Believe me, if there were a well known route to the state of perpetual happiness everyone would on it…including me! 

Truth be told we often need a lot less than we think we do to achieve true happiness most of the time in life.

But still we get hung up on our focus of what we don’t have and what we think we must have to be happy.

That, dear ones, is not the way.

There are some simple steps to achieving true happiness starting with:

1. Acknowledging it’s you, it’s always been you

Most often it’s not what we have or where we are that robs us of achieving true happy. It’s the way we think about it

Acknowledging that no one thinks our thoughts for us…even when we wish they could…and determining to change our thinking is the first step to improving your happiness quotient.

2. Ditch and switch

Ditch the comparisons and switch to focusing on your own path in life. Your own unique purpose for being here. 

Remind yourself you don’t have to be like anyone else, because every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute you’ve wasted on living your own. 

Your story is different and unique and deserves it’s own place in the world.

3.  Do more

And no, I don’t mean do more of the things you must do.  We all have responsibilities in life and I for one can’t do what I want to do every second of every day, and you probably can’t either.

Some times we have to delay short term gratification for longer term gains.

But we always have a choice to do more of the things that truly matter, the things that fill our soul with joy and excitement.  That’s a great step towards achieving true happiness.

4. Embrace imperfection

Time to be honest.  You know I’ll  ‘fess up even when it shows me at my worst! 

And I confess there are times when I just can’t help it.  Those perfectionism demons sneak in when I’m not looking. 

And I embrace that imperfect part of me. It no longer has total control…because I can see it when it shows up.  Okay not always instantly, but pretty quickly.

So whatever your imperfections are, embrace them, celebrate them. They make you beautifully you.

5.  Step up your social connections

Neglecting our social relationships is actually shockingly dangerous to our health said Ruth Whippman author of America the Anxious. 

It seems that neglecting our social connections can be roughly twice as dangerous to our health as obesity.

Wow. So being healthy is more than exercising and eating our veggies, we need to remember to connect.

Is it time to reach out to old friends? 

Or participate in more activities outside your norm and see who shows up as a new connection?

Or just plain old fashioned being interested in others and making an effort to get to know them better? 

All of which might just be the steps you need to take towards achieving true happiness.

Not to mention not dying before your time! 

Which would definitely make me truly happy, and I think I can speak for you here.  Right?

6. Train that puppy

Okay, okay, I don’t really have a puppy for you to train.  I’m talking about your mind

Your mind is a super powerful instrument for achieving true happiness and a super destroyer of any happiness you might gain when used incorrectly.

And you have to train it.  Let’s face it that super powerful instrument of yours has probably led you a merry dance for the best part of your life.

Think of a puppy.  You tell it to sit and it ignores you  Your mind is going to do the same.  You tell it to sit again and again and again and eventually it does, for a nano-second.

And you persist.  And that little doggy begins to pay attention.  Giving it a treat for doing that helps too!

If you want to be in charge of your happiness, you need to be in charge of this all powerful mind of yours.

You need repetition, as with the puppy.

Thinking positively is a skill you can acquire through persistence.  Bombard your mind with thoughts of what you want, of how wonderful life is.  The more you tell your mind something the more quickly it accepts it.

Put your happiness on autopilot by learning to turn your mind towards your desired future.  It might be a little more resistant than your little puppy, but it will eventually sit up and take notice.

7.  Give thanks

Gratitude is a force to be reckoned with.  I wish for you that you notice every little pleasurable moment in your day.  Because when you work with gratitude on a regular basis you’ll discover the vibration that it carries will transform your life.

So even if you feel you have very little to be grateful for right now, don’t allow yourself to be so hardened that you no longer see joy and happiness.  They are still there. 

Open your mind and your heart and make a conscious decision to be grateful for what you do have.

I can honestly say I rarely have a day where there isn’t something to be thankful for and you can do the same.  Your life will never be the same again.  Believe me.

Just focus on the step you’re taking now.  Life is always about small steps that we take every day and one soon day, you’ll look behind you and you’ll see you’ve come a really long way.

You, my darlings have everything you need for achieving true happiness and all you need to do is say, yes and thank you.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. I love the “Train that puppy” advice. The analogy of comparing the mind to a puppy is so accurate. To get your mind to mind does take a good amount of patience and persistence too – with maybe a few treats thrown in here and there! 🙂

    • It’s funny Debbie…the train that puppy idea came from a dream I had where I was telling someone this is how it works! lol.

  2. I love these ideas, Elle. They could become my daily manifesto! What eye opening information about social connection, wow, loneliness is twice as dangerous as obesity!!!!

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