Many of us struggle with change, even when we know it’s for the best. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that change has to be hard, or for big results you have to make big changes; or worse, if you should manage to change something it never sticks.
Who hasn’t fallen flat with New Year resolutions?
It doesn’t have to be that way. Let today be the day you make changes that stick, and it’s easier than you think.
Your results tell you all you need to know. If they’re not what you’d like to see then it’s time to make some changes.
1. Begin by being insistent
Never forget you are one of a kind.
You wouldn’t be here on this planet if the uniqueness that was you wasn’t needed. No matter how discouraged you might get, or how challenging your problems might be, remember that all the changes that matter in the world came about because of one person.
And all the change in your world can only come about because of you. You’re the one who has to create a blueprint, and you’re the one who has to build the life. No one can or will do it for you.
Insist on pursuing your dreams; take chances; accept yourself, faults and all; respect yourself; respect others; live each day to the full. Your dreams and desires are needed.
2. Give up those ultimate statements
Don’t make blanket statements beginning with ‘I’ll never.’ Making ultimate statements causes a whole heap of resistance. If you’re going to give something up, focus on the thing you want, not the thing you plan on giving up.
Change needs a helping hand. Give yourself a chance by replacing those ultimate statements with something more positive. Forget the ‘I always’ – you can never be ‘always’ at anything. 
Crowd out your old habits. The old habits of thought, of speech, of action that prevent new results.
And don’t forget you’re human. Falling back into old habits doesn’t mean you’ll never get to the top of the mountain. Maybe you just need to travel on a road that’s less steep for now.
3. Take small steps to make giant leaps
To do things differently, we have to be different. It won’t happen overnight. Don’t make change more difficult than it need be. You are as powerful and capable as you say you are, but there is a price to pay. The price is commitment.
The good news is that one little step every day soon builds the momentum of change. Remember change is a process, not an event. Seek small improvements one day at a time and eventually you’ll see big results. (read The Spirit of Kaizen)
Don’t be put off by how far you have to go. If you keep your eyes on the gap between where you are today and where you’re heading, the vastness of the space in between will paralyze you.
You can make change easier by keeping your eye on the improvements you make. Acknowledge your positive present and let go of the negative past.
4. A little spring cleaning works wonders
Many of us don’t pay nearly enough attention to the thoughts we think, which create the feelings we have, the actions we take and the results we experience.
When I studied with Bob Proctor, he used to say give me 5 minutes with someone and I can tell you the results they experience. That’s because our patterns of speech follow our patterns of thinking.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine you’re the person you’d like to be, living the life you want to have. By keeping the person you’d like to be in the forefront of your mind you’ll discover before too long you’ve become the person you fantasized about.
Your whole outer life is being determined by the inward track of your thinking.
It’s time to spring clean those thoughts. In the end ‘you become what you think about’ is the foundation for your actions and your results. Clean out thoughts of lack, fear, frustration, doubt, or resentment. They poison the well of your happiness.
Isn’t it better to have a regular spring cleaning of your thinking, even if it means making a daily effort, than to never live the life you wanted?
5. Don’t let anything hold you back
No matter if you see yourself needing to learn more, don’t wait. Fear of uncertainty is a problem for many of us, don’t let it hold you back.
You deserve happiness. You deserve to live a life you love, so begin.
Begin to put the past behind you, even though it hurts. Begin to see yourself as brave, even when you’re quaking in your boots. You have it in your power to begin again, to live each day to the fullest because this day is the only one you can be sure of. Get started.
6. No more excuses
You are here to fulfill a special purpose. A purpose that only you can meet. Stop being a prisoner of excuses and set yourself free. Profound possibilities await, but first you must accept responsibility for doing what must be done. It’s always your choice to sit and make excuses or get moving.
You can overcome any obstacles if you’re determined enough. A great life won’t come to you by chance but through the choices you make.
Excuses will sabotage your progress and eventually undermine your best intentions and greatest hopes. Believe in yourself, give yourself the life you deserve.
7. Motivation
Motivation isn’t static, it ebbs and flows, it’s habit that will keep you going. But you can make it easier to create new habits. Some people are motivated by tying their goals to a reward. Help yourself by adding a reward system to the process.
You can give yourself mini rewards as you take mini steps or a major reward once the goal is reached. Or a combination of both.
My friend Susan likes to tie fun to the achievement of her goals. You might choose an evening out, or some treat that means something to you. Anything that makes the process more fun. It also keeps you going when things get a little tough.
8. Don’t try to skip the process
The most important thing you can know is how you want your life to be. Don’t discount your preferences as unimportant or you’ll never act on your desires in a powerful way. You deserve to have everything in your life just the way you want it.
“Stop looking for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement, one day at a time. That’s the way it happens ~ and when it happens, it lasts.”
Don’t try and skip the process. Slowly build a powerful foundation for lasting change in any area you desire.
Being able to repeat your steps is the key to the magic formula that makes change permanent, that makes it stick.
I’d love to hear from you:
If you’ve had a hard time making any kind of change recently, which one of these steps will help?
Tell me about it in the comments below. The more detail you can share in your comment, the better. We all need encouragement, inspiration and connection and your insight or story might just be what someone needs to have a breakthrough.
