Side view of young man with headache touching forehead on white

You seem to be doing everything right and still not getting the results you should.

No matter who you are, how successful you are or aren’t, or how happy you are, life always has something more to offer. You live in an incredibly limitless, abundant and extremely co-operative universe.

And maybe, just maybe you’re playing the wrong game.

Maybe you’re trying to cram way too much into your days, instead of simply getting the most out of each moment.

Maybe you’re in a state of consistent overwhelm because of all the choices there are available, all the things you could do.

And maybe it’s time to take stock of  what’s not working and decide to do something different.

To experience more of the limitless abundance available you’ll need to change your mindset.

To do this, make a commitment to eliminate some of the self-sabotaging mistakes you could be making and see how you can play a different game.

Looking for a free ride without being willing to pay the price

Your better future isn’t free. There’s a price you need to pay. The price we all have to pay. It isn’t the right education, or more money to be invested or knowing and schmoozing the right people.

All you need is YOU and what you can bring to the table in discipline, consistency and a passionate desire for a better future.

It might not be the easiest thing in the world, but this is what makes you into the person you need to be in order to live the life you want to live.

Didn’t keep the faith

Don’t be so hard on yourself – when things go wrong or didn’t turn out quite the way you planned try to remember it’s all working out…just not yet. Sometimes we stub our toe on a rock that turns out to be a diamond.

Take a deep breath and know it’s not over until you say it is.

You might be starting out with wobbly confidence and you might have to continue despite the doubts and feelings of discouragement, but know this… having faith that you CAN accomplish, that you can enjoy greater happiness and success becomes the foundation on which your future is built.

Lacking in persistence

We all get disheartened. Try and remember during your darker times that discouragement or disappointment are only stepping stones to your success.

Follow the way of the river which cuts through rock by persistence and stay determined to bring your dreams to fruition because you were willing to stumble from failure to failure without losing your passion for your desire.

Pay-offs follow persistence.

Over-thinking and over-analyzing  everything

Over-thinking  often leads to doing nothing.

You find yourself standing still, looking every which way, like a deer in the headlights, but never getting into action.

And for all us likely procrastinators, over thinking can turn into procrastination in a blink of an eye. We over-think the positive until it turns into a negative and it results in us sabotaging the good things we’ve got going.

Vow to not do this to yourself. I’ve learned to simply choose one small step, and stay focused on getting it done. This has become a habit that now serves me well.

Not identifying and focusing on what you really want in life

Because life is so incredibly limitless and filled with abundance, there’s lots of things to experience. But if you focus on more than one major purpose you scatter your energies.

You harness all your powers when you keep your attention on one thing. Think of the sun’s rays, capable of starting a fire when intensely focussed through a magnifying glass on one area.

And in life if you want to hit a target you have to aim for it.

When you learn to focus on one goal at a time instead of jumping from goal to goal you’ll discover the saying ‘you can do anything you set your mind to’ becomes your reality.

Worrying too much whether people like you

Life shouldn’t be about pleasing everybody.  You matter too. Be someone who is able to think well of themselves.

Those who like themselves are positive confident, and attractive to others.

When you don’t think you deserve the best that life has to offer, which goes hand in hand with not liking yourself, you tend to sabotage yourself in ways you can’t even see.

Remember how others see you is less important than how you see yourself. The way you see yourself is the way you live your life, its the building block of every choice you make, and every experience that comes your way.

Never making the time to do something for others

Whilst life isn’t about pleasing everyone else at your expense, equally you can’t be truly happy if you care only about yourself at the expense of someone else.

The evidence is in. Researchers say those who help others tend to live longer and more satisfying lives. It promotes well being, people are attracted to you and…from my own personal can transform grief into joy.

You might not be able to change what anyone else does, or what’s happened to you, but you can add to the joys and blessings of life, yours and others, by holding out a welcoming hand of loving support.

Remember if someone asks for help and you can give it, say yes. And having said yes, don’t then forget all about it. Step up to the plate and lend a hand.

You won’t go far wrong if you practice the words of William Ward: 

“Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.” 

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Have you made any of these mistakes? Or is something else sabotaging your success?

Encourage one another.

Love Elle

P.S  If you enjoyed this post please share it with friends and on your favourite social- media sites. It might be something that supports another to greater success and happiness.


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. It’s amazing how many people complain about their lives and want things to change but have never considered exactly what they want their future to look, sounds and feel like. Or they shoot for a goal and give up when it doesn’t materialize overnight.

    Creating your own amazing life takes vision, passion, persistence, perseverance and everything else you’ve mentioned here, Elle. I love this post! Especially the part about contributing to others. To me, a goal doesn’t mean much if it doesn’t help someone else somehow.

  2. Elle,
    You hit every nail on the head! I’m an over thinker and over analyzer. I just need to do it or at least get started and see where life takes me. I always leave your blog feeling very inspired! I also love the Napoleon Hill and William Ward quotes!
    Loved the post! Thanks!

  3. Elle, not only worrying too much about whether people like you or not but also paying too much attention to what people think of you and what people are doing in their own lives. Just as bad as being a people-pleaser is someone worried about their reputation or trying to compare their lives to others. Life’s too short and valuable to play the comparison game and give our energy to pointless pursuits. Also, living our lives according to our friend’s and neighbors can only result in inauthentic and unfulfilling living! Do what makes your heart sing – live your own life:)

    • Elle

      Ah Vishnu you always have such wonderful comments and this is no exception. Do what makes your heart sing indeed even when it’s scary…heck especially when it’s scary. I know your comment will make a difference to everyone who reads it. 🙂

  4. Hi Elle,
    I agree there with you that when we over analyse and over think we do ourselves in .This is more so when we are exclusively concerned about others’ opinions about us.
    Then that aspect about never making time for others…..
    In fact those are two are closely related points;people who’re over concerned about opinions are so engrossed about themselves solely that they miss the importance of genuinely,selflessly , doing something for others.
    I agree with Vishnu there that life is too short to live in comparisons all along.
    Thanks for reminding that some mistakes recur even when we know they are mistakes.

    • Elle

      Hi Mona, it’s interesting I’m thinking of writing my next article along those lines. Are you a mind reader girl? 🙂

  5. Hi Elle,
    It’s good to hear that you’re writing a post along those lines,because that’s a need today.And I’m sure the way you are going to project things,the insights will strike home like bolts of lightening.
    You put down things so well.Really!
    BTW I am no mind reader.But wish I could be one for luminaries like you!
    Thanks again

    • Elle

      Mind reader, maybe not Mona. But you are a little comedienne, luminaries indeed! 🙂

  6. HI, a very enlightening post. I love the part when you mentioned that “Life shouldn’t be about pleasing everybody. You matter too. Be someone who is able to think well of themselves”, sometimes we are so obsessed of how others think about us, but the truth is, believing in oneself matters a lot in achieving and pursuing our goals. If you can’t even believe in yourself then who else will believe you. Thanks for sharing. Great post.

  7. wyclef Kamanda

    I just like every sentence,i feel it was like someone was coaching me while reading all i have ever done in my life.When you so much start believing you can makes even though at the present you cant, it makes all those around you believe in you too and the end results to you being able.
    Many thanks Elle you are as a coach to me

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Wyclef, I love being your online coach! And you are so right, once you believe in you, others will too. It really works. 🙂

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