and focus on changing you and your relationship with reality, that’s when your potential for greatness rises up to greet you.

4. Change is a journey not a destination

No matter what’s happening in life you have to find a way to believe that this too shall pass. Look around…you’ll see that everything in this world is forever in transition, forever changing.

Adapt. Evolve.

Allow your greater self to thrive.

Once you stop believing that your current circumstances are permanent…you’re encouraging change.

Stop believing it’s hard to feel better and allow better feelings to take root.

Stop believing that you’ve failed and make room for your next opportunity to present itself.

Accept your incredible capabilities for growth and expansion.

5. Take a long hard look at yourself

Forget how others see you.  If you want something new in your life pay attention to how you see yourself. What you think of yourself makes all the difference to the decisions you make.

You are valuable.

You have something wonderful to bring to the world. Stay true to yourself and don’t wait for permission from another to follow your dreams.

Learn to enjoy your own company. Those who like themselves tend to be more positive and confident. When you don’t like who you are, when you don’t feel worthy, chances are great you’ll sabotage yourself without realizing it.

6. Make friends with rejection

Be willing to be vulnerable and don’t fear rejection.

You won’t be accepted by everyone.

Everything you do won’t be accepted every time. Don’t accept rejection as failure. 

Remember that not always getting what you think you want can turn out to be the biggest blessing of all. Make rejection your friend.

Rejection is a big part of your success.

7. Yes you can live an extraordinary life

Your vision for your future is the first step in turning your invisible reality into your visible experience

Have faith in yourself. You can do it.

Some may be more than happy to tell you what you are or aren’t capable of.

Ignore them. They’re speaking from their own fear …it isn’t about you.

Every time you don’t make it, another opportunity appears. Life is filled with opportunities. Keep the faith and in the end you’ll discover your current limitations will dissolve, leaving you living the life of your dreams.

8. Celebrate the journey

Love what you do.

Working hard, yet struggling every day and not enjoying the experience means you’re missing the joy of life.

As you head towards your ideal life, you don’t have to live day after day feeling badly about what you do. Consciously choose to find something good in it all. See yourself as the luckiest person alive and you’ll turn every day into something you’re grateful for.

Learn to direct the focus of your mind and remember the journey isn’t simply about the destination. Ultimately a rich fulfilling life is less about the score card and more about changing the way you feel. This is a journey for a lifetime, celebrate it.

And if, despite all you do, it feels like you’re losing at this life game, remember even the best of us have felt that way. Shonda Rhimes, creator, writer director of movies and tv shows said ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU THEY ARE DOING IT ALL PERFECTLY IS A LIAR.

Don’t underestimate yourself. You’re doing better than you think.

If you find this post helpful please share on your favourite social network.Someone out there might need that little bit of encouragement today.

And if you have strategies or quotes that work in helping manage change or struggle please share in the comments below. I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas. You might say just the thing to support someone who’s in the same boat!

As always, encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. This is hilarious but so true, Elle: “Problems come when you spend your time attacking the window because it isn’t a door!” If we had a $1 for every time we’ve done this, most of us would be rich. This is one area I want to keep working on, letting go when in reality I have no control anyway.

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Sandra…you’re so funny. Strange how we so often miss the mark! I think it was the Course in Miracles that said you’re never upset for the reason you think you are…something I’ve tried to always (mostly) remembered.:-)

  2. Awesome post on how to live life to pretty much the fullest. To take change of our lives, I tend to work at things slowly and build from there. It’s hard to always think of the big picture all the time when it only exhausts my mind. So anyway, awesome post and hope this helps many who’s looking to change their life.

    • ElleSommer

      Welcome Michael… I’m with you on your thoughts about mastering change. Are you of the school that says do one thing EVERY day, however small towards your dreams and they’ll most certainly appear in your reality? 🙂

  3. “Choose creativity as your companion and enjoy the enthusiasm, exhilaration, joy and peace it brings.”

    How true!!! Such a helpful article, and a great reminder about how important it is to look for the good, and living intentionally.

    Thanks, Elle!

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Ashley, you speak truth. Living intentionally matters before we find ourselves doing too many things we don’t want to be doing! 🙂

  4. “Working hard, yet struggling every day and not enjoying the experience means you’re missing the joy of life” that is so true. I know a few more people that need to read this. Thanks for the great post.

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Annest and thank you for taking the time to leave your thoughts. It’s always lovely to connect and hopefully the people you know who might be encouraged by this article will read it! 🙂

  5. Loved this post! The point that I reflected on most was ‘the biggest problem in managing change.’ I see how many times we get stuck beating windows when we have that door waiting with new opportunities for us. Change is scary sometimes and just today I was reflecting on the fact that we stop ourselves from so many blessings and opportunities when we live in fear of that change. Thank you for such great points that remind us us to embrace that change. ‘

    • ElleSommer

      Wow Edith…you say this so well. Who doesn’t find change scary? Sometimes even the slightest change in our usual way of living can create huge waves crashing around us. Knowing that by ignoring it we’re just getting in the way of so much more that’s good and great in life is a wonderful motivator to feel scared and go right ahead anyway! 🙂

  6. Elle, your website is great! I just stumbled upon it today. “Change is a journey, not a destination.” So true! I think the journey of chasing a goal in itself is what fulfills each of us – not necessarily the end result. Your mind needs to be refocused to view failure as a learning experience and not a “failure”. We need to learn to appreciate and, almost enjoy, mistakes, because you learn so much more from them than you do from your accomplishments!


    • ElleSommer

      Well, I write the words and I discover I’m a brilliant manifestor because here you are again DP! Isn’t that a great viewpoint, looking at mistakes as something to be enjoyed. We’re so conditioned to feel badly about things when we get them wrong. Yay to you for your awesome awareness. 😀

  7. I can apply these principles to my life now that I have moved to a new city and am trying to make lasting relationships. It was something I was insecure about because I’m 24 and couldn’t seem to find quality friendships so I turned to pity and self doubt instead of taking a look at myself and changing it. Thank you, Elle.

    • ElleSommer

      Wow Erynn, that’s very impressive. I say good for you…remember ‘it’s not who you are that holds you back, but who you think you’re not.’ 🙂

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Andy…I think more of us need to have your attitude. Wouldn’t life be soooo much easier…and fun! 🙂

  8. Great post. People need to learn short words from this post is need to responsibility for their actions and results to success. No one else can do that if they don’t do right things with right method. Accept mistake as part of success, they need to learn lesson to get right knowledge until they success. And they also need live life happy by keep peace of their soul by focus on grateful things they have own and don’t think so much about things they don’t have and can’t do.

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Chu Nam…thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. It’s always good to see what others are practicing in their life. 🙂

  9. Hi Elle

    I just want to say thank you as you have written an awesome posts that is thought provoking. I guess we are the one that have to make the change to live an extra-ordinary life. Thanks for sharing.

    • ElleSommer

      As always Ikechi thank YOU for taking the time and making the effort to stop by and share your thoughts with us. I bet I can speak for many when I say a big ‘thank you’. 🙂

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