Thanks for reading, and if you know of anyone who’s struggling with change, please share.
Encourage one another.
Love Elle
18 Comments
You’re so right Elle! Taking small steps and focusing on them helps me greatly when trying to implement something new.
As you said, things don’t happen overnight, it’s so much easier and productive to just focus on what you’re doing. Don’t overwhelm yourself, just make it simple.
~Lea
Funny Leah how we all eventually and hopefully learn the same thing. We overcomplicate life when it could be so much simpler.
🙂
Hi Elle, your articles never fail to motivate me…. It is true that we should focus on the positive things in our life, we should really let go of the negative things in our past. Change can happen to all of us, if we have the determination to do it now. Thanks for sharing a great post.
It comes down to the practice doesn’t it Sherill? We all know plenty of people who understand the principles, but never actually put them into practice. If they only knew that even 1 minute a day of directing their thinking towards what they wanted would make a difference maybe more people would actually do it. 🙂
I find this quote from Churchill especially interesting, as it illustrates how we get caught up in the doing and sometimes lose the big picture. That can happen for me at times.
Right now my challenging is and has been working with a very limited diet. I’m pretty good actually, but there are the occasional impulsive moments. Guess that would fit under “excuses” or under “ultimate statements” like, “I can’t help it!” 🙂
But, you’re right, it’s up to each one of us!
I hear you Sandra. I too have needed to restrict my diet so I absolutely get what you say. In order to make it simple for me I took a look at the Zone, deciding I could tailor it to my needs and the most beautiful thing I got from it, for me, was the expression ‘You’re only one meal away from the zone.’ So on those occasions when I do ‘something impulsive’ and you know I do…I remind myself later…I’m only one meal away from the zone. It works in two ways, I don’t beat myself up and my next meal is more in keeping with a diet that helps my body. 🙂
Small steps taken hour after hour Elle make change, lasting. Thanks!
Hi Ryan, thanks for stopping by. I never realised how many were practicing small steps until now. They say we write what we need to learn…I find for my I write what I sometimes need to remember! 🙂
Another great article Elle! I agree 100% with what you have suggested here. Starting with our thoughts, words and emotions we can change. It is so important to follow all the steps in your post and I especially love what you said “our patterns of speech follow our patterns of thinking.” So true! Have a wonderful weekend <3
Hi Melissa, it’s easy to just focus on the practical outer actions that make all the difference…but you and I both know they just won’t stick. Will power is great but can’t make lasting habits…this is an inside job because until we write that new script or create that new blueprint our old habits will always run the show. But at least we can begin even that with a minute a day directing our attention to our new concepts. Repetition is always key in the end isn’t it? 🙂
Thanks Elle,
I find that change can happen even easier by adding a few tools that access your subconscious. I work with EFT and The Healing Codes (my favorite) but there are many more out there. It just sinks in deeper and neutralizes the old patterns before installing the new. Sort of like wiping the slate clean before writing new words. But the first step is realizing that something needs to change right? Then as you said implementing and consistency. We don’t get anywhere without that.
I hope people will follow your advice. It can really change their lives 😉
Any investment in the amazing wonderful being that everyone is is an investment worth making indeed Melissa. Not everything resonates with everyone, but for sure there are tools and techniques that support us all and I’m so grateful to you for sharing some that work well for you. e-hugs 🙂
Elle –
Always such good, sound advice. Anyone of those tips can help enable real change in our lives. I’m a firm believer in ‘bite size changes’ – the metaphor for practicing scales on a musical instrument is powerful. You do it everyday – even for 15 minutes- and over a course of month – your technique will have improved significantly. 🙂 Fran
Hi Fran, how nice to see you. Great metaphor with the piano…all that we do has a cumulative effect doesn’t it. For our benefit or sometimes not. I vote for cumulative things that fill our life with wonderful experiences.Like you giving away flowers for example. I bet you’re experiencing a cumulative effect with that habit. 🙂
I think the biggest challenge for me is trying to skip the process. It is so easy to get so excited about possible end results that you forget how many small steps it will take to get there. Then when you encounter obstacles or lose patience your plans can go awry because you expect it to be instant rather than enjoying the long term processes.
Hi Sebastian..funny you should talk about that. My enthusiasm can run away with me too, so I know how you feel. But it’s the same old story of the hare and the tortoise really. Easy does it. 🙂
Hi Elle,What you say about excuses there is so true.We often fall for the bait of excuses or blame because its so convenient.Yet we forget that finding solutions is the only perfect process of growth.Blaming and excuses root you to a decadent past. Solutions ,on the other hand transport you to the future.They are the milestones on the shimmering road to progress.It often happens that a few of us are so taken up with stewing about problems that we continue our ranting even after it has been solved.It is like throwing away the banana and cursing the peel for being there in the first place.It is a subtle sign of dis-empowerment.
Thanks
Mona
As always Mona, you have such a lovely turn of phrase. And speak such truth. I had to laugh when you talked about those who continue complaining even when the situation is solved. Who hasn’t seen this? Who hasn’t done this? As we become more aware of the results of our thought and speech it does make it a whole lot easier to say whoa, not going down this road. As you and I both know once we become aware of something the next step is simply to practice. 🙂